Retracing Our Steps

Board game “Having Fun with Math & Science

September 20, 2018

I woke up feeling very happy this morning.  In my dream I am with someone I’ve met and have established a relationship with.  We have a great deal in common.  He likes games and we play games together.  We go on outings together and when we are apart we reunite when we are free.  In one scene we are separated because he has to address his responsibilities and I have to address my responsibilities but we have a plan to reconvene at a later point in the day.  During my time alone I gather the things I experience to later share with my partner.  It is a fairly new relationship so I am thinking about him all the time.  I am planning on sharing all my adventure with the groups I participate with.   When we do reconvene later in the day, we retrace our steps and share the details of our past.  He is excited and engaged.  He tells me we are recovering the past to which I say we are members in our lives.

~~~DREAM ENDS

I chose this image because my “Partner” likes to play games in the dream.  This image I found of a game board “Having Fun with Math & Science” I liked because of the different activities depicted on the board.  I imagine each experience in that area of the game would be something someone could share about.  It also has a path to follow as represented by the steps you take on the journey.

I Am Home

August 17, 2018

In last night I find myself on a train platform having arrived here.  I think I am in Palm Springs or New Orleans.  I am there with a couple people I know but not necessarily close friends.  One of those here is my ex Joe.  I’m not sure if I am with Joe or not I am wondering if I should be holding his hand or not.  Someone mentions there is a new resort that just opened up near the train station.  Walking by we look into the windows which reminds me of a convenience store.  I look in the windows and recognize the place as somewhere I’ve been before. The only difference now is they have revamped the reception area.  I don’t feel like going there.  Those in the group want to take a free tour of the new place. “I don’t want to do this,” I tell them and I proceed to sit on a park bench right next to the establishment.  It seems like a quiet area that has trees and shrubs.  It feels peaceful to sit here.  While I wait, I pull out my cell phone and notice it has changed.  It has new plug-ins that I recognize.  I know the functionality they provide before ever having seen them before.  I am surprised to see they are offering this type of controls and services on the phone.  There is a sense that these controls are cutting edge items from the future and should not be present in a phone yet.

After sitting there for a while I get tired of waiting and I don’t even know if I’m with him so I’m not sure why the hell I’m waiting.  I’m starting to get irritated.  I decide to call Joe on the phone.  I am looking at the dial pad but the numbers are mixed up.  The 2 is now a 1 and the 1 is now a 2.  I can’t see the remaining numbers to call.  Frustrated I begin walking to the train station to head back home.  One of the guys from the group of guys I was with comes out and begins following me.  I am so frustrated I turn and tell him.  Please leave me alone I don’t want you to walk with me.  Shunned he says behind taking a slightly different path to the station.  Once at the station the train arrives.  I realize I don’t yet have a ticket to board the train.  Knowing I don’t have a lot of time I have not other choice but to ask the guy I shunned to help me.  I ask him if he can direct me to where I can buy a ticket.  He point to a vending machine in the distance and says “Its only 10 franks which is less than the price of a beer.”

I try walking but my consciousness won’t budge.  I seem to be stuck in place.  I then try to fly but nothing is happening.  With no other recourse I look up at the sky and say, “Please dream take me home.”  My consciousness begins to move and immediately I woke up.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

Once awake I was puzzled why I woke up.  I just wanted to go to the vending machine for a ticket.  I didn’t want to “wake up”.   After that thought sank in I realized wait a minute….  I am home.

I felt very bad for being so rude to the person in the dream who wanted to walk with me.  I thought he was interested enough to want to walk with me why was I so rude?   Here I am wanting friends in my life and when they show up all be it in a dream I am rude to them.

Looking back at the dream it seems so odd for the guy to comment about the 10 franks being less than the price of a beer since first off we use dollars and second I don’t drink beer.  He also seems quite unaffected by me pushing him away.  Its as if he wanted to be nice to me.

You’re Majesty; The Queen

September 15, 2018

In last nights dream, I am in a village in a distant place with my dog Butters.  The village is a place of twin cities which sit along a river.  One side is a population of indigenous Indians like Mayans.  I can see their elaborate and the earth tone colors they wear and beautiful head dresses.  On the northern side is the City of Royals.  They are the crystalline people.  They have outfits made of shimmering particles.

Two women sit on thrones.  One is a grandmother and the other is the great grandmother.   The great grandmother is the furthers away and she sits upon a mount which oversees the City of Royals.

On the other bank of the river there is yet a third area separate from the twin cities where a giant monolith stands.  He stand 100 times taller than any man in the village.  He wears all dark grey silver color.  He is a monolith of granite yet he is animated and alive.  Some time passes before I realize he is standing across the river.  I spend this time visiting with the villagers freely passing between the northern side where the Royals live and the southern side where the villagers live.   I’ve spent time on both sides with them the entire time unaware of a divide.

