Ruben Bailey

I had a dream where I am at work.  As in real life I have a shared office with two other co-workers.  In our office space there are over head speakers with music playing.  The music is so loud that it is getting on my nerves.  I look for the control pad to regulate the sound level but I can’t remember where the control pad is.  I also can’t remember who our administrative assistant is. 

I finally send a broadcast message out to everyone letting them know that I am annoyed by the sound but no one in the office can remember where the control pad is.  To compensate for this issue I’m told that I will be given a private office space with no over head speakers.  The new office space is much nicer and private with windows and a frosted glass door. 

I begin moving my belongings and notice that the previous occupant left some of his belongings behind namely two leather belts and a wallet.  Both belts are too big for me but the wallet is perfect.  Not only that the wallet has a wad of cash still in it.  What a find I’m thinking to myself.  You always inherit the things left behind by the previous occupant.  The office space has been vacant for some time so I think I can keep the wallet and the money.  Before I have time to count the cash, I hear my co-worker coming down the hall to see my new space.  I quickly hide the wallet under a pair of jeans that are sitting on a bookshelf. 

My co-worker walks in and remarks how cheerful my new space is.  She also tells me that she is very content with her current office space.  She likes the view out her window.  I’m eager for her to leave so that I can know exactly how much money is in the wallet.

Last night I had a dream. This dream had a very cosmic ring to it. You could almost hear the chimes in the background. I am to meet with my life coach about my assignment on Earth. I arrive early for our meeting at his office but he is not present yet. On his desk I see my file with my name clearly written on it. As I sit down I reach over to take a peek at the contents of the file. The entire file is in French. At this moment the thoughts in my head shift to French. They are slow in coming. I feel awkward and very uneasy. I can no longer think in English. I realize I will be expected to conduct the rest of my life in French.

My coach then walks in the door. He welcomes me in French and begins a long series of instructions all in French regarding my next assignment. As if he can read my mind he acknowledges my awareness of the contents of my file, my new assignment and my unease. He says this entails a major shift in my life but one that he is confident I will easily readjust to. I am feeling totally unprepared and unable to express myself.

I had a dream where I am with a group of people who I work closely with.  I am complaining about the working conditions and trying to advocate for radical change.  I don’t think it should matter what people wear to work.  To test me and my conviction for change the women of the group begin coming to work half dressed without their underwear.  They are completely naked from the waist down. 

There is a part of me that wants to accept the new conditions because it means a sense of freedom I have longed for yet there is another part of me who wants to look away.  How do you pretend to avoid looking at the beaver and not give away my level of discomfort?  To push my limits, more of the women start to come around me flagrantly expressing their beavers.  I become so uncomfortable I literally have to do my breathing exercise.  Can I withstand the new terms of conditions which I am wholly responsible to advocating.  Is this more than I bargained for?

I had a dream where I am attending the university with a bunch of my engineering student friends.  It is a university I attended previously because I am familiar with the location of all the classes and the names of the many buildings.  There is a great sense of camaraderie here among the guys.  There is a social group I belong to which is not part of the engineering curriculum but is geared toward developing one’s spiritual awareness.  We go off on an adventure along a river bank where we are instructed to catch the tiny little fish that live in the stream and eat them.  The fish are so tiny they are almost transparent and to my surprise they are incredibly tasty; a true delicacy.

Later when we return to classes I suspect something is different about me.  I am changed in some way from the inside. I decide to urinate and capture my urine in the trough where I can examine the urine to see what is inside me and maybe get an idea of what has changed.  The feeling is intuitive without knowing for sure I simply sense it.  In my urine I find the tiny fish I ate earlier in the day which are not dead but very much alive and thriving in my body.  They are multiplying and growing.  I can actually see them swimming in this pond that is my urine.

Scared … I run to tell one of my classmates and the professor.  Instead I run across my best friend Dinah.  I tell her what is happening to me.  She is incredulous and does not want to believe me.  Thinking I might have been imagining it, I go back to the trough where I captured my urine.  My urine is still there but it has begun to evaporate.  The fish are getting larger and their environment is getting smaller.  I suspect the fish are consuming the nutrients in my urine because they are now very large and no longer transparent.  They have given up their transparency for a beautiful silver coating. 

I know what I am seeing in this trough is a reflection of what is within me.  Fish must be growing in me. My dilemma is how do I get them out?  There is almost little  urine left for them to live in and feed on. 

