Category: Romance

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With Honor

August 20, 2018

Last night I had a dream where I am preparing to be married.  There are a number of people around my bed.  I am told I can see my soon to be partner who is a woman.  She stands at the foot of my bed.  They convince me this is my destiny and I am guaranteed protection.  Surprisingly I’m convinced.   I ask how I am to identify my “wife” in the future?  See they are all etheric beings and therefore transparent to me so I’m afraid my “wife” would be hidden from me so I ask If I can place a tattoo on her neck. 

Something jars me awake.  Where’s my protection, I think to myself?  For about 2 seconds as I opened my eyes to find beside my bed was standing a female honor guard.  Her hair is burgundy in color.  She stands at attention guarding over my sleep.

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A Hat is a Hat of Course

August 4th, 2018

I had a dream where I return to a resort where I’ve stayed before.  A part of me believes I should have a my room reserved at this location.  I find my room close to the pool and walk in.  The room has changed.  They have made it more agreeable and amenable for more people to stay with me.  There are two rooms with beds in them and one room even has bunk beds.  It looks more generic than personalized but I do like the layout.  Considering this is a vacation space I think the layout works nicely.  I look for the bathroom and notice the door is closed.  I can hear someone inside using it.

Knowing I have to go to the bathroom I remember there being a restroom on the other end of the resort.  I recall something new about the resort.  I recall the entire resort being available for my needs.  I recall not only additional restrooms available but additional sleeping areas.  The choice is mine to make.  I walk out the door toward the pool on route to the other restroom.  There are people in the pool.  One woman is completely naked.  She walks on water.   She is walking toward another woman who is in the pool leaning against the pools inner wall.  Although she is a woman she has both male and female attributes.  The woman who walks on water, walks on the surface of the water toward the other woman. Before arriving in front of her she goes under the water and fondles the other woman’s private masculine parts.  I’m surprised at their open display of affection.  I wish I had time to be as free to enjoy that type of intimacy but I have to find a restroom.

I finally couldn’t wait any longer and woke up to go to the real world bathroom.  I did my business and returned to bed.  I quickly returned to the dream.

I am now entering the other bathroom where a man stands.  He is an Amish  man with a full beard with a soft breathable cotton shirt, leather suspenders and a relaxed look.  He wears a suede leather Amish style hat.  He sees me enter the restroom and salutes me by taking off his hat.  Except under the hat he has another hat.  He then proceeds to take the second hat off only to discover under that hat he has yet another hat.  This continues for about 5 hats.  The last hat on his head is small with a 5 inch brim and is tied under his neck.  Atop the crown of the hat are two small Moose with full antlers.  It feels like a magic trick as the outcome is completely unexpected.  Like a child amused with laughter we both laugh with full bellied joy.  It becomes apparent he is doing this to amuse me.  His interest in pleasing me touches my heart and soul.

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Love

My second partner Michael who held 10 yrs of my life.

August 3, 2018

Last night I had a dream where I am in a line of people not quite sure what we are waiting for.  I am with my mother who is old and in a wheel chair.  I am protecting her.  Along the path where we walk are cutouts small rooms with 3 walls.  Occasionally people pause while they wait in line to reflect on what each room holds.  While standing in line your vision is restricted to the cutout room directly in front of you.  I am standing in front of my mom.  It is has been my belief we are at the end of the line whoever I become aware of a man who has been standing behind my mom.  I have missed noticing him because he has been engaged in each of the rooms as the line has moved.  I on the other hand have been waiting in line with my mom not entering the cutouts.  To satisfy my curiosity who might be standing behind my mom I walk behind her now in a position to see into the cutout where the man stands.  I discover the man in the room is Michael.  My second partner.  He looks amazingly beautiful.  All the reasons I fell in love with him come rushing back.  His hair glistens in the light of the sun and his beard seems to reflect the rays of the sun.  Yet even with all this love for him I feel I need to scold him for his actions.  I somehow feel he might have done some wrong against my mother.  I want him to know I stand to protect my mom.  I also feel he has hurt me.  A part of me if mad over the pain he has created in my life.

As I stand there in discussion with him, I begin to become aware of the dream.  Knowing I’m in a dream now I look at “Michael” and wonder what else might he be here to represent.  With my mind focused on OB and feeling the love deep within me.  I can feel it radiating out warmly by the sun reflecting off his golden hair.

My alarm rings and I wake up to snooze it.  I quickly close my eyes trying desperately to return to the dream.  My inner eye now sees cartoon characters.  These are very similar to yesterday’s except these appear to be presented for a mature audience.  The characters are dressed in cartoon suits, some I notice look like formal wear.  They seem to be gathering for a celebration.  I see their cartoon hair is black and well presented with clear delineation and  distinction.  They appear to be happy and proud.  My alarm rings a second time.