I hear a voice ask, “Did you pay your respects to You’re Majesty the Queen?” I look around and for the first time witness the Monolith Man.  HUH? Who and what is this?  Who is he referring to as the Queen?  I assume he is referring the the great grandmother who would in essence be the queen.  I am now for the first time aware of the divide between the cities.  I recognize the distinction between the two cities.  I realize the two mothers are queens and they sit on the Royals side of the divide.  The Monolith insists for a second time, “Did you pay your respects to You’re Majesty the Queen?”  If this monolith has been standing here all this time he would be well aware I have visited and played with them for this entire time.  They are family to me.

Overwhelmed by his sheer size I feel obligated to go back to the City of Royals and pretend to satisfy his request.  With deep reluctance I travel back to the northern side where the Great Grandmother Queen sits.  I approach kneel before her and ask in a whisper, “Great Grandmother what’s up with your son?  Is he not paying attention?” Knowing she is regarded as nobility I seek her protection given my size in comparison to the Monolith.  I ask her,  “What should I do?”  To which she answers in a loving tone placing her hand on my head and combing my hair with her fingers,  “Well call me, You’re Majesty and Just go along with it.”  This angers me because it seems unjust after all she is my great grandmother and who is this man who orders me around.  To please the situation I whisper “You’re Majesty is that enough?”  Now with an overwhelming sense of impending defeat beckoning every fiber in my body to respond. I turn inward for a moment to summon a response for the Monolith.  In this moment of deep inner contemplation a rush of energy floods my body.  From the my feet upward, my body fills with the energy and I immediately take flight.  The rush is so great I am forced to temper the energy so as to not fly too high above and out of their sights.  I realize this seems to be an adequate source for power to use in response to the Monolith.

While in flight I take the opportunity to learn how to control flight.  I try different maneuvers.  I suspect I am somewhat lucid here because this seems to be an automatic response to flight some earthly programming I have inserted into the dream to test things pertaining to flight.  I notice some of the makeovers don’t respond as well as others.  As time passes I seem to be losing the ability of flight.  I try navigating to different places in the dream some with success some requiring a great deal of mental effort.  I wonder if the way to more effectively control the dream is not my intent to move toward objects but instead my intent to have the scenery move toward me.  Maybe my power is conserved by having everything else move around me in response to my desire while I remain still.  I look down and behind me and notice I am now sitting on a chair while things are in motion around me.

With this new found awareness, I return to the villagers.  As I approach from the skies I can see the surprise in their eyes as they cheer my return.  I can see them going about their business in their homes.  I am somehow in the mind of everyone here.  I seem to know all that is happening.  There is a feast where we eat and celebrate.  It is now time for me to head back home.  They offer me food to take back with me.  The only place to carry the food is in my suitcase which is not the best place to store food but I do it anyway.

Upon returning home I have a false awakening.  Where I believe I’m back home.  Except the family I am now a part of are Indians from India.  I bring out the food I have packed to share with them.  Their customs are different from mine.  Everyone eats of the food.  I suddenly realize I have traveled back home and forgot to bring Butters with me.  I enter a state of extreme panic like that of  loosing a child.  The dream must have known it needed to intervene to calm me down.   I then felt my dog move who was nestled comfortably between my legs on the bed.  I reached over and patted his head with an overwhelming sense of relief I returned to the dream now fully lucid.

I take advantage of my lucid state an asked the question,  “What gives with the divide.  I wish to understand the separation between the twin cities.”  I instantly found myself on the banks of the river looking at two distinct time windows much like a portrait of each city.  One millennia past and one today.    The one today the river is very over grown with flowers and wild grasses along it’s banks.  The one from past is pristine tranquil in its beauty yet dark and still.

Still wanting to understand more I find myself in the City of Royals.  This time the city is empty only I walk here among the ruins of this place.  I enter the school where I walk through it’s classrooms.  I hear the voices of children play yet no one is here with me.  I find an origami someone has left behind.  I begin to unfold it examining how it was constructed.  Fold by fold, I deconstruct the origami revealing an inner message.  It is a code of secrets.  In the lower right corner as I unfold the last piece of the paper I see a milky white head crowning through the crease in the page.  I pause knowing this is a reference to a baby.  I pause to look at the paper still not wanting to fully open it savoring the moment and trying to take in as much information as possible.  I look back at the writing.  It is not writing I consciously recognize yet I am intimately familiar with it’s message.  At some level I understand.  Deep within its creases I see the face of a woman.  She is talking to me yet I cannot hear her words but I can see her lips move.  I clearly understand the message.   “Its possible if you want it badly enough.”

 

