I'm An Indian Boy

Indian BoyI had a dream. I am at home visiting family for the holidays. My cousin Dieanna is there who I haven’t seen in years. We step out onto the porch late at night. I can see the moon lit sky and the bare tree branches. She offers me a Juanita bud, sparks the flame to light and passes it to me. She doesn’t know that I don’t smoke. I feel I shouldn’t reject her offering so I take it and pretend to inhale. As I exhale, the cool damp night creates the faux smoke.

We then go back inside. I’m worried that some of the smoke might have made it past my own barriers. I quickly make my way to the bathroom. Standing in front of the vanity it occurs to me that I’ve never seen my face in the mirror. I then have a second awakening. I must be dreaming. In anticipation of what I’m about to see, I slowly lift my eyes and glance into the mirror. I can see my face clearly. I am an Indian boy with dark almond skin around the age of 17. My hair is thick jet black. My eyes lids have a subtle shade of blue. I comb through my hair with my fingers and reveal a thin red bandana across my forehead that was hidden underneath my hair. I look deeply into my eyes taking fingers as I caress my eyelids removing some of the blue shade. I’m an Indian Boy.

I turn around and leave the restroom. My cousin is waiting for me with a peace offering. She hands me a croissant and says, Eat!

The Death of Physical Desire

Deathast night I had a dream where I am sitting with my family huddled around a small heater that barely produced enough heat for them.  They asked if I could possibly give them a new heater.  Of course, I told them. You can have anything you need.  I materialize a bigger heater for them enough to heat the space in which we were huddled.  Without anyone saying anything to me, I am suddenly aware of the death of my father.  I immediately stand up.  He died while crossing the street.  I observe that no one is saddened by his death not even my mother.  Everyone has gracefully come to terms with his death. 


I turn away to do my own inner reflection.  Within me I can see the ground upon which his body lay.  Going back in time I re-live his last breath.  “No, you have to be kidding,” he says to himself inwardly.  He looks up and points to the sky and smiles.  He is experiencing a vision.  “They have come for me,” he says; those where his last words. 


I now understood why everyone had gracefully accepted his death.  In his death he received everything he had been searching for.  


As my own inner reflection faded within the dream I began to awaken.  Lying in bed I came to full awareness.  Above my bed was floating the image of my father.  Instinctively, I reached out to grab his ethereal form to pull him toward me.  My left hand went straight for his heart like an arrow released from the bow of my heart.  I grabbed hold of him capturing his heart in the palm of my hand.  I could see his final expression as he surrendered his life before my eyes.  His image slowly faded.  I opened my hand and there in the palm of my hand was a handful of the etheric substance of his being.  It was hunter green in color and ran down the palm of my hand and fingers.  I held up my hand to the dawn of the morning light shining through my bedroom window.  Its consistency was dense yet still transparent.  My palm was completely green.  Like tiny fiber filaments angel hair of some sort; it clung to my hand forming a web between my fingers that obscured the light. I compared both palms.  One was clearly green while the other was my normal skin tone. 


I placed my palm on my heart.  Could my father have really died?  I’d have to call home first thing in the morning.  Somehow I knew this wasn’t about my real father but more about what my father represented.  My father represents my struggle with addiction and my desire for ultimate truth.  Death is a liberation from bondage; a bondage to my physical desire.  Was I now free from bondage?  I then remembered that last night as I began my meditation I tried to visualize the moment in which I came into existence.  I wanted to know why I had decided to come into physical form.  What was my desire?  What was my purpose for coming here?  What did I want to accomplish? 


OstrichI decided to meditate and see if I could glean anything more from this dream vision.  As I meditated, I began to see tree people. These trees were moonstruck; solid black shadows against a white backdrop.  They looked like palm trees with ostrich feet.  There were about 7 of them of varying heights.  They did a two step dance of sorts to let me know they were happy with the outcome.  


My alarm sounded.  I quickly hit the snooze button and returned to my meditation.  Seeing that I had returned, the ostrich’s regrouped and returned to their tree dance.  Clarity sharpened as they came in closer into view. The showed me there feet and how they walked.  Still moonstruck all I could see was the outline of their shadow.  My alarm sounded a second time.  It was time to awaken.


What does is all mean, I’m really not sure but I know as I live it and hold onto it more will be revealed. I’m exactly where I need to be.

Alien Nation

Alien NationIn last night’s dream, my mother was pregnant.  At the time of labor I see her assisting the baby through the birth canal.  In the end, the baby comes out unborn in a bubble along with the placenta.  I tell my mother that the birth sack must be broken to allow the child life.  I’m asking those around to please call a doctor so that we can be told what to do. The doctor then confirms that the sack must be broken.  I quickly break open the sack.  Within the sack is only the head and neck (a very long one) of the infant child.  It is an alien child.  Not knowing what aliens look like when they are born I decide to pat it a couple times on the back of the neck to encourage it to move.  It does not move nor does it open its eyes.  I am fearing it might be dead.  I want it to live.  I want the curiosity of alien child. A part of me wants to know if this is a real child.  “Is this a real child?”  I run my fingers along the back of its head and down its neck.  I feel.  I can feel the sensation of its leather like skin against mine.  This triggers my awakening.  I slowly gain consciousness with the child gaining consciousness along with me. 


In awe…I laid there in my bed trying not to loose this state of consciousness.  I want to know what happens to the child.  I began meditating.  I then saw upon a black canvas, blue maroon light.  It was a scene from a city at night.  I could see people and cars running in chaos.  The sky was falling.  Large pieces of debris were coming down upon the people. Large birds as big as a house were flying around.  I then saw a white disc run across the night sky.  The vision ended there. 


When I got to work the word that stuck in my mind was alienation.  I looked up the exact definition of the work in Merriam-Webster’s dictionary.


Main Entry:


1 : a withdrawing or separation of a person or a person’s affections from an object or position of former attachment : estrangement <alienation…from the values of one’s society and family — S. L. Halleck> 2 : a conveyance of property to another


I then went to Wikipedia and looked up Alien Nation.  I was not too surprised to find a movie by that name for which I followed the link.  What did surprise me was the promotional poster for the movie.  It looked exactly like my vision.  Needless to say, I went online to my blockbuster account to order the movie.  I had never heard of this movie before today but I assume there is something here for me to discover.  Another piece of a very large puzzle.