Ruben Bailey – Page 10 – Penny For My Thought ©

February 9, 2019

I Can Pray For Love

February 9, 2019

I wasn’t happy with last night’s dream so I wasn’t sure if I was going to journal it but I decided to do it anyway. In the dream, I am with my ex Joe down in Miami. We are going through the normal challenges of life. Days pass and we seem to get out of touch with each other until one day I realize I haven’t showered with him in a very long time. I have a longing within me for intimacy but I seem to simply be moving through life from one place to another unable to pause for a moment to enjoy it with anyone. The pain of loneliness strikes me today in a way that it hasn’t before so I pause to see if Joe has taken a shower already. When he passes by me, I can see his hair is combed and styled nicely and still looks wet. There is another guy “a friend” in our house who has been visiting for a long time. I notice he too has his hair nicely styled and looking wet. I ask Joe if they showered together, to which he replies, “Yes.”

I am angry at him for cheating on me and angry at myself for not having asked for what I want. I grab Joe by the neck and tell him this does not work for me. I tell him it is over. Our friend who is now presumably his boyfriend is now angry at me claiming stake to our home. He has installed microwave lights in the ceiling with the intent on slowly causing me to have cancer and die. I am clued in on his plot to destroy my life. They are simply waiting for the effects of the radiation to kill me so they can live out their lives.

There is not much I can do but I remember … there is one thing; I can pray. I open my palms up toward the radiant light coming from the ceiling and pray that it pass through me and reflect back justice on those who might want to cause harm to me. I believe justice with prevail. I remain standing unaffected by the cancer causing light. Joe and our friend are forced to leave and I remain in the house alone.

~~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

As in the dream sometime I feel cheated in life because I don’t have a relationship and I find myself alone. It also occurred to me that I can’t simply pray for justice i have to pray for the things that matter to me. I have to ask for what I want.

February 4, 2019

Hydra: Come Live On Our Planet

February 2, 2019

In last night’s dream I am applying for a new job along with a few other people. I am the first one hired on by the company and offered my choice of places to work. I choose my home as my location. Two others are also hired and they too choose from the remaining locations available. The 2nd person chooses to work from the business apartment and the 3rd is given an office space at the main headquarters.

I seem to be the lead and I go visit the 2nd person at his new luxury business apartment. Looking around the space, I realize this is where I used to live a long time ago. It is much bigger than I remember it to be. I feel a deep sense of connection to this place as I look around at the many rooms and courtyard. Number 2 is trying to decide which room in the home to make his bedroom. He has an iron bed with tall iron bed posts which he has positioned in the middle of the room. With such fond memories of this space, I am saddened that he has not made it his own yet and hasn’t completely settled in. He seems to still be living out of boxes.

He then receives a delivery at the door. It is a brand new brown fire truck along with many other items of value. The shipping manifest indicates these items are left overs from the previous occupant and he can simply take possession of them. They are now his to use as he pleases. Looking through the items, there is a letter which accompanies a Trust with $250,000 dollars in it. I am a bit saddened that I didn’t choose this space for myself. I could have been the lucky one to inherit all this wealth.

Our first project we need to undertake is sent to us. There is only one copy of the instructions. Given there are not sufficient copies for me to hand out to each team members, I am going to have to convey the instructions as needed. I open the document and read through the instructions. There are sections missing and also sections incorrectly ordered. I seem to be intimately familiar with the instructions even before I read them. I know exactly what is missing and what is out of order. It appears only I am qualified to do this job.

My alarm sounds and I get up to pee then returned to bed for a few minutes of precious snooze time. I immediately return to the dream. I and my team are getting ready to sit down and have coffee. I seem to be a bit envious of the good fortune of #2. I believe with all that money he has been lucky enough to receive he should treat us to coffee. I’m not even sure #2 realizes the value of what he has inherited. As I approach the counter, we walk past the fire truck. The paint on the truck looks brand new. It is a milky chocolate color with polished chrome accents. It is obvious the truck has great value. We continue on to the pastry shop walking through the courtyard. I now worry whether they will have the danishes I enjoy eating. To my surprise, they have the exact cream cheese danishes I love. We order our food and sit down to eat and discuss the instructions.