~~~~DREAM ENDS

 

I chose to take the alternate spelling of the word you’re instead of your given my knowledge of dreams and the wordplay that happens in dreams.  Also given that each character in the dream is a reflection of me.  I assume the dream is telling me I am majesty, I am hewn from stone.  The dream I think is also telling me that I am the queen and ruler of my life.  I have motherly instincts.  I need to pay my own regards to myself and recognize and honor this part of me.

This dream is deep with meaning.  I found it interesting that when I approached the queen I didn’t acknowledge her as queen I went back to refer to her as grandmother and asked what was up with her son?  What made me assume the Monolith was her son?  How and why did I equate the monolith as her son?  and am I the monolith?  Am I the son?  Do I need to bring my self down a level and pay for what I want badly enough.  Funny how in so doing I found my energy.

Susan’s Venus Sperm Trap

September 14, 2018

In last night’s dream I find myself at an annual event given by my employer.  I seem to have traveled here because I have to carry on bags with me which I leave with the cafeteria staff to hold for me.  There is a plant next to where I leave my bags.  It looks like a venus fly trap with the exception that inside the trap the plant excretes sperm.  It is a rare delicacy much like caviar.  I sample the plant and like it so much I decide to re-pot it in a larger pot so that it can grow and more people can enjoy the fruit.

I see my friend Francisco who I haven’t seen in a long time.  I am a bit shocked with his weight.  He is emaciated and very thin.  I comment on his weight to which he simply says this is my desired weight.  Up close to him I notice I can see the tendons of his biceps which he is trying to hide under his shirt.  There is definitely something wrong with him that he simply does not want to admit.

The party progresses along and as it ends we are invited to take some food with us.  The food is going quickly.  I notice the take home plates are not well equipped for travel but I manage to prepare a plate for myself.  A man behind me it trying to reach under me to get some of the last servings.  My plate wet with food collapses onto his plate mixing my plate with his plate.  Not wanting to argue about which is mine and which is his I decide to simply get another plate.  There is not much food left so I take a desert plate and opt for some desert instead.  The kitchen places some left over hor-dourves on a lazy susan.   These are meat pastries.  I decide these are quite good to stock up on.  I take a few to sample them before filling my pastry dish with my to-go plate.

Again I see Francisco chumming up with my friend Stephen.  Odd I think to myself because they don’t really know each other.  Francisco is sitting on Stephens lap with his back to me.  Again I notice his very thin waist.  I then prepare to leave and grab one of my bags completely forgetting I had two bags when I arrived. I inadvertently leave my second bag behind.

Later when I realize I forgot one of my bags I return to the cafeteria where the I Venus Sperm Trap was standing.  All the bags are not gone.  The  sperm trap has a few dry white leaves where the sperm from the fruit has dribbled down the leaves.  I wonder how I am supposed to recover my lost and found item.  I return to the lazy susan and find my lost and found item on the lazy susan.  I am relieved to know I haven’t lost anything and thankful that they placed my bag somewhere where I can find it.

