Category: Visions

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Treasures of David Butler

June 18, 2019

Last night’s dream was super cool. It reminded me of an episode of Harry Potter. In the dream, I discover a pattern to make money. I have observed people often drop dollar bills at the metro. The dollars fall into the cracks in between the floor tiles. Most are in a rush to get to where they are going so they are completely oblivious to the treasures that lie at their feet. On this day and every day, I rummage through the tiles on the platform looking for lost treasures. It is my lucky day. I find many $20 dollar bills. People are finding out about my good fortune and want in on my secret but they just haven’t got the knack of looking in between the tiles. You also want to wait long enough for the person who dropped the dollar bill to be gone so you are not considered stealing. The items have to be lost for the finder to pick them up and consider them his own treasures.

I repeat my daily routine of scouring the platform for lost dollars. On a subsequent day, I discover a small box someone has left behind. I look into the box and see a wad of cash. I’ve hit the jackpot. I quickly check to make sure this qualifies as lost. There is so much cash here and other treasures I am having trouble finding a place to put them on my person. My pockets are stuffed full. A few of my follows grab a couple items to help me haul them off.

My name is David Butler and I work in a castle as a teacher of archaeology. I also have a store front in the castle where I sell some of my found treasure which I’ve determined can be sold. On this day a student arrives unexpectedly early and takes the liberty of opening the storefront windows revealing my artifacts from the previous day. I tell her I am still in the process of cataloging the items. I am particularly interested in the wad of dough. The dollar bills are not of this epoch. The symbols and faces on the money are from a time long ago. The symbols are animated just like the pictures in a Harry Potter movie. From watching David Butler work it become apparent he is not interested in the value of the items but is mainly interested in the message the items communicate much like reading a tarot deck. One of the bills has a 3D image of 3 swords. David pulls one of the swards out of the dollar bill to measure it. He hesitates for a moment realizing this is a big one.

He is now secretly planning a spectacular event to show off his findings. The dresses up as a night with armor and a veiled face. His fail is made of animal fur. He looks at me and shows me his sward and banner, implying he is expecting feedback on how he looks. I on the other hand am captivated by the man in furr. I respond, I’m interested more in the man.

He takes off to position himself in the castle for the opening festivities. He is so high on the euphoria of his find he is unable to land. His excitement has caused him to take flight. To solve this he reaches for his long sword and point it to the ground. The tip of the sword touches the top step of the baluster anchoring him firmly to the castle.

This is David Butler.

~~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS!

This was such a dramatic dream. It also felt so real when I was there especially when we were in the castle and his work area. What was very interesting to me in the dream was when the dream morphed and I went from being the main character to that of the observer. It seemed to happen when I reached a point where I was more interested in learning about what it is I am doing in the dream that my consciousness moved to a position of observer. This split also coincided with the revelation that David Butler was more interested in what he was learning from the objects (the symbols on the bills) than the value of the bills themselves. This is also when the character took on the identity of David Butler. I don’t know where the name came from but it was very loud and clear. The climax of course was when David Bulter laid down his sword on the baluster to touch the earth.

Phenomenal simply phenomenal!!

I’m going to put this in the romance category because of the word armor. I think this is a play on words with amore which means love in Italian. When I told him I was more interested in the man under the fur it felt very sexual and intimate and the sword lent itself to the part of a man. At the moment when I responded I felt the dream was hinting at a love to come my way.

Definition of butler. 1 : a manservant having charge of the wines and liquors. 2 : the chief male servant of a household who has charge of other employees, receives guests, directs the serving of meals, and performs various personal services.

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Game of Hide and Seek

March 25, 2019

Last night’s dream was filled with very cool greater than life visuals. In the dream, I am on a spaceship although it is not until later in the dream where I discover the ship can fly and is actually a spaceship. At first, I am simply aware I am on a ship; a large vessel with many decks for various purposes. We are on a mission in a foreign world. The adversaries or targets of interest are not really adversaries simply a group of people from whom we would like to acquire more information. It feels like a practice game to prepare for survival among an enemy. I know this because both groups of people are on the same ship and the ship is mine. I appear to be intimately familiar with it except since I am in an altered state some of the memories need to be retrieved. At times, I simply have to go with my gut feeling.

We are working in teams. I’ve also played this Hide and Seek game before. There is a cloaking mechanism we use to hide from the adversary. It seems to be based on an inter-dimensional shift. I can tell because the ethers vibrate causing a kaleidoscope of color which makes the embers glow. It looks like smoke or fog with an opaque obscurity which helps conceal. There is something about my eyes where people can easily detect my presence. My eyes seem to be projecting images onto a movie screen. At this point, I open my eyes because I had to go to the bathroom. I open them slowly because I wasn’t quite sure which eyes would open, my waking eyes or my dream eyes. I didn’t want to give away my position in the hide and seek game. As I opened my eyes I peered out into my bedroom to try to determine where I am. My bedroom was glowing filled with etheric embers. Both worlds were super imposed on one another. I lift my comforter slightly to allow myself to slip out of bed unnoticed. The embers within the dream also glowed a golden color. One of my team members came over to remind me he could see my eyes. This was expected but yet not expected because after all I was awake and getting up out of bed and this person is not from my waking world.