The instructions seem to be a manuscript for a movie about life on another planet. I can see the trailer of the movie playing before our eyes. The title says, “Come Live on Our Planet.” I then see a three headed dragon pass before the screen.

As the vision fades, I see one last person approach. The colors are muted monotone shades of forest green. He smiles at me as if to confirm, “Communication Received.” I look at his face for a moment to study his expression. He has a friendly and gentle face. His hair is thick and a bit messy. He is young in his mid to upper 20’s. I sense a deep connection to this man.

February 3, 2019

Faerie Godmother Caught On Tape

February 3, 2019

I had fair number of dreams last night where I was very much engaged with the elements of the dream but I can’t quite place my finger on what I was doing. The only thing I can remember is when I woke up to go to the bathroom while I was yet resisting the urge to pee, I had a vision where I can see what is a very magical scene. My awareness is at ground level looking up at a very tall figure elongated from the base to the waist line. The figure is surrounded by what looks like a blue shimmering faerie jelly. It is iridescent with glitter stars all over it. I struggle to look up at the entity. I can see up to it’s waist. Wanting to ascend higher, I relax and allow myself to float up along it’s base. I arrive at the upper body. Upon seeing the head I immediately have a flash of insight, I am seeing myself but what am I doing dressed as a Faerie Godmother? Her wings are infant sized just now growing and developing within the faerie jelly which surrounds her. Her upper body is disproportionate to her lower body which makes me believe she is floating. I am so surprised and awake in a gasp not to mention the sense of urgency around needing to pee is pressing against my bladder.

I immediately get up and head on down to the bathroom. In my head I’m thinking this is a fluke of a dream. Where did that come from? Having done my business I return to bed to cuddle with the dog kissing his head I fall back into the dream. Again I find myself at the base of what is a magical scene. Faerie dust and jelly surrounds me. It feels refreshing and renewing as it cascades over me. I know given the opportunity I must ascend again to see the head. I want to know if what I saw before it in fact correct. Relaxing into this state of consciousness I begin to float up toward the waist. From this new vantage point, I turn to look up at its torso. Again I am astonished to see myself once again playing with this magical jelly floating high above the waist. I must be having a good time all dressing up. How did I get here? What brought me here? I almost feel like when someone walks in on you and surprises you while you are fantasizing and dancing around and you don’t want anyone to see your child like innocence, your playful spirit, an adult being a child. There I stand unnoticed by me yet I know I’m seeing myself. It feels as if someone caught my galavanting on tape and is playing it back to me. The wings are baby wings tiny compared to my size yet I wear them with pride believing I can fly.

January 30, 2019

I HAVE A DREAM: Sunrise Splendor

January 30, 2019

This morning’s dream was so beautiful. I’ve never experienced anything like this. In the dream I had a false awakening where I believed I had been woken up by my cat. I couldn’t fall back asleep so I decide to go outside to see if I can see the sunrise. There is no real clear view of the sunrise from my house in waking life but in the false awakening I go outside. Across the street I see a field of grass. I believe it would offer me the best view of the sunrise. I cross the street. I can feel the cool blades of grass under my feet. Looking toward the sunrise the sky is still dark. As the sun peeks its head ever so slightly upon the horizon the sky bursts into a beautiful flaming red. I can see down to the Mall and all the monuments in DC including The Capital, The Washington Monument and the Lincoln. The sunlight reflects an the glass of the building and on the wet pavement something so bright I’ve never seen before.