A School Of Fish To Love

September 13, 2018

In last nights dream I am with my 2nd partner Michael who is visiting me or passing through my space.  Its like he really doesn’t belong here and is somewhat intruding on my time.  One observation about him is that he is very very cute but that is apparently not enough to keep my interest or focus.  I try to visit with him on the side almost as if I’m multitasking not really having time to be with him.  A third person enters and says there are issues with the plumbing in my unit.  I’m told they have had to call the plumber to make repairs 3 times.  All three times were as a result of something Michael did.   Having discovered that Michael is “my guest” I am therefore responsible for the repairs and they can’t charge my maintenance contract because the damages were caused by someone other than me.

I don’t have time to focus on these issues because I have to attend a class with a guy who I am interested in.  Because I’m trying to do two things at once my party for the class becomes scattered and we therefor don’t end up sitting together.  I am disappointed because I want to sit with the cute guy who I’m interested in.  Now sitting alone I look at the class syllabus.  I can clearly see the writing on the pages of the syllabus.  I am trying to decide whether to  sit through the class or just get up now and leave.  It doesn’t seem like something I’d be interested in normally but I want to be a part of this group and the chance at meeting and developing a relationship with this guy.

I decide to remain in the class.  Once it starts we are told everyone has to wear blue and grey.  I feel wholly unprepared believing I am not following the dress code.  The cute guy comes over to me and he is obviously wearing blue and grey.  I look at myself and to my surprise I just happen to be wearing silk blue lapels, on a grey suit jacket and blue pants.  My tie is metalic grey.  The cute guy tells my “….but you’re tie isn’t grey” to which I answer yes it is.  I want to convince him of this fact because I want to remain in the class especially now that I have his attention.  I look at my tie a second time and realize the tie changes colors depending on the viewing angle.  From one angle it is grey/blue and from the other it is silver/gold.

The class progresses and at the end we all get ready to leave.  As I stand there saying good bye I realize we are all in water and there are fish swimming around me.  The fish are the fish from my aquarium in real life.  I recently had all my fish except 2 die from a disease in the tank.  I can see the last fish which was my favorite and the largest one swim past me.  It comes to rest in the guys hand.  I tell him to please not hurt the fish.

Archive Preservation

September 9, 2018

I don’t remember a lot from last night dream in part because I didn’t really want to be required to journal anything today.  I wanted a day free from the thought of having to write down my dream.  It wasn’t until I sat at my computer to do some regular work and discovered my external hard drive wasn’t working.   For some reason, the computer would not read my external drive.  That’s when I remembered my dream.

In the dream, I am leaving a gathering of people. This gathering is like the League of Nations.  We had long discussions about the state of affairs.  At the end of the meeting someone come up to me and hands me an SD Card containing all the file I need.  I look at the small disk and recognize it as an SD card I had misplaced and had been trying to recover for a long time.  She hands me the card and says take this with you.  I immediately know this is what I’ve been searching for.  It is a collection of my most personal and treasured things.

How coincidental that today I had problems with my hard disk.

Muddy Revival

September 8, 2018

Last night I had a very long and incredibly detailed dream.  In part this may be because I slept until noon because I’ve been down with a cold and trying to recover.  This gave me the opportunity to probe deeply into this night’s dream.  In the dream, I am at my niece Otiliia’s funeral.  I am there with my mom who is in a wheel chair.  My neice Otilia is named after my mom.  Right off the bat I am somewhat aware or dubious this can possibly be true because Otilia my niece is too young to die.  I simply accept the dream for what it is telling me. 

There are many funeral processions happening at the same time and since I’m not familiar with all the family members who may be present for the funeral I am unsure which party and procession we are supposed to be with.  My sister Grace gets in line at the reception where they are serving food.  Not wanting to go to the wrong line I sit and wait patiently with my mother.  Finally I decide to wonder over with my mom to see if we can find the correct reception party.  We stumble over one line that is clearly not our party.  Traversing with the wheelchair we are quite visibly intruding on their party. 