I took it as a nod, I can take my pee break and return to bed. Upon returning to bed I immediately fell back into the dream. I can see the space ship has detached. The space ship has an upper deck and a lower deck and like the saucer on the enterprise it can detach from its’ base. The base is the part where most of the power is stored so to fly fast it needs to be returned to it’s base. I am worried it will not be reunited with it’s base. As the top zooms off in the distance, I see moments later the base zoom by at twice the speed to catch up to the top. As it readies to reunite with the top I am shown how the reunification process works. The top fits on the bottom like a lid fits on a saucepan. There are guard rails along the rim which guides the lid into place.

Once they reunite, I find myself on the ship once again. The training is over and now I am visiting with a little girl. She has found my mothers iPad which I still have after her passing away. The little girl seems to be intrigued by the iPad. Since I don’t have use for it anymore I offer it to the little girl. She swipes the screen and it illuminates revealing a picture background which reminds me I should wipe the data clean so she can put her own stuff on there.

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Tinker Bell’s Bassinet

March 15, 2019

Last night’s dream was a repeating dream as if the dream wanted to make sure I got the message. In the dream, I am readying the baby stroller checking it over and learning how it functions. The documentation on the stroller says it comes with an optional bassinet available at a significantly reduced price. It is not the bassinet I had intended on buying so I am somewhat reluctant to inquire about getting it. Slowly with each iteration of the dream, I become more open minded. Each time looking over the features of the bassinet they offer. The features seem very nice and acceptable but I still have my heart set on a different one which I had previously previously picked out. Again the dream repeats until finally my alarm clock sounds.

I quickly snoozed it pausing for a moment to reflect on the bassinet offered at a significant discount. I am torn between the one I want and the one which is being offered in the dream. As I fell back into my snooze, I see a woman who looks at me as if to ask, “Have you decided yet?” I think she can tell I am having difficulty with this one. A thought comes to her mind and she opens her eyes wide open implying she has a bright idea. Her image disappears when my alarm rings for a second time.

Wanting to know more about the bright idea, I quickly snoozed the alarm. I grabbed the dog gave him some morning kisses and readied myself to receive the gift. I slowly fell back into my dream state where I am now looking through an obfuscated window. The glass on the window is made of honey combs. I can see through the hexagons, through the golden jelly which fills each hexagon and off into the distance where blinking lights seem to be fluttering. As the lights approach the window, I can tell they are not lights but instead flying butterflies or possibly dragonflies. The light is produced by the sun shining on the wings of the butterflies. Their wings are flapping slower than a bee or humming bird. They approach even closer to reveal their little bodies which look more like Tinker Bells. At times the light coming through the honey combs is refracted off the Tinker Bells which reminded me of a kaleidoscope. It was beautiful beyond words. Again my alarm sounds.

I quickly snoozed it yet again feeling I needed more clarity on the vision. I quickly fell back into the dream state. This time, I could see shooting stars falling toward me. Each star when it entered the atmosphere of the night sky in my mind blazed in a splendor of color, yellows, orange and peach tones.

Before the alarm sounded again I knew I had no sleep left. I turned off the alarm and laid in bed meditating on the meaning.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

The subconscious speaks in pictures which are not easily translated. Maybe they are meant to be felt and experienced. Where the images come from I don’t know. What amazes me is the clarity with which the mind can formulate the images with such perfection. I am not an artist with any ability to draw so how does my mind create such things. Simply amazing.

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Gorilla Morning

January 28, 2019

Last night’s dream was very bizarre and detailed.  In the dream I have been frequenting the office building where I work.  Day by day the scene changes just a little bit.  The change is so slight it is unnoticeable except when I reflect back on the past and recall details no longer present.  Everyday I go buy my danish and morning coffee from a small Korean market.  On this morning, I again go buy my danish except the sum change over the many years hits me.  As I reflect on the past, I perceive the overall change as significant.  What is causing the change?  I decide to do something different today.

Looking around I decide to follow the others about their morning business.  I hop on a bus.  The bus takes me up on a mountain to a remote location which is barely accessible.  To hide from view I am camouflaged in the back of the bus with leather skins.  I can hear the sound of the the animals who wore the skins.   The passengers here are being taken hostage by a group of gorilla vandals and made to be slaves.  I realize I have to do something to save these people.   The gorillas are not yet aware of my presence since I am normally a creature of habit and would not have deviated from my morning routine they simply are not expecting me to be on this bus.  I study my environment carefully and decide a course of action.  I am unknown here it is almost as if I blend in to the scenery and am simply overlooked by their own force of habit. The gorillas simply do not notice me.   I use this to my advantage.