I scuttle to position myself for the best view. I want to grab my camera because this is incredible. I am so captivated by the sun I am unable to act on my desire. Within no time, the sun is higher in the sky and the flaming reds give way to golden yellows and the blues of the sky. I am in utter awe of the beauty that is our earth and our National Monuments. Its a good day to be alive.

~~~~~ Dream Ends

With all the light shining in my eyes I awake to the realization that I wasn’t already awake. My alarm has yet to sound. I grab my phone to see the time and it is 7:40 am. I have 10 minutes of cuddle time with the dog and cats. I run to the bathroom and return to bed corralling the dog to snuggle with me. I immediately have a vision. I can see a person with shimmering light brown hair. I take in his or her facial features. I can’t seem to determine if it is a girl or a boy. The person is between 14 and 24 yrs old depending if he is a boy or a girl. The person is wearing bright yellow and green. The person is talking to me but I can’t hear a word. She stands at a 45 degree angle facing me as if she is getting ready to turn and walk away. I feel refreshed and renewed. I am inspired to access both my masculine and feminine. I feel connected to Gaia.

January 28, 2019

Gorilla Morning

January 28, 2019

Last night’s dream was very bizarre and detailed. In the dream I have been frequenting the office building where I work. Day by day the scene changes just a little bit. The change is so slight it is unnoticeable except when I reflect back on the past and recall details no longer present. Everyday I go buy my danish and morning coffee from a small Korean market. On this morning, I again go buy my danish except the sum change over the many years hits me. As I reflect on the past, I perceive the overall change as significant. What is causing the change? I decide to do something different today.

Looking around I decide to follow the others about their morning business. I hop on a bus. The bus takes me up on a mountain to a remote location which is barely accessible. To hide from view I am camouflaged in the back of the bus with leather skins. I can hear the sound of the the animals who wore the skins. The passengers here are being taken hostage by a group of gorilla vandals and made to be slaves. I realize I have to do something to save these people. The gorillas are not yet aware of my presence since I am normally a creature of habit and would not have deviated from my morning routine they simply are not expecting me to be on this bus. I study my environment carefully and decide a course of action. I am unknown here it is almost as if I blend in to the scenery and am simply overlooked by their own force of habit. The gorillas simply do not notice me. I use this to my advantage.

I become lucid enough to know I am in an altered state and most likely dreaming. I decide to try some of my skills to manipulate the dream. I begin threading parts of the dream to alter the tracks slightly. This allows those who are enslaved here to notice a slight change but not large enough for it to be obvious to the gorillas. Those seeking hope can see the light and realize a new day is on the horizon. Little by little, I thread a parallel timeline. I divine a storyline where the Master Gorilla likes to be fed only one particular food his morning crescent. The gorillas seeing the new storyline give instructions to the slaves to make the crescents for the Master Gorilla. Over time the MG begins to gain weight and becomes obese all the while I continue threading the new storyline. The new story line allows the the slaves to enjoy a thanksgiving meal while the gorillas are given a ration beans. They have no awareness I have changed the storyline.

In time I create an opening big enough in the dream to fill with new possibilities. I breath in the vapors of the dream and it feels good. There is a sense of freedom. I am given a chair and a wooden staff. The chair sits on the track I created. The chair moves along the track and through the opening in the dream. I ride it home but on the way I ride past the Master Gorilla who I easily identify because he is very obese now. He is being held to the dream by only a few remaining threads. I take my staff and poke him with it once then twice. The second poke dislodges him from the dream completely. We are all free now.

My chair continues down the track as I return to my bed and I awake from the dream.

~~~~ DREAM ENDS

After my alarm rang I closed my eyes and immediately had a vision of a woman. I studied her features carefully. Her jaw line was thin and pointy. She had similar eyes to my family. She resembled my dad’s side of the family. I wondered if she was representing the female embryo’s. She spoke to me. I could see her lips moving and the expressions she made will speaking. She explained the gorilla dream on some deep level words are not able to describe. When she was done she gave a final blink of her eyes and vanished.

