Santa’s Paradox

Apr 04, 2018,

So last night I had a dream that I couldn’t remember yet here it is.  My alarm rang and I knew I had at least one snooze before I had to get up out of bed.  I also had to pee and I know you can’t fully enjoy a snooze while having to pee at the same time.  As I turned to lift the covers there beside my bed was a man, a green man.  I paused for a moment to look at his eyes and the green fur that covered his face.  His eye lashes gently opened and closed. As I rolled out of bed my knee hit his knee, I thought, “How could that be?”  Upon lifting my sheets there was a pillow beside my knee.  How clever for him to have placed  a prop.  So I ran along to the bathroom.  As I stood there I remembered vividly what I had been dreaming.  Repeating it over and over in my head so as to not forget.  With time constraints, I decide that would be the manner in which I would remember the dream.  I flushed and returned to bed where the green man still sat. I carefully slipped back into bed.  10 minutes later the alarm rang for a second time.  I looked over to find the green man had gone and with him the entire memory of the dream.

I thought it a great opportunity to start adding my book to my blog since I didn’t have a dream to journal.   Its a lot of work to keep up with my dreams so it is nice to have a day here and there to make them presentable.  My intention was to publish my book “In the Course of a Dream, Emmanuel for Love”  in its entirety on my blog to make it easy for me to search key words and simply to make it publicly available.  I had a little time before work so I turned on the TV for background noise and tuned to my favorite shows on Amazon.    I started watching an Amazon recommended program just for me, “New Energy Series, Free Energy – The Race to Zero Point”.  I remember there was a dream in my past where Zero Point had come up in the book back when I knew nothing about Zero Point.  Having the PDF of my book loaded and handy on my computer I searched for Zero Point and here is where the magic began to unfold.

Now I haven’t looked at my book in a long long time.  I also knew there was a purpose in my having written the book even if it was to merely guide my life.  I somehow know the book and dreams are a key part to fulfilling my mission.  So I took a moment to reacquaint myself with it.  I paused to take in the title page, the copywrite page and then the inscription which reads:

Spirituality is a treasure
to live for all humanity,
to overcome a notion,
in a time when spirits rejoice.

I then searched for the reference to Zero Point and was taken to:

A Visit with Santa Claus

I am in a Harry Potter stadium where I am trying to find my way back home.  I go flying and flying on my magic carpet, trying to find my resting place.  The people who live in this area travel on bicycles that fly through the air.  They simply fly.  I feel like I am on Crown Hill where I used to live as a kid.  I try to go back to my childhood house but the scenery and hillsides look different.  I am slightly disoriented.  I land my magic carpet on a hillside and walk along the front yard of a house, not knowing where I am or how to get home.  It is about four in the morning, and it is still dark outside.  The man of the house is standing near an arched trellis with his two dogs.  I tell him that I am lost and disoriented.  I ask him if he could please show me the way out and point me in the direction of my birthplace. 

He takes my hand under his arm and walks me under the archway and through a door.  He opens the door and walks me across the threshold to the other side and says, “There you are.” Looking around there is nothing but a dense fog and clouds. Fearing he might leave me here and close the door behind me, I grab tight onto his arm and ask him to please guide me and tell me in which direction I should head. With all the clouds here, I would never be able to find my way back home.  He then says, “You can go this way or you can go that way,” as he points in opposite directions. Unsatisfied with his answer, I cling to his arm.  He then says, “My son, no matter where you go, you pull the universe with you. You are home.” 

As he says those last three words, his face begins to transform before my eyes.  In his face is the face of every human being that has ever lived.  With that, I realize who this man is and I become lucid.  This is the Face of God.  Knowing I need to take in the fullness of this moment, I pause in thought to stare at the fullness with which he holds humanity in his countenance.  He now has the look of Santa Claus, with spongy curly white hair, a white beard and rosy red checks.  He is talking to me and I can see his lips move with his every word. 

I began to wake up, and as I awakened and my eyes began to open in real life, I could see this man standing at my bedside.  Now fully awake in the presence of Santa Claus, I could hear him saying something.  I quickly reached for my voice recorder so as not to miss any words that he might say.  I began to lose the signal, so I meditated as he patiently waited for me to ready my recorder and continue the dictation.  “Spirituality is a treasure to live for all humanity, to overcome a notion, to be heard in a time when spirits rejoice.”

He then began signaling me to come follow him.  I was not sure where he wanted me to go because he was standing in front of my closet door.  So I said, ”Okay, but first I’ve got to go to the bathroom, would you please wait here and I’ll be right back, then we can go wherever you would like me to walk with you.”