~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

As I was journalling my dream and describing the cutout rooms I had a very strong feeling that each room represented a day in my life.  I seem to be stuck not engaging fully in each day because I am attached to the idea that I must care for my mother.  My mother in her wheel chair seemed unable to enjoy each day either.  I was unaware of Michael’s nearby presence because he was in engaged in life.  There is also the idea that I’m stuck in the past possibly morning the past.  I can’t see love in today.

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Love of Corn

July 26, 2018

Last night I had a dream where I want to plan dinner out for my partner and our mothers.  The purpose of the dinner is to allow our mom’s to meet each other.  I have to be discrete about the invite because I don’t want others present to feel excluded by the invite.  Interestingly enough the dream doesn’t provide me with who my partner is.  I simply know the person of interest is my partner.  The mom’s meeting seems to be needed to seal the relationship.

During our dinner my partners mom gives me three corn plants.  I love fresh corn.  She tells me she knows how much I love the taste of corn and says I will be able to harvest my own from my garden.  The plants are about a foot tall.  I think about where in my garden I will plant the stalks where they will receive the greatest amount of sunlight possible to grow.

~~~~ DREAM ENDS

I looked up the symbolism of corn

Corn: Used in many Native American rituals, maize is a symbol of life, abundance, prosperity, growth and fertility.

 

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Snug As A Bug

July 25, 2018

Last night i had a dream that was troubling to me.  The concern is am I getting in over my head.  I am looking for an apartment to rent because I want to be close to people.  I sign a lease on a corner unit in a high rise apartment building.  I have only looked through the unit briefly.  As I do a walk through I’m trying to figure out what parts of the unit are actually allocated to me.  The color palate is mostly white with shades of beige.  I can feel the texture of the rug and fabric of the drapes.  I am concerned that I already have responsibility of a house and what I might have gotten into.  Why have I committed to additional responsibility?  I wonder if I can possibly continue to rent out my house on Airbnb and live for a while in the apartment to experience what it is like to live in an apartment setting and closer to my neighbors.  I can continue to monitor the needs of my house and not have to sell it.  I ask the owner of the apartment if it is OK if I bring my piano with me.  I tell him it has a low profile and should be easy to bring into the unit.  He agrees and says its OK.  I walk through the different rooms noticing the texture of the carpet and the emptiness within the different rooms and passage ways.  I walk into the bedroom and see two people sleeping covered head to toe under their sheets.  They have a throw cover over them that has a plush light brown texture which reminds me of Alpaca.  I figure I must have wondered into someone else’s bedroom or maybe the current tenant hasn’t fully moved out yet.  Is this my bed?  Should I be in bed with them?  I quickly rush to depart the unit not wanting to disturb their sleep.  I want to maintain their privacy.  As I leave, I take a minute to look out the windows and notice the pool down below.   I think I will like living here.

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Vignette of a Daddy

The humanistically oriented has an aesthetic-artistic profile

July 18, 2018

DREAM 1:  I had a dream where I am rearranging my website to show images of my daddy poses.  My objective is to show what daddies look like.  There are three images of me as a daddy I choose to settle on for the website.

DREAM 2:  I had another dream where I invite friends to celebrate.  My wallet is full of money.  I take a bite of my wallet as if it was a sandwich.  I worry I can’t exchange the money I’ve chewed.  I close my wallet and pause to think what to do about the money I’ve chewed up.  I open my wallet a second time and discover the wallet is as if I had not bitten into it.  My wallet has recovered and has more money in it than before so much so that the money is falling out.   It is stuffed so thick it is busting at the seams.  Someone beside me tries to grab at my wallet and succeeds at taking money from me.  Angered by this,  I attack him pointedly targeting the return of my dollars.  I am successful at recovering my money.  Emboldened by this I go in for another grab at his money.  I am successful at getting his money in addition to my money.   I recognize I am in a dream and wonder if he is playing with me or testing my reaction in the dream.  How assertive am I with the things I want in life?

DREAM 3:  I then had another dream.  I am in a castle.  I contemplate how I might remodel it desiring to change the windows on the first floor.  There is a white bottle of of lotion sitting on the counter with black lettering along with a symbol that looks like a large K.  I am aware of a young man who is in the castle with me.  He has approached to be a potential boyfriend.  I know for him to be the one he must be able to read and understand the meaning of the symbol and writing on the bottle of lotion.  If he is able to understand then he is the one if he can’t then he is not.

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Look At Me Bobby

June 6th, 2018

I had a dream where my mom has a museum where she displays artifacts from history.  The artifacts have religious or spiritual connotations.  Things like tuning bowls, instruments, mandalas etc.  My mom lives in the house behind the museum.  Someone comes into the museum looking for her wanting to borrow my bike. The person is a cousin possibly Victor.  I’m thinking I hope my mom hasn’t started lending out my things to people because these things are things I cherish and have great value and memories tied to them.  I don’t seem to remember how to get to her house.  He tells me they need access to the water lines.  As he is leaving, I tell him,  I am the son of Otilia.  I then discretely follow behind him knowing if I follow him he will lead me to where my mom is or lives.  I may learn more about my mom.  Behind the house is a natural body of water which is very deep.  The water glows orange and yellow in the light of the sun.  He now has lion hair and a furr coat on.  He now reminds me of my cousin Jeannette.  She dives in to retrieve what they need to access the water main.  When she comes out at the other end I tell her she didn’t have to jump in the water with her coat on.  She then takes the coat off to dry it and now she is a man with a beautiful hairy chest.  I think to myself, why would you cover that up his beautiful furry chest with a furr coat?  He rushes off to get his firetruck.  I am looking in the direction where he went waiting to see him return when from behind a truck and trailer approach.  The truck has no sides or top.  I ask him if it is legal to drive around like that.  He gets off the truck and tells me this is his firetruck.

Scenes flash before me like short 3 second movie clips.  Messages from these people come rushing in.  In one clip, I see my son when he is young.  I stop the clip because after all its my dream and I want to see my son.  The dream pauses for just a moment long enough for me to get a good look.

(Click on above image it’s a 3 second clip)

In the time span of a breath I take in his image.  Feeling complete I exhale allowing the dream to continue.  I then see a man who looks at me.  I am still coming off the intense high of seeing my son so I am not paying much attention to anything else.  I feel like I have what I came for.  Again he makes a facial gesture indicating he too has a message for me.  I am still unable to focus.  He looks directly into my eyes and says,  “Look at me.”  I pause long enough for me to get a good look at this man.  The dream ends here as his image slowly fades from my mind.  Who is this man?