January 26, 2019

Peep Stamps 30 Cents

January 26, 2019

In this dream I am with someone and I invite him to have lunch with me at my old job. As I approach the glass door to enter the building it occurs to me I no longer work here. I wonder if the access code still works for the door and if they would know I entered the building. I try the code and to my surprise the door opens. I walk in but worry about inner access restrictions. I decide to offer him an alternate place to eat across the street at International Square.

We sit down to eat and after we are done I escort him to the metro but he tells me he does not have a metro card. I take him to a vending machine which sells postage stamps. He places his money in the machine and pulls the lever for a stamp. The stamp is returned by the vending machine. It is reads 30 cents. Unsure if this is sufficient to ride the metro, I suggest he try his luck with it. He appears willing to do so.

The cat woke me up so I took advantage of the moment to take a pee break. Upon returning I closed my eyes and immediately had a vision. I am seeing 4 children around the age of 7. All are lined up facing me stooping slightly as if to peer into my life. My attention immediately awakens to the thought one of these young peeps might be OB and if one is OB then the others must be the MBs who are on ice. The first child comes in for a closer look. He has light straight light brown hair with his bangs touching his eye browse. I can see him clear as day. My heart warms with the thought of OB.

January 23, 2019

PDF: Public Displays of Friendship

**How a Lack of Touch is Destroying Men**, by Mark Greene

January 23, 2019

Last night’s dream was very touching for several reasons. I have been feeling very lonely lately and isolated. Even though I have people I know around me there are far and few I can call good friends. My heart yearns for deep connections. In the dream I am at work. My old boss BMo who I worked under for 20 yrs gives me and my team a project to work on. There are many parts to this project which have to come together just right. I have completed my tasks and am waiting on the rest to complete theirs. My boss wants to view the outputs to the project so he can review them. I can see my completed tasks on my phone but I am trying to figure out how I can get it from my phone to where he can see them. I decide to print it which I do but then I realize I do not have a print driver on my cell phone. I then try to create a PDF of the document. It is proving very challenging to transfer the information but I manage to get the information to my boss.

A co-worker is sitting at his computer and asks if I can help him retrieve some data off a hard drive. He has several hard drives taped together with black duck tape possibly to conceal the data. He point to the area beneath the tape where he believes the data is stored. We have to get the data without removing the tape. Jokingly I ask, “Why did you secure it with duck tape? Is it your porn collection?” He simply laughs and grabs my hand to hold it. I sense from his touch he is wanting an excuse to have physical contact with me. I am confused because I know him to be a straight man.

He holds my hand for an extended amount of time not wanting to release it. We work on accessing his data. Feeling more and more comfortable with him holding my hand I stand behind him and place my other hand on his neck. I can feel the little hairs on the back of his neck. My body fills with emotion and a sense of longing. As our final act he gets up and thanks me. As he gets up, I release my grip on his shoulder and my hand slides gently along his chest. I can feel his heart beat and a sense of a warmth pulsating deep within.

Our team project is complete with the help of our team mates. I can see my boss’s sense of satisfaction for a job well done.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

I felt so good after waking up. A part of me felt like God or the Universe feels my pain and wants to comfort me by giving me what I need even if it is just in a dream. The is not to belittle the effects of the dream because they feel so real to me. I woke up feeling cuddled and hugged.

I went on my search for a picture to go with the dream and came across this one which is so perfectly suited for the dream. The article “How a Lack of Touch is Destroying Men” so perfectly hit the nail on the head. It is a must read and so applicable to me and my situation now since I am expecting a baby and since I will be a stay at home dad raising my little one I can take the opportunity to teach the value of touch. It is also reassuring for me to know how much I too will receive from the experience of being a parent.

Sometimes the synchronicity of the message in the article that is perfectly suited for where I am and what I need today makes me feel like the Universe is responding directly to my need. How wonderful is that?

January 23, 2019

Care Stamps

January 21, 2019

I had a night full of dreams. During the night I remember thinking this is too much I can’t journal all this so I decided I would not journal anything. Instead, I would simply enjoy the dream.