I got up out of bed and made a mental note of the time.  It was exactly 4:33 am on the digital clock in my bedroom.  I went to the bathroom to do my business and came back to bed where the grey-haired Santa Claus was still patiently waiting for my return.  I hopped back into bed with my voice recorder in hand ready to dictate whatever the old gentleman had to say.  He was telling me how to find my way home.  He said it didn’t really matter which direction you go, you pull the universe with you.  He then pulled out one of those birthday party whistles, the type that unravels when you blow air through it.  He said it has to do with “zero point” and the sound of the universe when you blow through the party whistle.  Each time he blew through the whistle the tube unraveled.  I could see a bright red light at the end of it.  From blowing his whistle, my bedroom began to fill with red light.  The red light emanated from the tip of the extended party whistle.

I gazed into it and saw a crystal lens much like the one I see when I meditate on my third eye.  He was basically telling me that he is the force that provides the propulsion energy flowing through the party whistle.

I think they were celebrating my arrival because he continued to blow through his party whistle over and over again.  Maybe they knew I was having a birthday party tonight.

His image slowly faded but in the red light that still filled my room I saw a vision of a little cartoon mole or chipmunk that had come to lead me down the road.  This creature was telling me to follow him.  At the end of the road, I could see a baby chick that had just hatched out of its egg.  In the sky was a bright orange sun and in the Heavens I could see a book whose pages were being blown by the wind.  The scene reminded me of the California Raisin commercials.  In the background, I could hear the words to that John Denver song, “Take Me Home, Country Roads.”

 

“Almost heaven, West Virginia,

Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River.

Life is old there, older than the trees,

Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze.

 

Country road, take me home

To the place I belong,

West Virginia, mountain momma,

Take me home, country road.[1]

 

I am in complete and utter awe, or should I say utter aum, when I read my own dreams. Aum is said to be the sound of the universe.  I believe I have seen the face of God and have held his arm and asked him to guide me home.  In writing my dream and vision this morning of the grey-haired man that reminded me of Santa Claus, it all resonated within me.  At some level I felt God and the Universe were celebrating my birthday with me. Curiously, when I was writing my dream this morning and got to the part that reminded me of the California Raisins, my phone rang once and stopped. I paused for a second to see if caller ID would tell me who was calling but it did not ring again. The phone rang just once and stopped.  It was not even long enough for caller ID to register.

I felt a wave of synchronicity flow though me and thought how peculiar.  I then remembered back to the dream where Jennifer (my angel) had given me a cell phone that had programmed in it her number. She had instructed me to use it anytime I needed her.  Was this an encoded message from the universe?

Have you ever told a person, “If you want me to pick up the phone, send me a signal by letting the phone ring once, then hang up and wait a second and then call back and I’ll know it’s you calling me?”