~~~~ DREAM ENDS HERE

I then woke up and recorded the details of the dream.  After my coffee I wanted to know who this man was.  Why was it so important for me to look into his eyes.  I said a prayer and walked into my library glancing slowly at the pictures on the shelves.  I wanted to find a picture with someone I can look into their eyes.  I then came to my Grandmothers photograph.  I stared at my Grandma for a few minutes and felt complete.

I then went upstairs to start my day.  The man’s face a man I’ve never seen before yet clear as day in my mind’s eye sat there not wanting to leave me.  I turned on the TV to watch MSNBC.  The news was having a segment honoring Robert F Kennedy.  It was a long segment on his life.  I am slightly annoyed because I want the regular news.  What is going on with Bobby Kennedy today that they are taking so much time recounting his life.  They then turned to a picture of him and OMG it was his face in my dream.  It was his face exactly.

I then went online to look for pictures of him to possibly look into his eyes.  Come to find out today it is the 50th anniversary of his death.  He died 50 years ago at Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Angeles.

My grandmother Simona Camargo also died at Good Samaritan Hospital when I was in the 8th grade probably 1978.  This is the picture I have of my Grandmother in my library.  I worked at Good Samaritan as a candy stripper the summer she died.  My aunt Helen also worked there as a nurse.  I thought it unusual when I came to her picture how perfect it felt to looking into her eyes.  I felt it must have been her.  I thought maybe my grandma came to me as a man in my dream but why would she do that?  Apparently there was so much more to be told.  What is the coincidence that today would be the anniversary of Bobby’s death.  Curious too the image I found online of bobby near the body of water is a 3 second clip much like the clips presented to me in the dream.  Had he possibly been swimming there in that picture?  And apparently he has a hairy chest.  So many coincidences.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it was OB I saw before this man showed his face.  Was it then OB all along showing me his firetruck?  I like the picture of Bobby and the little girl.  I imaging myself someday with OB.  I wonder is that was his daughter.  I don’t know much about Bobby Kennedy.  Was OB my Grandma and Bobby all in heaven conspiring to send me messages.  I think so. I am a blessed man to have a direct connection to the higher realms.

May you rest in Peace Bobby.  And to my Grandma I remember you like it was yesterday.  I will never forget you.  Le tengo mucho amor abuelita.

 

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Sasha’s Pocket Pastries

 

May 27, 2018

I am the co-producer of a movie actually more like the technical director of the movie.  Hillary Clinton is in the movie playing one of the parts.  She has to travel from Los Angeles to DC.  When I see her I know she had to travel all that distance to get here and is apparently in good shape.  She is refreshed and ready to go.  She is not one for detail so I have to explain the technicalities to her such that she is able to carry out only her actions.  For her to remember more is simply ineffective.  Plus I don’t want to tell her too much about the movie because there are a lot of sex scenes so it is best to just tell her the technical details of her scenes.

