I’ve been having a lot of dreams lately but have had little time to journal them. In this dream I find myself at home with OB. It is our first night together. I place him in the crib to sleep. I am very tired and lay in my bed for a little cat nap but end up falling into a deep sleep. I am so tired. Later I wake up in shock because I didn’t want to fall asleep. I immediately walk over to the crib to see if OB is still alive. I notice he is all puffed up like a puffer fish. His cheeks are so big and puffy. I roll him toward me wanting to kiss him but not knowing where I can kiss him without giving him my germs. I decide to kiss him on the temples as he has one eye open. I recall kissing my mom on her temples.
In last night’s dream I find myself upstairs in my house cleaning and notice OB has returned some wicker baskets I had thrown out. I look over the stair railing the yell down to him to come get the trash. He in turn pokes his head out from under the banister and says those are his baskets implying they are his to decide on whether to keep or throw away. I toss them back down to him before comprehending what he is trying to communicate.
We are getting ready to leave the house on an adventure. Ivy is with us but before leaving the house I notice the ceiling is made of glass or a see through resin. Curious about this feature I examine how the ceiling attaches to the walls and notice the work is seamless. The glass is so thick it appears to have the illusion of water flowing though it as the resin has locked in air bubbles. How did they do that?
I proceed to walk out the front door with OB and Ivy close behind. As I step out onto my front steps the sun is shining bright in the sky. I turn to look to my left and see a field of wildflowers yellow and orange as far as the eyes can see. I remark about the beauty. I then turn to my right and notice the same on my right. Yellow and orange flowers as far as the eyes can see. I am again in awe of the grandeur and beauty of nature. When did I plant that many seeds?
I spent most of the evening dreaming with OB. We are in his dimension traveling the astral plane. He is showing me the many changing tables they have to offer in his realm. There is an array of changing tables each within private rooms of many sizes and accommodations. He basically has the keys to the Kingdom to access me the many rooms. We are on an exhaustive day as there is so much to see with each changing table.
Toward the end of the dream as I sense I am nearing the time to wake up. OB and I depart company. As I am headed back to my realm it occurs to me, I forgot my bag at one of the changing tables. I immediately head back to recover it. Upon arriving at the changing room where I believe I left my belongings, I am confronted with the fact I don’t possess the key to unlock the door. At this moment, the door opens and my old boss BMo exits the room. Since I know him and he knows me, I ask if he would allow me to grab my belongings from within the changing room. He is hesitant believing he is not authorized to allow me back in. He tells me I will need to be creative on how I retrieve what belongs to me. He then departs and I am left there to ponder my dilemma.
I sit still envisioning the room and what is contained within my bag. I muse over what I will be leaving behind. Examining the contents of my bag in my mind I pick through the objects categorizing what I want to keep and what I would leave behind. While this self reflection is occurring my surrounding begin to change but I don’t immediately notice the subtle changes happening. It is not until I am content with my decisions to cull through my bag that I become aware I am the key. I have my bag and I know what I want to keep.
With this realization I immediately awake from the dream.
~~~~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS
Wow what a profound dream. This morning when I awoke I didn’t really think much of the dream. I knew it was special and lighthearted given I was with OB. It was a happy dream to remember. I knew I would journal it to cherish the time spent with OB. Of course life happens and I quickly got pulled into my morning. I have guests arriving today so had to clean and vacuum the house. By the time I sat down to journal the dream I had pretty much forgotten the entire dream. The only bits I recalled were OB and the changing tables.
It wasn’t until I shared the dream with Ivy that more bits and pieces came streaming in giving meaning to what would have otherwise been a forgotten dream.
I think it is clear there is great change coming my way and with fatherhood and searching for a new job I am going to have to get creative. Its a good feeling knowing the keys to the answers are already within me.
Whats also interesting as I reflect back now is OB wasn’t a baby in the dream although he was showing me changing tables. He was a young man. I remember in the dream taking note of his appearance and the level of detail with which I perceived him. I’m always looking for clues on what he might look like. Of course now I can’t recall much of anything as to his looks. I do remember he had a very dark rich complexion very tanned skin. The lighting was dim so that also added to the dark complexion. There was also an element of mystery as to not be too revealing. He also had dark hair. I recall items in the dream being illuminated from within so as to reveal just the object. It was a very magical and carefree place. And although OB wasn’t in character toward the end of the dream when I awoke I felt he was there very close to me. Makes me wonder if when we come into this world if we have a say in picking our parents. With as much love I had for my parents I’m sure this is the case.