I resumed writing down my dream and as my pinky finger hit the final ‘a’ in the word California, the phone rang again.  I paused to look over at the caller ID.  Believe it or not it was an out-of-state call.  The display on the caller ID read, “California.”  A mere coincidence to some, but for me it was my confirmation, which the universe always provides to let me know that I am on the right track and can trust in the messages from spirit that I am receiving.  God is so incredibly wonderful.  I love God with all my heart, mind and soul.

~~~~

I found it eerily interesting that today all the chimes that are ringing in heaven with synchronicity drew me to this dream because this dream is the heart and soul of the book.  I didn’t remember it being that now but i did use this as the inscription for the book so it must say something about the importance of this dream.  I never really understood the words of the inscription I simply knew it was important and I’ll confess I still don’t know the importance except for a glimmer of something that came through today.

Second this last year has been all about Santa Clause.  This will need further explaining which I can’t do here.  Suffice to say the topic was so pressing on me that I bought a Santa suit around Thanksgiving.  I knew I had to dress up as Santa for some reason.  I procrastinated till the last minute to order everything because the good gay boy that I am it had to be flawless.  I ordered really nice boots, a genuine leather belt,  the whole works.  The boots arrived literally the day before Christmas.  More on Santa later.  So there is something else I must tell you which I’ve been keeping to myself.  I am in the process of having a baby.  This too is a long story that needs a lot of explaining.  Between my coming around to having the desire to have a baby and the Santa suits I could probably write a book.  It feels very important to me so I need to write about it so I can later remember the details.

Moving on….so I am at the stage of being matched with a surrogate.  I have an agent.  I have names picked out the fertilization has been done and things are presently on ice meaning I have one frozen embryo.  So yesterday I messaged my agent to ask for an update on the surrogate and she indicated that the surrogate she had in mind previously has not been responsive to her messages.  Major bummer but she did say that she had others who could possibly work but she needed more time.

Going back to the Green Man, I am waiting to  hear the chimes of synchronicity when I begin watching the the Zero Point program in the background when the man narrating starts talking about the baby’s arrival.  That immediately caught my ear.  He was referring to the advances in zero point energy as being in it’s infancy but he kept using the analogy almost so much as for me to feel he was talking to me.  Already we had the subject of Zero Point and the hidden importance of Santa Claus not to mention the inscription of the book and now the BABY!!.  Holy Moly I thought I must be going to get news about the surrogate.  I no sooner thought that when the alert popped up on my computer that I had a message from my agent.  She had someone for me.  She even included a few pictures of her and her family.  As I’m scrolling through the pictures the last picture was of the surrogate and her family she has 3 kids and her a very prominent GREEN MAN the Grinch.  It was a Christmas picture.  Here was a family dressed in Christmas colors sitting with the Grinch, yes a GreenMan.  I think the Grinch is probably the dad because he was not a fake Grinch he was real GreenMan.

OK … it doesn’t end there.  So I am reading her profile and one thing that concerned me about her is her age.  She is 41 or 42.  I’m thinking isn’t that too old to bear children.  So I quickly do a search online and come to this….

yada yada yada ….

So what about the notion of delaying childbirth until a maternal age of 45, 50 or older? 

From <http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/5244/delaying-childbearing-how-old-is-too-old>

 

The one word in the inscription I had the most problem understanding is the use of the word notion.  What did he mean by that? Did I miss interpret him.  Well the answer now is no obviously.  I have been struggling with the notion that I am too old to be a father.  I am 54 at present.  Now I’m researching this as it relates to the surrogates age and not mine but it applied to me as well as the surrogate.  Maybe the inscription is for me to overcome the notion that I am too old to be a dad and in doing so knowing that God and God alone has picked the perfect surrogate for me.   My surrogate is Godsend.  Dreams are multidimensional and ring true on many levels.  They always have wordplay in them.  If you take the time to connect the dots something magical happens.  The other dimensions come alive as your awareness grows.  This is part of my mission to share my experience with dreams.  This is my truth.  This is how it happened.  I know it is magic in my life maybe you can find magic in your life.

Anyways I digress because yes i kid you not….there is more.  So case closed…guided by my dreams I know God is telling me I must over come this notion and get on board whole heatedly.  It also tells me that I should not fear or worry about her age.  I’m in God’s hands.  We are in God’s hands.  Ok so I’m on board with the surrogate so I set up a meeting to discuss her with my agent.  During the call she tells me a little more about her.  She’s been a surrogate before.  Then she tells me the name of the last surrogate baby she delivered.  The name is one of the two names I picked for my baby.  I can’t give you the name but I can tell you I chose a boy name and a girl name both names are a variation on each other ie the masculine and the feminine  version much like Robert and Roberta or Don and Donna.  Can’t spill the beans here with the name.  My jaw literally hit the floor.  This surrogate has created space for my baby’s name.

So on a side note….I was so heart broken when some of the embroyos died and didn’t make it to blastocyst.  I had no idea of the numbers game with fertility.  I was also very conflicted about choosing a boy or a girl if i had the choice say for example I had 3 eggs 2 boy and a girl do you choose the boy or the girl.  Would the one resent me in the heavens for not picking them.  If you read back at my mermaid dream when I received the first news of the eggs not progressing.  I believe the mermaid came to foretell me the outcome.  So that further sealed the deal with me.

One last tidbit…the man narrating the program his last name was Bearden.  As you may already be aware I am a bear within the gay community.  My DVR is labeled Bearden.

Oh one more thing….so Debbie Downer Grinch came in to refute my claims of God inspiration and so I looked up the probability of the occurrence of words in the English language.  For instance what would be the probability of the word notion appearing given a single occurrence?  What is the probability of seeing the word Santa in a reference?  Come to find out Google can tell you this information. Santa has a 0.002%, Notion is a 0.005% and Baby is 0.006% and Grinch is 0.0000006544 which is about the likelihood of ZERO POINT.

 

Today magic is all around me.  Spirit dwells among me and as for the Holy Moly Mole one must have a little fun with it I suppose.

[1]               “Take Me Home, Country Roads,” John Denver, Bill Danoff and Taffy Nivert 1971