I am now on a coffee break with my friend Sasha, she is here on a short term assignment.  I am looking through the pastry cart at the offerings available.  The coffee smells delicious.  There are so many pastries to choose from.  I spot a double decker pastry I like.  I reach for the dish with one hand while pouring my coffee with the other.  At the same time, I’m chatting with Sasha.  Distracted I look down at my pastry and realize it has changed.  I am frustrated because I want the other one I chose.  I internalize a thought that says to me,  “I should have known the dream would change the scene on me,  (apparently I am aware I am in a dream).”  I slap the pastry dish down on the counter to look for the one I desire.  I feel it is near me.  I look and look and look, turning around several times to find it.  I sense it is close but I don’t see where it might be or who might have taken it from me.  I feel they are playing a hide and seek or bait and switch games with me.  It occurs to me to check my pockets.  I reach behind me and in my back pocket are the pastries of my desire in perfectly wrapped single servings portioned out for me.  The pastries have multiplied.  As I pull one out of my pocket there is another on it’s heels remaining in my pocket.  I pull one after another after another until four pastries are sitting on the counter.  There seems to be an endless supply within my back pocket.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS.

When I did wake up i had a pain in my ankle just above my heel.   Since dreams always enjoy word play I point this out since the word also showed up in a physical sense.  I also thought it interesting that my friend Sasha who I hardly know was in the dream.  I wonder if that is close to Santa and if that is a play on words.  I put the reference here for future use.  I like the message of the dream because it is an indication to me that what I desire is already in my back pocket.  The highlight of my day is always my morning coffee and danish.

 

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à Daris: Itsay Ouryay Assyay Ownpay

May 26, 2018

After waking up in the morning and doing my usual bathroom break, I returned to bed for the precious snooze.  I immediately find myself in a restaurant.  We are seated at a long picnic style table which reminds me of the last supper because everyone is sitting on one side.  There is a male family member seated at the other end of the table who stands up.  His act of not conforming to what we are doing namely sitting to eat outrages me.  In a stern tone I tell him, “Sit your ass down!”  I am looking through the menu deciding what to order.  I decide to order empanadas but the waiter tells me the empanadas have to be picked up from a location in Columbia which would take me a day to travel there.  Curiously, I recall Columbia referenced in a previous dream but this doesn’t quite yet trigger a lucid state.  I decide to order pizza instead but cannot decide on the size of the pie.  The waiter shows me the square pizza boxes.  They are twice as deep as you would expect them to be.  He opens a 16 inch box which has a double decker wedding cake inside.  It reminds me of my new Shamanic drum which I just purchased.  He cuts the cake in gesture saying, “Your pizza fits inside.”

A waitress tells me the game played at the restaurant is Pig Latin.  Whatever you say you must substitute the p’s for d’s.  They seem to be very good at substituting the sound.  They do this effortless.  This frustrates me because there is always a new requirement.

I am given an envelope with seeds to occupy my time while I wait.  I walk outside so as to not be required to participate in the Pig Latin game. The envelope is getting wet as the day is cloudy, drizzly and grey.  The fibers in the envelope are breaking down exposing the seed to the moisture.  I worry the seeds will germinate before I am able to plant them in an appropriate place.  I begin walking looking for a place to plant them and discover I am in Paris.  Knowing I don’t have to be anywhere until tomorrow, I decide to take advantage of the situation and walk up the Champs-Élysées toward Rue de Rivoli and the Le Marais district.  I’ve been here before so I know my way around.  I will find an appropriate park to plant the seeds on my walk.

The sites are so beautiful I want to take a picture.  As in a dream from yesterday I don’t have a camera with me.  This awareness triggers a lucid state.  The walk is longer than I remember it to be so I sit down.  My seat then begins to move continuing in the direction of Le Marais.  Beneath my seat, I hear a pipe or muffler dragging on the ground behind me.  I smile with an inner knowing, this is just a sound effect let it drag I am not worried about it.   The chair is now moving at a good clip.  I turn and look back taking in the sites, “That muffler doesn’t seem to be impeding my progress.”

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Zither Sweet Cream

May 15, 2018

I had a dream where I am with family.  We are getting ready to leave.  There is an ice cream machine with dulce de leche flavor.  I scoop out the remaining amount and share with those around me.  There are areas with concentrated cream that is so sweet I try saving the majority for me.  It is a lot of sugar but I it is so good I share it, keeping most of the best for me.

After leaving, we walk by an antique dealer on the street just like the one on New York Ave.  There is a beautiful baby grand piano.  It is kid sized.  There is a woman inspecting it.  She lifts the lid to expose the strings.  I ask her if it is a harpsichord.  She responds, “No its a Zither.” She then proceeds to show me how she pulls and plucks the strings.