In one of the dreams, I am looking for someone to watch my dog for the weekend. I respond to an ad in the classified. The gentleman who answers the ad seems like a nice guy. I immediately decide on letting him watch my house. I leave without a care in the world knowing my dog and house will be taken care of.

Upon my return he tells me he decided to rent a new apartment under my name and move all my things. I have only been gone 3 days. He has also taken on a roommate or partner. I am angry and confront him about this. First of all, I want to know where my dog is. I look for him in every room but he is nowhere to be found. He tells me the dog is in the cage outside. OUTSIDE?!? I am fuming mad. I never leave my dog outside. I head outside to look for him. I can see the cage but I do not see Butters anywhere. I call to him. I rush back in to continue venting my disapproval of his actions. He tells me it is too late he has already moved my things. I tell him sorry this is not how you do things. I don’t live here. I threaten to report him to the management for using my name.

Wanting to find my dog. I rush back outside and continue calling out to my dog. “Butters, Butters where are you?” The apartment units are all interconnected with one exiting and immediately entering another or entering a shared space between the units. I become confused not knowing which unit is the one came from? I examine the doors and can distinguish the inside from the outside. I walk out to a common area where they have communal lounge chairs. People are relaxing on the lounge chairs. Some are in communal areas and some are in private units. I call out to Butters again and finally he comes to me. I gather his leash and his cage and proceed to put everything in my car to leave.

I wonder where the management office might be. I would also like to retain details on the unit he rented so I can properly identify and report the situation. I decide to look in a desk drawer. Inside the drawer I see personalized sheets of stamps he has ordered from the post office. The stamps are the type you peel and stick. Each stamp is white with a simple logo with gold lettering. The lettering reads. Care.Com. I wonder how can he be a caring person and have stolen my identity.

Once in the car I see a guard in the parking lot. He also sees me. I want him to know I am not some dazed dreamer. I want him to know I move with intent within my dream. I decide to get out of the car and look in the trunk. The car I am driving is a convertible. I loosen the top and retract it for the ride. Once again I pause to look at him and sit back down in the drivers seat. It occurs to me I don’t know where I am going. Struggling to access my waking memory…..I dig deep within me for my address. I affirm to myself, “I know my address!” I struggle to call it up from waking life. I can see my street in my mind. I plot a destination. MY ADDRESS IS <STREET NAME>.

I instantly woke up having yelled my street name.

January 22, 2019

Hangar 1: Belmont

January 22, 2019

Tonight I was pretty tired and considering the night was very cold I decided to stay home. While watching TV I fell into a dream. During the dream, I can still hear the TV because the program I’m watching is very interesting. It is a MUFON series called Hanger 1: The UFO Files. The dream feels like a continuation of last night’s dream. I feel like I am being tested and challenged. Things are happening and I am confused about my reality. The dream seems so real. I want them to know I am not asleep. I have control of my environment. I struggle to control what I am experiencing in the dream by engaging with it in ways my conscious mind is choosing. In one scene in the dream, I am in my apartment laying in bed like I am in real life. I can see my bed and my night stand. I get up to look out the window to see if I recognize where my dream apartment is located. Looking out the window, I immediately recognize I am at Belmont High School in Los Angeles but this Belmont is on another planet. I recognize it even thought it is not exactly the Belmont I once attended in the City of Angels. There is a very strong knowing I am at Belmont. The window I am looking out of looks like it is made of a natural stone or masonry. For a moment, I feel this is so real. I am still paying attention to the television in the background which is also playing in the dream. I am really here. I open the front door to go outside to physically read the name on the building. The minute I step outside the apartment the name on the building is instantly obscured from my vision making it impossible for me to read the name. I think to myself, it figures I am in a dream.

