April 20, 2021

Last night I had a dream where I am wanting to be part of the people who have gathered. I’m directed to a seat in the living room. The seats offered to me are not prime seating. It looks like wooden crates and a bench seat. I have mixed feelings around the seating offered but I see a woman in the distance who I recognize. The seating turns out to work perfectly because it affords me time to visit with my cousin who is seated nearby in the corner. She is holding a baby.

It occurs to me that this may be one of her grandchildren. She must be able to read my thoughts and offers an explanation. She tells me this is her daughter-in-law’s baby girl. She was born just 2 days ago. Her daughter-in-law is resting following the birth.

I then ask her if this is her second child to which she respond yes this is her second baby girl.

~~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

This dream occurred before 1am because I woke up to go to the bathroom to pee and change my son’s diaper. I was struck by the dream. Why did the dream describe the relationship from the perspective of my cousin’s daughter-in-law? It seemed so formal. Why didn’t she simply say it was her son’s baby or her granddaughter? I also found it interesting that the baby was presented to me from the perspective of my cousin who is once removed from the baby. My relationship to her son is also a once removed cousin.

This whole dream has very strong messages regarding my remaining embryo’s which I’m donating out to families. In some way I feel it was trying to describe the relationships I will have to my biological children those embryos I’m donating hoping to establish open relationships between the children.

I’ve been pondering the dream from 2008 called My Mother’s Name is Penny. In that dream I believe the little boy was Oliver coming to me to share with me the things he was sent with namely the collection of postage stamps in his pocket. Following his coming into my life, I have always seen the postage stamps as the snowflake embryos he came with. His siblings that need to be delivered to their intended recipients. The stamps need to stick on envelopes addressed to the intended recipients. I have the responsibility to see that they are sealed and properly addressed.

As I type this it is remarkable the synchronicity in wording. Intended recipient is the exact terminology used when donating embryos and babies are delivered. The stamps need to stick to9 the envelope like an embryo needs to stick to a uterus do develop and be delivered in birth. Maybe the seal is the open embryo adoption contract as they say to seal the deal.

When I was done changing Oliver’s diaper I thought about recording my dream but I was simply too tired to do that so I tried my best to commit it to memory. I knew it was dream that had to be journaled since I have been struggling with letting go of these babies. I really can’t have them all myself but I often wondered if God intended me to have a second one. Given the dream I of the stamps I think it is clear they are destined to be sent out and addresses to others. I think this dream describes the relationships I can hope to establish.