I become lucid enough to know I am in an altered state and most likely dreaming.  I decide to try some of my skills to manipulate the dream.  I begin threading parts of the dream to alter the tracks slightly.  This allows those who are enslaved here to notice a slight change but not large enough for it to be obvious to the gorillas.  Those seeking hope can see the light and realize a new day is on the horizon.  Little by little, I thread a parallel timeline.  I divine a storyline where the Master Gorilla likes to be fed only one particular food his morning crescent.  The gorillas seeing the new storyline give instructions to the slaves to make the crescents for the Master Gorilla. Over time the MG begins to gain weight and becomes obese all the while I continue threading the new storyline.  The new story line allows the the slaves to enjoy a thanksgiving meal while the gorillas are given a ration beans.  They have no awareness I have changed the storyline.

In time I create an opening big enough in the dream to fill with new possibilities.  I breath in the vapors of the dream and it feels good.  There is a sense of freedom.  I am given a chair and a wooden staff.  The chair sits on the track I created.  The chair moves along the track and through the opening in the dream.  I ride it home but on the way I ride past the Master Gorilla who I easily identify because he is very obese now.  He is being held to the dream by only a few remaining threads.  I take my staff and poke him with it once then twice.  The second poke dislodges him from the dream completely.  We are all free now.

My chair continues down the track as I return to my bed and I awake from the dream.

~~~~ DREAM ENDS

After my alarm rang I closed my eyes and immediately had a vision of a woman.  I studied her features carefully.  Her jaw line was thin and pointy.  She had similar eyes to my family.  She resembled my dad’s side of the family.  I wondered if she was representing the female embryo’s.  She spoke to me.  I could see her lips moving and the expressions she made will speaking.  She explained the gorilla dream on some deep level words are not able to describe.  When she was done she gave a final blink of her eyes and vanished.

 

 

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A Belief In A Donut Hole for OB

August 12, 2018

The previous night as I was about to fall asleep I had a vision,  In the vision I see a sea of grey blue cilia swaying to and fro.  Each cilia was dimly lit from within by an internal light source.  As my consciousness moved along this bed I came upon a man about the age of 26 among the cilia .  His portrait came in with perfectly and complete clarity.  He wore a blue and grey shirt who’s fibers were also illuminated from within.  His hair was an iridescent  blond.  His eyes a deep blue.    He wore glasses which made me think this is the first time I’ve ever seen a dream vision person wearing glasses.  The intensity of his eyes was striking.  I wondered if this could be OB but being skeptical I looked for reasons why it wouldn’t be him.  I looked carefully at his hair.  He has a full head of hair which was straight with minor waves.  On his forehead his hair went straight up then nicely curved down.  I thought this is not a pattern my hair had when I was young at least I don’t remember it.  My eyes are not blue with this intensity even though I know his donor mom has a family history of blue and green eye and there are green eyes in my family history.  He had a soft shadow beard which I thought could definitely be a trait he received from me.   He looked at me for a long time…..a long time as if in a trance.  His visage moved or changed only slightly.  His image seemed to fade and faze in and out.  As it fazed it felt as if I was seeing two ages at once.  As if I could see through him into a timeline of his life.  I focused on an image of his face around the age of 14.  I compared the two simultaneously and recognized where his maturity came from.  I seemed to understand everything about him.

