I Cried Last Night

March 7, 2019

In last night’s dream, I am visiting my oldest brother Paz. We are at his house and I am helping him clean and empty his house out so that he can sell it. In the wall between the living room and dining room he has built a nativity manger scene for his daughters to play with. It is about the size of a shoe box with miniature characters. His girls have left it with the last scene they had set up in the box before they grew up and had no need for it anymore. It is the only remaining piece in his house given the box is built it into the wall.

Standing in front of it, I reflect on how life might have been for him raising three daughters. I exclaim, “The house is much bigger now!” My other brother Louie and his family arrive at the house. His wife Maggie mentions there was a snow storm overnight which dropped heavy snow and now the roads are covered. I attempt to look out the window to see the road conditions for myself but I am unable to tear myself away from the manger box. I ask him if he is planning to hit the road for home? He nods as to affirm his decision. I am saddened because it is the last time I will be in this space. Tears roll down my face with a feeling of abandon filling my heart. Why is it our family always has to leave in separate directions?

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

This dream was unusual in that I don’t often find myself crying in a dream. I remember the feeling of loss was so overwhelming. Mainly it was a separation anxiety that I was having to leave on my own and I would need to manage with the snow myself.