This dream happened after I had already woken up in the morning had my coffee and danish. I was feeling very tired and decided to go back to bed. I didn’t think I’d fall asleep since I had a full cup of coffee. My sleep was very much on the surface and I knew I was dreaming the entire time. The things I saw were incredible.
In the dream I find a type of transport vehicle. It is a very small car made for only one person. The wheels are flat as the do not turn but yet they look like rubber. I open the car door and take a look at the instrumentation panel. I get in thinking I want to take it for a ride. The minute I step into the vehicle before I even close the door the vehicle starts moving at what seems to be an incredible speed. A part of me knows where I have programmed the car to go. It takes me to the top of a snow capped mountain. where on one side of the slope live a tribal civilization and on the other side is a the valley of hope. I come to rest on the dividing line between the two. I don’t want the tribal villagers to see me because I know nothing good can come from visiting their side of the mountain.
I scoot over toward the Valley of Hope but it is a very steep drop from which I must fall to arrive in the valley. Although I know I am dreaming my surroundings appear so real to me I have no idea whether I would survive a fall from these heights. A part of me doesn’t really care. This just seems a much better place to be. I know my destiny is in the valley of hope. I get out of my one man vehicle and take the leap into the valley. It feels like I am skydiving. It is a long descent before I will know if I arrive safe on the valley floor. The feeling in the air is of utter exhilaration yet there is a knowing I can trust in the process and I will be safe.
Along the way many things come into focus. I see things I’ve never seen before. As I am nearing my touch down I can see a welcome mat. It is made of a natural fiber like bamboo which is woven like a basket. The weave will provide a netting to catch my fall.
~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS
I recall sitting inside the little car which reminded me of a VW Beetle from its shape and given it was so small. When I sat in the bug I remember thinking this is what OB must feel like to be inside a one man vessel.
This dream I had several days ago around the 1st. I haven’t had a chance to journal it but it did seem significant and special. In the dream, a young boy runs up to me he is around 6 or 7 years old. He is excited to see me and is wanting to share some pictures with me. I immediately recognize the boy as OB. He is telling me all the things he will accomplish during his lifetime. I am fixated on his features trying to remember in detail what he looks like to bring back with me into my waking life.
Excited, he shows me three picture frames. Within each frame is a video of his life representing the epoch bound by the frame. As I become aware I am seeing him at different stages of his life, I again examine his facial features mentally comparing the difference in my mind on how he has grown and changed. I am so focus on his features I become inattentive to the story line as he is narrating it for me. I simply watch the video as if it had no audio mesmerized by what I am watching.
Each frame I mentally compare with the last frame. I am very pleased with his life and as I perceive from his excitement he too is proud of what he will accomplish.
In last night’s dream I suddenly find myself in a conversation with someone I have not seen in a long time. I am totally engrossed in the conversation with a single point of focus. I am present for nothing else but to engage in this conversation. I am so deep in thought with him and so happy to share my life with him I blurt out the words, “His name is David”. I am telling him about the baby I am expecting. I have not shared the name or sex of the baby with anyone other than the baby’s gestational mom. Immediately I realize I have given away too much information. I look around me and to the left of where I am sitting is seated my sister who is reading a magazine and not paying attention to the conversation. Her face is hidden behind the magazine. I discretely tell the guy not to share the information because it is supposed to be a secret. In doing this it occurs to me David is not the name I have selected for the baby yet I do not feel the need to correct the record.
~~~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS
It felt so bizarre to find myself so engrossed in the conversation and slowly becoming aware of my surroundings. Little by little I awakened in the dream to my present life yet everything felt true.
I don’t remember much of last night’s dream which I know there was a lot more to it. I do remember thinking this dream is too complex for me to journal. Mainly the dream was a night of working through logistics what needs to happen when and for what purpose and how it should be set up and effectuated was the general theme. Toward the morning right before I woke up, I found myself at the hospital where baby OB was just delivered. I arrive to see the baby who has already been born. It is the first time I am to hold the baby in my arms. Knowing this is a precious moment to be savored and also worried about how to do it correctly, I reach into the bassinet and place my left hand under the baby’s back and head while my right hand reaches in and scoops the baby up from the bum.