~~~~ Vision August 11th Ends

Last night I had a dream where my roommate is moving and packing his things.  He has compacted all his belongings into the center of the living room.  It all seems to have melted into a flat round disc about 5 to 6 feet across and about 2 feet deep.  It looks like a round coffee table in the center of the room.  All his belonging are compacted into this disk.  He then takes a donut hole cutter and impresses it into the center of the disk and cuts the hole out.  This center hole now is compressed and glazed down even further.  The glaze is so think I can see it has a glaze depth of about 1 inch all around.   I ask him what happened to all your belongings?  How can you claim this donut hole as a complete collection of all your belonging.  Instead of responding verbally he demonstrates by placing the compressed and glazed donut hole in water.  The donut hole grows and expands with to the size of the original disk before he took the donut hole cutter to it.   I now believe.

~~~~ Dream Ends

This morning I thought I should really take the time to journal my dream and vision from the night before.  I was unsure about journalling the vision of the young man with glasses because it seemed so simple a man with glasses…. what was there to tell?  Not only that, I just knew it would be incredibly difficult to find a picture of a man with characteristics similar to the man in the dream.  Funny enough yesterday I went to the gym and there were about 3 guys who looked SO similar to the guy in my dream.  I almost thought I should try to approach one of them and say hello.  At one point two of the guys were relatively close to one another and I thought should I ask them if they are related? My shyness got the best of me discounting the effort as my conscious mind wanting desperately to see what it wants to see.  Maybe they didn’t look anything alike.  It further enforced my willingness to discount the vision as too simple to journal.  So today, I thought OK I’ll do some searches for “blond haired man with glasses” and see if I get a hit.  I thought if I was to go to a beauty salon and wanted a hair cut like someone in a magazine how would I find the images of the hair cut I wanted.  None of the images seemed to convey the exact hair style.  I changed the search a bit to “long haired man with glasses”  With this search I got a hit that matched perfectly.  The glasses we not quite what I saw as the glasses in my dream where more thin rimmed glasses but the intensity of the eyes were definitely the same.  The hair is a 100% match especially the way it goes up then curls back down on the forehead down to the side of his face.  The way the light hits his face kinda resembled the illumination that was present in the cilia and in the fibers of his shirt.  The lenses reminded me of being able to see into him and his timeline.

Now could it be OB?  Well it wasn’t until I started journaling it that the probability shot through the roof.  It was in the cilia.  As I tried to describe the cilia I remembered the blue and grey.  Those colors have been present in most of my OB dreams so much so that I’ve associated the colors with him.  Also the fact that he had glasses on made it different from any previous vision or dream.  People just do not have a need for glasses in my dreams.

 

 

 

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Love

My second partner Michael who held 10 yrs of my life.

August 3, 2018

Last night I had a dream where I am in a line of people not quite sure what we are waiting for.  I am with my mother who is old and in a wheel chair.  I am protecting her.  Along the path where we walk are cutouts small rooms with 3 walls.  Occasionally people pause while they wait in line to reflect on what each room holds.  While standing in line your vision is restricted to the cutout room directly in front of you.  I am standing in front of my mom.  It is has been my belief we are at the end of the line whoever I become aware of a man who has been standing behind my mom.  I have missed noticing him because he has been engaged in each of the rooms as the line has moved.  I on the other hand have been waiting in line with my mom not entering the cutouts.  To satisfy my curiosity who might be standing behind my mom I walk behind her now in a position to see into the cutout where the man stands.  I discover the man in the room is Michael.  My second partner.  He looks amazingly beautiful.  All the reasons I fell in love with him come rushing back.  His hair glistens in the light of the sun and his beard seems to reflect the rays of the sun.  Yet even with all this love for him I feel I need to scold him for his actions.  I somehow feel he might have done some wrong against my mother.  I want him to know I stand to protect my mom.  I also feel he has hurt me.  A part of me if mad over the pain he has created in my life.

As I stand there in discussion with him, I begin to become aware of the dream.  Knowing I’m in a dream now I look at “Michael” and wonder what else might he be here to represent.  With my mind focused on OB and feeling the love deep within me.  I can feel it radiating out warmly by the sun reflecting off his golden hair.

My alarm rings and I wake up to snooze it.  I quickly close my eyes trying desperately to return to the dream.  My inner eye now sees cartoon characters.  These are very similar to yesterday’s except these appear to be presented for a mature audience.  The characters are dressed in cartoon suits, some I notice look like formal wear.  They seem to be gathering for a celebration.  I see their cartoon hair is black and well presented with clear delineation and  distinction.  They appear to be happy and proud.  My alarm rings a second time.

~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

As I was journalling my dream and describing the cutout rooms I had a very strong feeling that each room represented a day in my life.  I seem to be stuck not engaging fully in each day because I am attached to the idea that I must care for my mother.  My mother in her wheel chair seemed unable to enjoy each day either.  I was unaware of Michael’s nearby presence because he was in engaged in life.  There is also the idea that I’m stuck in the past possibly morning the past.  I can’t see love in today.