A thought comes to my mind; how nice would it be to capture the fish and put them in my aquarium.  I then have a second thought; considering how prolific they are they would soon over run my tank.  As I reach down into the trough, one of the fish jumps on me in an attempt to escape his diminishing world.  This fish has the ability to suckle on me making it almost impossible for me to rid myself of it.  I’m distressed.  I want to be free of the fish inside me but I also want to ensure their safety.

I had a dream where I am living in a temporary location with my roommate Bryan.  Although the location where I’m living is temporary, it would seem that I am lying to myself and to others.  I have down scaled my living arrangement out of necessity and am somewhat embarrassed by this fact and I don’t want to admit it to people so I tell them that it is temporary.  I also desperately want a companion or partner to share my life with.  So I decide to take on two additional roommates, one who will occupy and share my living quarters during the day while I’m at work, a female, and another, a male, who will occupy the space during the night hours when I’m in bed.  I’m attracted to the male however he is engaged to be married to a woman.  He has moved here to marry his future wife but needs a place to stay until the wedding day.  It is such a convenient arrangement for the both of us.

I think to myself if he is sharing my bed and my space with me he will have time to get to know me before his wedding date and possibly fall in love with me and subsequently change his mind about marrying his fiancé.  The first night that he spends with me we sit like old friends discussing our lives, our past and our future ambitions. 

In the morning I leave for work.  My roommate Bryan has not been home so I have not had the opportunity to tell him of the new boarders I am hosting.  While waiting for the bus, I run into the female boarder.  She tells me that she is coming from watching the 8th grade marching band that plays along one of the streets in my neighborhood. 

In the evening when I get home from work I open the door to find my roommate angrily picking up the mess the night boarder has left.  I’m surprised myself that he has made such a mess and has also taken the liberty of rearranging the furniture.  I realized I probably should have discussed the change with him prior to agreeing to the arrangement.  As Bryan walks off with the bedding in his arms the night boarder comes through the door.  He tells me he just came from watching the 8th grade marching band.  I then realize that I am hosting both the bride and the groom.

Last night I had a dream where I am with my friend Dinah.  She is visiting me and I am showing her around the city.  There are spectacular views that I myself see as unimaginable and quite breathtaking.  Looking out on the vista, I call her attention to a point in our forward direction the home of my mother’s land.   My mother lives at the base of these great hills which are covered in lush green vegetation.  

When we return to my house there is a young man who is looking for me.  He is an old friend one I have not seen in a very long time.  I vaguely remember him from my past.  He is very different now.  He has the lower body of a horse.  I am casually talking to him ignoring the obvious oddity of his lower nature. I am captivated and amazed by his powerful lower body, his massive legs and thighs and the huge black testicles that have obviously been scorched by the sun and which hang at his hind.  I want to ask him how he developed such a massive form but I am not sure if it would be appropriate to ask such a question. 

We continue talking.  He is very expressive in his gestures and moves with much grace and ease.  Feeling more comfortable around him, I finally gather the courage to ask him about this power he possesses.  He answers me by turning to face me and shows me his soft underbelly, his groin and his penis.  This in contrast he says is my gentle nature.  He leaves himself open as if to invite me to examine him or possibly touch him.  I want to feel the difference but to do so would mean possibly placing my hand on his penis.  I pause there reluctant to advance.  I feel an awareness rise in me and I become lucid.  In a moment of awareness suspended in time, I know this as strange as it may seem holds an answer I seek and it is now or never.  I must probe the depths of my subconsciousness reach out and feel him.  I reach my hand out placing my palm upon his navel and running my hand down along his groin and in contact with the uncircumcized skin of his penis.  My jaw drops with an overwhelming feeling of euphoria.  I am breathless.  I awaken.

Upon waking up I was immediately drawn to his response.  Why did it lie in his groin?  Why did he refer to it as his gentle nature?  I focused on the word gentle. 

Gentle:  belonging to a family of high social station, chivalrous : honorable, distinguished

Gentle: of or relating to a gentleman

Gentleman: a man of noble or gentle birth b: a man belonging to the landed gentry c (1): a man who combines gentle birth or rank with chivalrous qualities (2): a man whose conduct conforms to a high standard of propriety or correct behavior d (1): a man of independent means who does not engage in any occupation or profession for gain (2): a man who does not engage in a menial occupation or in manual labor for gain

Dreams always enjoy a play on words so I looked at:

Gentile: a Christian as distinguished from a Jew

Genital: of, relating to, or being a sexual organ

Genital: of, relating to, or characterized by the stage of psychosexual development in psychoanalytic theory during which oral and anal impulses are subordinated to adaptive interpersonal mechanisms