I go back inside and lay on the bed to continue watching the TV program. I am aware of women who live with me. I can not see their faces but I know they are in the house. I see a duffel bag float by my real life bed. I can somehow still perceive my waking life within the dream. Again I want the dream to know I am awake so I reach out and grab the duffle back by the straps. I am struggling to get up out of bed to see what is in the duffle bag. I can still hear TV in my waking life but can not seem to raise myself up out of the dream.

Alas! I awake.

~~~~ DREAM ENDS

I quickly journaled this before going to bed and stopped the television series to pick it up tomorrow.

The next day I sat down to continue watching the MUFON series Hangar 1. I had just finished episode 5 and started episode 6. Half way through the episode they introduced a case the occurred in Belmont, New Hampshire. What are the odds of my dreaming about Belmont and the next episode having been about Belmont? Had I continued last night it would have been a far greater coincidence. I can flag this one as a precognitive dream.

January 21, 2019

A Ripple In Time

The U.S. Army – International Space Station Expedition 22 crew members take a moment for photographs

January 21, 2019

Last night’s dream I wasn’t wanting to journal it. I remember waking up in the middle of the night from the dream and consciously deciding I don’t like this dream so I didn’t record it. However, this morning I still remember all the details so here it is.

In the dream, I am part of a space program on the International Space Station. However, it is much larger than the small one that orbits earth. On the space station everyone is aware of aliens. There are competing agendas in space but for the most part organizations seem to get along except…. the US and the Russians. On the surface it looks like we get along because we are both from Earth but in reality there is a plot to kill someone. They have created alliances with a malevolent alien group. Passage between the US area and the Russian area is strictly monitored. On this day, we are asked to do a medical mission to the Russian side. I am traveling with about 7 people. The gates that allow you to cross are owned by each government. We are in a hurry so I line up to go through the Russian gates even though I am not Russian. Once on the other side I have a deja-vu. I recognize this space and I know what is about to happen. There is a plot to kill the doctor by sabotaging the train she is on. I fear for our lives. Once on the other side, there are many people passing through with their credentials. The Doctor rides on the tram before me. Something she is wearing gets caught in the mechanical parts of the train aas the car turns she is swallowed up and killed. I am watching this not believing my eyes. The Russians claim it is an accident. The next car goes through I am in the car. I believe this is the end of my life. Something in me tells me I have to pee. Instantly I become lucid. As the car is moving I decide to modify the tracks. It is after all my dream. Where the track would have swallowed me up I create an opening in my mind through which the track may diverge.

I am wearing a primitive life vest which has little inflatable wings attached to it. The wings seem to be more decorative than functional. The wings remind me I can fly. I realize this is the first time I’ve learned I can fly. It is as if time has shifted. I play out the first time I flew. I am experiencing how it was to fly with the confidence of knowing I’ve always been able to fly. I take off like a rocket. I am flying over black waters in outer space. One thing new is I don’t have a sense of direction. I have managed to break free. I wake up needing to pee. After returning from the bathroom, I lay back down and close my eyes. I find myself in a hallway where I am welcomed by three men. I focus on the guy in the middle. He has distinctively American features and is clean shaven. I ask myself, “When will my dreams catch up with my bearded fetish.” None the less, there is something about his look that feels welcoming. He greets me and asks where did I take off to. So I answer…”I had to pee.” He then opens the door and I am returned to the scene before the Doctor went through the passage and is killed.

Now feeling relieved of my bladder I watch. She gets in and the train begins to roll down the track. Again she is swallowed up. Again the Russian try to play it off as an accident but as soon as they do a ripple in the timeline is felt and she reemerges with a baby blue life vest on and the little wings similar to the ones I was wearing when I went to the bathroom. Now the Russians are exposed for the truth. She is saved and still lives.

~~~~ DREAM ENDS

I struggled to find an image to go with the dream. Then I ran across this one with the three astronauts and it reminded me of the three men who met me when I returned from the bathroom. The one in the middle looks very similar to the guy who was in the middle with a very welcoming look.

I’m not sure why I didn’t want to journal this. I think it is because I don’t like violence. I hate all the violence in movies.