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Post It Ruben

I woke up briefly in the middle of the night to roll over half asleep and still dreaming,  I got comfy in my new position.  I then saw a group of post-it notes fly in front of me as if on a cloths line.  The post-its dangled forcefully in front of me as if to imply, THIS IS IMPORTANT.  As I examine the writing i notice the writing is in cursive in a faint baby blue color.  I can barely make out what it says.  Knowing I won’t be able to translate it literally since I am never really successful in reading things in dreams,  I take in the note in it’s entirety allowing myself to feel the writing. I imagine myself as the writer and what i felt at the time the note was written.  What message do I want to tell myself right now?  Still awake in real life, I think to myself, “you better grab your voice recorder under my pillow and try to record what is on the note..  But my tired eyes would not allow the movement of my arms.

The scene changes and now in place of post-it notes I see faces on the line just like the post-it notes.  They are still images of a man.  I recognize the man.  It is me.  The picture is of me but it is not a me I recognize yet I know the person in the image to be me.  I am the man in the picture.

I then fell deep into my sleep no longer recalling anything that came after.

The minute I woke up in the morning I had the thought, “that was an important dream that must be noted.”  I struggled to reflect for a moment what was so important to remember.  I thought you’ll never remember since I knew it occurred in the middle of the night and I was doubtful I had recorded anything on my voice recorder.  It then came rushing back.  I could see once again the post-it notes and the face of the man.

I found this image of anti-bullying post-it notes from Spring High School in Eugene Oregon.

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A Horse is a Horse, of Course

May 11, 2018

Last night’s dream I don’t recall very much.  What I do remember is seeing the same repeating patterns over and over and over again.  I find myself gazing at beautiful blue, grey and now black shadows.  The image is presented to me much like a filmstrip in a movie theater as the credits go past the screen but instead of words they are patterns of blue, grey and black.  I associate blue and grey with OB from previous dreams and here the dream has introduced black.  The grey is comprised of what looks like patterns of leaves.  As the patterns pass by from bottom to top they invoke feelings as if generated by bubbles of emotion coming up from within me and onto the screen of my mind.  I am flooded with wonderful feelings of joy.  I am relaxed and free.  I take notice of the dream and desire knowledge on how the images are constructed.  I am able to determine a repeating pattern.  At this point the pattern stabilizes and comes into focus as moon struck images. I’ve not seen moon struck images in many years.  I can see the shadow profile of a man kissing what appears to be a horse or camel on the cheek.  I can only see the shadow of the neck and head of the animal.  He kisses and pats the horse in a sign of love, appreciation and admiration.

I  suddenly realize there is a man standing in front of me.  He wears a shaved head and face with about what would amount to a 3 day stubble all over.  I can see the man’s eyes as he looks dead set at me.  I know or am told I am the man.  Yet why would I be without a beard?  For a long time in my dreams, I was not seeing any men’s faces with beards.  I always thought it strange considering I am a lover of beards why wouldn’t my dreams hold more bearded men. I remember after coming to the awareness of it my dreams began introducing bearded men or possibly I became more aware of them. It seems strange for me to be witnessing a shift to the past as my dreams once were with moon struck images.  I sense a time shift occurring.  

DREAM ENDS HERE.

Something magical happened on this day.  The fertility clinic is requiring my GC IM to have a consultation with a MFM doctor.  She told me today that her midwife referred her to someone who she then called and made an appointment.  His name is Dr. Christmas.   What a magical coincidence.  Because the calling I had last year to do Santa was so strong.  I had so many dreams and visions with Christmas themes.  Unfortunately I wasn’t journaling during this time.  I remember having this one vision where I saw three cartoon children playing in the snow on a hill.  They were playing tumbling rolling down the hill.  As the tumbled down a windy path toward where I was the last tumble before they popped their heads up when they came up out of the snow they each had a white full Christmas beard and they all looked just like me when I was a kid.  It was so cute it just melted my heart.

I remember one dream where my bed was a sleigh ( I actually have a sleigh bed) and I was sweating under the covers and every time I moved or shifted my weight the humidity from under the sheets would rise and create snow all around us.  As we traveled on the bed my family and friends were with me on the sleigh we would make stops some in dangerous places where we had to hide under the covers.  It was hard to hide or go unnoticed because it kept snowing out of character.  Luckily the evil criminals never suspected anything believing instead that it was just an unusual anomaly.  I remember at the last stop i poked my head up from under the covers and father time with a long grey beard was sitting on the bed.

I rejected the messages that somehow I should be a Santa.  I also didn’t think I could be around children.  My self image of parenthood or Santa was so low.   Why would parents want a gay Santa?  As the holidays approached last year I began hearing the suggestion from so many friends I couldn’t hide anymore.  The universe wanted me to be a Santa.  I thought I could possibly visit nursing homes in costume (purposefully avoiding anything with children) I didn’t want to be rejected.  I ordered the costume online.  I ordered the best costume I could find with real leather boots and leather belt.  The boots literally arrived on Christmas eve.  I only wore the costume to some parties friends were having.  Although I did call some nursing home I didn’t have to courage to actually go.  Maybe this year with more time I’ll work on building on that courage.  I did get really good feedback from friends.