I finally find the line that is our family and it is very long.  My sister is standing in the middle of the line already able to get servings of food.  I think there must be a better way to serve all these people.  We stop where my sister is standing.  I can see her face clearly.  I am tempted to cut in the line where she is but I feel guilt and instead my mom and I go the the end of the line and wait.  

While at the end of the line I begin to ask myself how I got here.  I remember taking a metro here and I clearly remember the path I took.  I want to remember so I don’t get lost heading back home.  The steps and directions are clear in my mind.  I decide to look at my cell phone’s GPS to plot where I am.  In my mind I can see a map of my location but looking at my cell phone it is not the iphone X I have in real life it is a flip phone which doesn’t have GPS on it.   I’m curious about the functions of this flip phone so I begin to play with it studying its parts and how it works.

For a moment my attention is called back to the party where I see Maria my brother Paz’s wife who has a very thin waist.  I think to myself.  she must have lost weight because I don’t remember her being that thin.  My awareness then goes back to my concerns about my phone.  Again I look carefully at the phone.  The more I concentrate on the phone the bigger the phone gets until finally it is the size of a television but it seems to be broken because it has two disassembled pieces.  It occurs to me that maybe the two pieces are improperly positioned.  Head to toe, top to botttom there must be some rhyme or reason here.  I turn them over and am able to reassemble to two parts.  The two pieces fit like tongue and groove with each other with the now quite large keyboard remaining inside.  With the phone reassembled the phone becomes one within itself.

I try to figure out the phone in its new configuration.  I am playing with the screen and accidentally hit the panic mode.  The phone siren sounds off continuously like my car’s panic button. I can see the screen clearly which is quite foreign to me.  I’ve never seen a screen quite like this one.  I am finally able to cancel the alarm.   It then becomes apparent that in canceling the alarm the phone now seems to be responding to my thoughts as if it has sync’d up with my mind.  This awareness causes me a bit of confusion.  Wasn’t the iphone broken?  With that thought I can see my iPhone X in a distant place in perfect shape.  So I think OK that’s my perfect phone but there is still doubt in my mind with all the strange things that have been happening.  I question what is happening in the dream.

Now the phone in my hand is back to its small self.  Is this my real phone?  I look to the distant place and now see the phone in the distance place is broken.  It seems this phone has an affect on the distant phone they are somehow interconnected.  Now I’m looking at the broken phone with the knowledge of how to put it back together I fix the phone in the distance.   With the near and distant phones repaired I have the awareness that this is my dream phone which immediately triggers me to become lucid.  All the awareness of everything from this dream is in the present moment.  I start to wake up becoming aware that I am in my bed.  I gather my thoughts and recall what is important to me from this dream to bring into my waking life.

I faintly recall something about my partner.  Yet there was nothing about a partner in the dream.  The phone however had a partner.  I ask who is my partner?  In the distance I see the chest of a man.  The vision of his chest fills my entire field of vision.  I try to figure out whether this image is before me or in the phone because last I remember I was looking at the screen on the phone.  Am I in the phone?

The man before me is immense.  I want to see the face of the man.  Does this man have a beard like me?  The image begins to move.  He is a wild man.  A savage. I can now see the long wild lion like hair on his head and full beard.  The man also has twigs and leaves in his hair.  He is completely unkempt.  The image is a monotone color of brown black and slight shades of yellow.  I want to know more about this man, who he is. I also want to know the answers to the questions in the dream.  I don’t want to wake up without knowing my truth.

The image begins to move.  I see a river start to flow over his shoulders.  He appears to be standing in a creek.  There is mud flowing over him and becoming deeper and deeper.  It reminds me of those endurance events where the men crawl through mud.  I can see him struggling in the mud.  The mud gets deeper and deeper.  I notice the twigs in his hair have remained with him throughout his struggles.  I am captivated by this fact.  How could the twigs be part of this man.  He is now fully submerged in the mud.  The mud now becomes passive and tranquil.  I wonder for a moment what happened to the man when all of the sudden I see his twigs spring forth from the ground followed by his face.  Blue and lavender color begins pulsing from deep as leave and branches begin to emerge from his face.  Small wild flowers come into bloom.  His countenance remains forever present in the foliage.