So I don’t know the full extent of this Christmas reference in the surrogacy process but I do know it’s all over the place.  It’s the universes intent.

 

 

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Penance Santa

I had a dream that I am asked to dress up as Santa.  It feels like this is an activity that was assigned to me for my penance and to make good my wrongs.  It is a playful group.  My Santa Suit is on but not fully in order as if I’m still getting ready.  People are playing and being jovial with me.  Teasing me about my well pressed and perfectly white T-shirts.  They call me the Mexican Santa and jokingly say “Mexicans have good wives to wash and  press and ready their shirts.”  As people are arriving I’m still not ready.  I grab my scissors and use the thumb and index finger loops to look through them like looking glasses.  I think the scissors are for cutting ribbons.

Dinah is there and it is revealed that she has always been in love with me, a true long lost love and I am to marry her.

I then hear on the loud speaker, “The concerns, there are no concerns right now.”

I woke up and grabbed my new voice recorder to record the dream.  When I was done recording it I closed my eyes and felt as if I was in an in between realm.  I could see blue clouds all around me that I can reach out and touch.  I then became aware that I can replay a dream. I therefore thought it a good opportunity to ask a question.  I asked for the meaning of the Green Man’s eyes.  Why were they so endearing and significant.  Why was my  focus drawn to the eye lashes.  I then hear the response, “because they are your eyes.”  I then asked why was the upper body of the Green Man visible to me yet the lower part was not visible yet I knew exactly how he was dressed I knew the khaki green long cut off shorts he wore with his earthy shoes. I was then told it had to do with his knees.

The answers are simple and straight forward yet they seem to provide no clarity on my question leaving it to me to figure out.  Like riddles.  Yet they are complete in providing the answer.  It’s a language of symbols and impressions that speak volumes more than the written or spoken word.  Answers that can only be understood by the heart and soul.

 

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Santa’s Paradox

Apr 04, 2018,

So last night I had a dream that I couldn’t remember yet here it is.  My alarm rang and I knew I had at least one snooze before I had to get up out of bed.  I also had to pee and I know you can’t fully enjoy a snooze while having to pee at the same time.  As I turned to lift the covers there beside my bed was a man, a green man.  I paused for a moment to look at his eyes and the green fur that covered his face.  His eye lashes gently opened and closed. As I rolled out of bed my knee hit his knee, I thought, “How could that be?”  Upon lifting my sheets there was a pillow beside my knee.  How clever for him to have placed  a prop.  So I ran along to the bathroom.  As I stood there I remembered vividly what I had been dreaming.  Repeating it over and over in my head so as to not forget.  With time constraints, I decide that would be the manner in which I would remember the dream.  I flushed and returned to bed where the green man still sat. I carefully slipped back into bed.  10 minutes later the alarm rang for a second time.  I looked over to find the green man had gone and with him the entire memory of the dream.

I thought it a great opportunity to start adding my book to my blog since I didn’t have a dream to journal.   Its a lot of work to keep up with my dreams so it is nice to have a day here and there to make them presentable.  My intention was to publish my book “In the Course of a Dream, Emmanuel for Love”  in its entirety on my blog to make it easy for me to search key words and simply to make it publicly available.  I had a little time before work so I turned on the TV for background noise and tuned to my favorite shows on Amazon.    I started watching an Amazon recommended program just for me, “New Energy Series, Free Energy – The Race to Zero Point”.  I remember there was a dream in my past where Zero Point had come up in the book back when I knew nothing about Zero Point.  Having the PDF of my book loaded and handy on my computer I searched for Zero Point and here is where the magic began to unfold.

Now I haven’t looked at my book in a long long time.  I also knew there was a purpose in my having written the book even if it was to merely guide my life.  I somehow know the book and dreams are a key part to fulfilling my mission.  So I took a moment to reacquaint myself with it.  I paused to take in the title page, the copywrite page and then the inscription which reads:

Spirituality is a treasure
to live for all humanity,
to overcome a notion,
in a time when spirits rejoice.

I then searched for the reference to Zero Point and was taken to:

A Visit with Santa Claus

I am in a Harry Potter stadium where I am trying to find my way back home.  I go flying and flying on my magic carpet, trying to find my resting place.  The people who live in this area travel on bicycles that fly through the air.  They simply fly.  I feel like I am on Crown Hill where I used to live as a kid.  I try to go back to my childhood house but the scenery and hillsides look different.  I am slightly disoriented.  I land my magic carpet on a hillside and walk along the front yard of a house, not knowing where I am or how to get home.  It is about four in the morning, and it is still dark outside.  The man of the house is standing near an arched trellis with his two dogs.  I tell him that I am lost and disoriented.  I ask him if he could please show me the way out and point me in the direction of my birthplace. 

He takes my hand under his arm and walks me under the archway and through a door.  He opens the door and walks me across the threshold to the other side and says, “There you are.” Looking around there is nothing but a dense fog and clouds. Fearing he might leave me here and close the door behind me, I grab tight onto his arm and ask him to please guide me and tell me in which direction I should head. With all the clouds here, I would never be able to find my way back home.  He then says, “You can go this way or you can go that way,” as he points in opposite directions. Unsatisfied with his answer, I cling to his arm.  He then says, “My son, no matter where you go, you pull the universe with you. You are home.” 

As he says those last three words, his face begins to transform before my eyes.  In his face is the face of every human being that has ever lived.  With that, I realize who this man is and I become lucid.  This is the Face of God.  Knowing I need to take in the fullness of this moment, I pause in thought to stare at the fullness with which he holds humanity in his countenance.  He now has the look of Santa Claus, with spongy curly white hair, a white beard and rosy red checks.  He is talking to me and I can see his lips move with his every word. 

I began to wake up, and as I awakened and my eyes began to open in real life, I could see this man standing at my bedside.  Now fully awake in the presence of Santa Claus, I could hear him saying something.  I quickly reached for my voice recorder so as not to miss any words that he might say.  I began to lose the signal, so I meditated as he patiently waited for me to ready my recorder and continue the dictation.  “Spirituality is a treasure to live for all humanity, to overcome a notion, to be heard in a time when spirits rejoice.”

He then began signaling me to come follow him.  I was not sure where he wanted me to go because he was standing in front of my closet door.  So I said, ”Okay, but first I’ve got to go to the bathroom, would you please wait here and I’ll be right back, then we can go wherever you would like me to walk with you.”

I got up out of bed and made a mental note of the time.  It was exactly 4:33 am on the digital clock in my bedroom.  I went to the bathroom to do my business and came back to bed where the grey-haired Santa Claus was still patiently waiting for my return.  I hopped back into bed with my voice recorder in hand ready to dictate whatever the old gentleman had to say.  He was telling me how to find my way home.  He said it didn’t really matter which direction you go, you pull the universe with you.  He then pulled out one of those birthday party whistles, the type that unravels when you blow air through it.  He said it has to do with “zero point” and the sound of the universe when you blow through the party whistle.  Each time he blew through the whistle the tube unraveled.  I could see a bright red light at the end of it.  From blowing his whistle, my bedroom began to fill with red light.  The red light emanated from the tip of the extended party whistle.

I gazed into it and saw a crystal lens much like the one I see when I meditate on my third eye.  He was basically telling me that he is the force that provides the propulsion energy flowing through the party whistle.

I think they were celebrating my arrival because he continued to blow through his party whistle over and over again.  Maybe they knew I was having a birthday party tonight.

His image slowly faded but in the red light that still filled my room I saw a vision of a little cartoon mole or chipmunk that had come to lead me down the road.  This creature was telling me to follow him.  At the end of the road, I could see a baby chick that had just hatched out of its egg.  In the sky was a bright orange sun and in the Heavens I could see a book whose pages were being blown by the wind.  The scene reminded me of the California Raisin commercials.  In the background, I could hear the words to that John Denver song, “Take Me Home, Country Roads.”

 

“Almost heaven, West Virginia,

Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River.

Life is old there, older than the trees,

Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze.

 

Country road, take me home

To the place I belong,

West Virginia, mountain momma,

Take me home, country road.[1]”

 

I am in complete and utter awe, or should I say utter aum, when I read my own dreams. Aum is said to be the sound of the universe.  I believe I have seen the face of God and have held his arm and asked him to guide me home.  In writing my dream and vision this morning of the grey-haired man that reminded me of Santa Claus, it all resonated within me.  At some level I felt God and the Universe were celebrating my birthday with me. Curiously, when I was writing my dream this morning and got to the part that reminded me of the California Raisins, my phone rang once and stopped. I paused for a second to see if caller ID would tell me who was calling but it did not ring again. The phone rang just once and stopped.  It was not even long enough for caller ID to register.

I felt a wave of synchronicity flow though me and thought how peculiar.  I then remembered back to the dream where Jennifer (my angel) had given me a cell phone that had programmed in it her number. She had instructed me to use it anytime I needed her.  Was this an encoded message from the universe?

Have you ever told a person, “If you want me to pick up the phone, send me a signal by letting the phone ring once, then hang up and wait a second and then call back and I’ll know it’s you calling me?”

I resumed writing down my dream and as my pinky finger hit the final ‘a’ in the word California, the phone rang again.  I paused to look over at the caller ID.  Believe it or not it was an out-of-state call.  The display on the caller ID read, “California.”  A mere coincidence to some, but for me it was my confirmation, which the universe always provides to let me know that I am on the right track and can trust in the messages from spirit that I am receiving.  God is so incredibly wonderful.  I love God with all my heart, mind and soul.