I awake from the dream.

 

Doors Open

September 7, 2018

Last night I had a dream where I am visiting my mom.  She lives in a luxury high rise building.  Only the exterior of the building is luxurious because people in this place don’t spend much time inside their apartments.  They spend most of the time on their balconies and in the shared living spaces on the exterior of the building.  Visitors are allowed to freely visit the balconies and shared spaces adjacent the private units.  I am taking in the breathtaking view of the skyline.  There is a jogging track that corkscrews around the outside the building.  I am afraid of heights so I decide to stay near the pool.  There are many small pools scattered around the perimeter of the building so that each resident does not have to walk far to find a pool or vista to enjoy.  I walk around and visit several of the units.  The view outside each unit is spectacular.  There is one building in the distance which i recognize.  It is slightly hidden behind dense fog it is the World Trade Center.  I ask the person I’m with,  “Isn’t that the World Trade Center?”  The person with me answers,  “Why YES!” in disbelief not that it it the World Trade Center because the World Trade Center is gone but that I have the ability to see it.

I turn inward to visit with my mom in her unit.  She is counting coins which she has collected during her stay.  Apparently they have a casino in the building.  She tells me she doesn’t know how to play but every time she passes a table she places a coin down and walks away.  The casino has now tracked her down to bring her her winnings.  She has so many coins of all types of denominations including large coins of a very high value.  She is rich and doesn’t know it because she doesn’t understand the value of the coins.

My mom is in a wheelchair and I decide to sit with her and take in one of the views.  I notice the unit she is in is empty with absolutely no furnishings.  Again, people don’t spend much time in their quarters.  I notice the door handle to her unit is handicap accessible in that the door knob is a leaver and is positioned low to the ground.  The door knob keeps falling off when I try to use it.  I tell my mom, “I’m going to have to tell the maintenance man to fix it.”  My mom then says to me, “Why do you need to close the door?”

 

Rebuilding Love Lost Hospital

September 5, 2018

In last night’s dream I find myself standing outside an old abandoned building.  There is a man who stands with me.  He is the lone survivor and now is working to restore the building.  He tells me the story of the building.  He says it was a hospital at one time where many people were healed.  I can tell the building suffered a fire.   I ask him what happened to the patients in the building at the time of the fire.  He tells me the fire killed everyone except him.  I ask him if the building is now haunted.  He says it definitely is haunted.  The spirits of the dead still live here.  I ask is he is not afraid to work here to which he answers NO someone has to do the work.  I offer to help him.  I am with my dog Butters.  He then gives me a tour of the building to see what people were doing right before the fire.  I can see a couple making out in their car in the parking lot. There is a little boy who comes toward me and starts walking at my side.  I assume he wants to come along for the tour.  I place my palm on his head to let him know he is welcome on the tour.  I notice the moment my palm touches his hair on his head a wave of energy flows through me.  This energy lifts us both up off our feet.   I immediately have the ability of flight.  We float together to the higher floors of the hospital.

I am now lucid.  Knowing I have powers in the dream, I take a good look around me, at my surroundings to try to understand the mechanics of the dream and the correlation between the dream and my waking life.  I can see the fabric of the the dream vibrating with rainbow colors in which the dream constructs the scenes.  I think to myself this must be my aura or spirit as it’s light extends beyond my dream body.  I look around for Butters and discover he is now a young man.  I think his child name might need to be changed to reflect his new manhood.

Out Of Tune But On Key

August 3, 2018

I had a dream where one of my co-worker purchased a few condo unit through work.  Work owned a hotel, The Concordia which was later made available to employees to purchase units in the building at discounted prices.  The offering was only made to employees, vendors were excluded.  I was a vendor at the time and therefore was not aware of the offering.  I feel it is unfair since we worked side by side for so many years.  We walk through the unit.  I like the layout very much and feel I could live here comfortably in my retirement had I been offered something similar.

There is a communal area of the building where my co-worker has placed many pianos.  He sits at one of them and begins to play.  I can tell the piano is out of tune but he makes the keys sound good even considering it is out of tune.  He explains his success is all about the rhythm.