~~~~

I found it eerily interesting that today all the chimes that are ringing in heaven with synchronicity drew me to this dream because this dream is the heart and soul of the book.  I didn’t remember it being that now but i did use this as the inscription for the book so it must say something about the importance of this dream.  I never really understood the words of the inscription I simply knew it was important and I’ll confess I still don’t know the importance except for a glimmer of something that came through today.

Second this last year has been all about Santa Clause.  This will need further explaining which I can’t do here.  Suffice to say the topic was so pressing on me that I bought a Santa suit around Thanksgiving.  I knew I had to dress up as Santa for some reason.  I procrastinated till the last minute to order everything because the good gay boy that I am it had to be flawless.  I ordered really nice boots, a genuine leather belt,  the whole works.  The boots arrived literally the day before Christmas.  More on Santa later.  So there is something else I must tell you which I’ve been keeping to myself.  I am in the process of having a baby.  This too is a long story that needs a lot of explaining.  Between my coming around to having the desire to have a baby and the Santa suits I could probably write a book.  It feels very important to me so I need to write about it so I can later remember the details.

Moving on….so I am at the stage of being matched with a surrogate.  I have an agent.  I have names picked out the fertilization has been done and things are presently on ice meaning I have one frozen embryo.  So yesterday I messaged my agent to ask for an update on the surrogate and she indicated that the surrogate she had in mind previously has not been responsive to her messages.  Major bummer but she did say that she had others who could possibly work but she needed more time.

Going back to the Green Man, I am waiting to  hear the chimes of synchronicity when I begin watching the the Zero Point program in the background when the man narrating starts talking about the baby’s arrival.  That immediately caught my ear.  He was referring to the advances in zero point energy as being in it’s infancy but he kept using the analogy almost so much as for me to feel he was talking to me.  Already we had the subject of Zero Point and the hidden importance of Santa Claus not to mention the inscription of the book and now the BABY!!.  Holy Moly I thought I must be going to get news about the surrogate.  I no sooner thought that when the alert popped up on my computer that I had a message from my agent.  She had someone for me.  She even included a few pictures of her and her family.  As I’m scrolling through the pictures the last picture was of the surrogate and her family she has 3 kids and her a very prominent GREEN MAN the Grinch.  It was a Christmas picture.  Here was a family dressed in Christmas colors sitting with the Grinch, yes a GreenMan.  I think the Grinch is probably the dad because he was not a fake Grinch he was real GreenMan.

OK … it doesn’t end there.  So I am reading her profile and one thing that concerned me about her is her age.  She is 41 or 42.  I’m thinking isn’t that too old to bear children.  So I quickly do a search online and come to this….

yada yada yada ….

So what about the notion of delaying childbirth until a maternal age of 45, 50 or older? 

From <http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/5244/delaying-childbearing-how-old-is-too-old>

 

The one word in the inscription I had the most problem understanding is the use of the word notion.  What did he mean by that? Did I miss interpret him.  Well the answer now is no obviously.  I have been struggling with the notion that I am too old to be a father.  I am 54 at present.  Now I’m researching this as it relates to the surrogates age and not mine but it applied to me as well as the surrogate.  Maybe the inscription is for me to overcome the notion that I am too old to be a dad and in doing so knowing that God and God alone has picked the perfect surrogate for me.   My surrogate is Godsend.  Dreams are multidimensional and ring true on many levels.  They always have wordplay in them.  If you take the time to connect the dots something magical happens.  The other dimensions come alive as your awareness grows.  This is part of my mission to share my experience with dreams.  This is my truth.  This is how it happened.  I know it is magic in my life maybe you can find magic in your life.

Anyways I digress because yes i kid you not….there is more.  So case closed…guided by my dreams I know God is telling me I must over come this notion and get on board whole heatedly.  It also tells me that I should not fear or worry about her age.  I’m in God’s hands.  We are in God’s hands.  Ok so I’m on board with the surrogate so I set up a meeting to discuss her with my agent.  During the call she tells me a little more about her.  She’s been a surrogate before.  Then she tells me the name of the last surrogate baby she delivered.  The name is one of the two names I picked for my baby.  I can’t give you the name but I can tell you I chose a boy name and a girl name both names are a variation on each other ie the masculine and the feminine  version much like Robert and Roberta or Don and Donna.  Can’t spill the beans here with the name.  My jaw literally hit the floor.  This surrogate has created space for my baby’s name.

So on a side note….I was so heart broken when some of the embroyos died and didn’t make it to blastocyst.  I had no idea of the numbers game with fertility.  I was also very conflicted about choosing a boy or a girl if i had the choice say for example I had 3 eggs 2 boy and a girl do you choose the boy or the girl.  Would the one resent me in the heavens for not picking them.  If you read back at my mermaid dream when I received the first news of the eggs not progressing.  I believe the mermaid came to foretell me the outcome.  So that further sealed the deal with me.

One last tidbit…the man narrating the program his last name was Bearden.  As you may already be aware I am a bear within the gay community.  My DVR is labeled Bearden.

Oh one more thing….so Debbie Downer Grinch came in to refute my claims of God inspiration and so I looked up the probability of the occurrence of words in the English language.  For instance what would be the probability of the word notion appearing given a single occurrence?  What is the probability of seeing the word Santa in a reference?  Come to find out Google can tell you this information. Santa has a 0.002%, Notion is a 0.005% and Baby is 0.006% and Grinch is 0.0000006544 which is about the likelihood of ZERO POINT.

 

Today magic is all around me.  Spirit dwells among me and as for the Holy Moly Mole one must have a little fun with it I suppose.

[1]               “Take Me Home, Country Roads,” John Denver, Bill Danoff and Taffy Nivert 1971