With the weight of the baby in my hands, I recall a conversation with mama Ivy who had bestowed on me a few words of wisdom earlier in real life. She advised I not rush the fun part. The memory of the conversation triggered a lucid state in the dream given OB isn’t due until late August. With the advice in hand, I pause to take in the baby’s facial features. OB’s eyes are wide open and making baby faces as OB looks around the room in every direction as to take in it’s surroundings. I question inwardly whether I have come to OB or if OB has come to me.
In last nights dream, I am away from home at my work site. I see many trucks and construction men around me. They are breaking ground to build a new work site. I become aware of a fissure in the foundation which threatens to divide the site. I somehow know this fissure to be in my house also as it’s effects are felt by the entire neighborhood. I decide to leave the job site and travel back home to secure my belongings. My house is just a few blocks away and adjacent to the job site. There is havoc as people scurry to evacuate the area. The rush of people is causing delays in getting home. A truck driver offers me a ride. Assuming this to be the speediest route home, I accept.
Once in the truck, it becomes apparent he would need to travel the long way around the work site to get to my house. The offer now seems a bit backhanded as it really was of no help to me and is taking me further out of my way. I decide to get off and head back to the parking lot to cut through to the other side. I feel the urgent need to poop but I still have a long way to go. A small wet fart slips out which causes me to soil my pants. While in the parking lot, I ask one of the cleaning ladies if she can offer me a restroom where I can clean up a bit. She offers one of her janitor closets which has a small shallow sink with fresh water and some paper towels. I clean up a bit but notice the poop is alive with fish and tiny animals. It is a muddy river teaming with life. Where the poops runs into the clear waters in the sink I examine the various life forms. There are animals of all kinds. This is not standard poop but poop which must be preserved.
After depositing all the poop into the small utility sink with water I leave to continue my journey home. I have very little time to get there so I decide to travel in somewhat unconventional ways. I assume I must be dreaming and therefore must have special powers within this dream. Taking an example from one of the frogs in the sink I decide to try to leap frog my way out of the parking structure. My leap frogging works and I am able to quickly scale my way out of the parking structure only to find it does not exit out where I need to be. Once again, I am confronted with having to find an alternate route.
The animals from my poop are now fully constituted and offer me other resources and new ideas for getting home. There is one fish who is especially beautiful and a gifted swimmer. Following his intuitive lead, I follow him to my home.
I am secure and safe in bed where I immediately have a false awakening. An Airbnb guest arrives. I hear him enter and walk up the steps to the second level. I get up out of bed knowing I already have a guest in the upstairs bedroom. I am greeted by an Asian man and his 10 yrs old son. Something unusual catches my attention about the Asian man I recognize him from before and if I do it must be a guest who previously stayed with me and is returning. Knowing I haven’t changed the pass-code on the door I assume he simply used the old pass-code to enter the house. The boy runs into my bedroom to play with things in my room as if this was his home. At the top of the stairs I explain to the man I already have a guest staying with me and don’t have available space to accommodate him. I sense he has come for an ulterior motive. I sense he is secretly attracted to me. I can see he is getting an erection in his pants. I don’t think it is a match since I am generally not attracted to Asian men. He excuses himself and proceeds to leave with his son.
It occurs to me to check to see if my son is with me. I return to the my bedroom where his son was playing only to find the infant car seat is empty. I go into a panic wondering where I might have left my child and in who’s care did I leave him. I head downstairs where my nieces are gathered. I suspect one of them might have smuggled my child with them. My niece Ester smiles at me with a mouth full of teeth so white they look fake. She smiles a second time long enough for me to carefully examine her digital teeth. There is something electronic about them. Maybe it is the means she uses to whiten her teeth. As they leave, my niece Daisy is the last to say goodbye. She places her hand on my voicebox and transmits a message like a ventriloquist. I immediately feel the vibration of her voice within my voicebox but the sound is muffled I can not understand the words. The look on her face tells me she is very happy for me and is confident I will find my missing child.
I next walk toward one of my guest bedrooms passing through the kitchen and dinning room where the Asian man’s son is sitting at the table waiting for someone to feed him. Knowing the Asian man must still be in my house I open the other bedroom door. The Asian man is in there but blocks the door from opening fully. All I can see is his face and the baby blue t-shirt he wears. One thing which strikes me are his soft youthful features. I have a feeling my son is with the Asian man.
Last night’s dream was a repeating dream as if the dream wanted to make sure I got the message. In the dream, I am readying the baby stroller checking it over and learning how it functions. The documentation on the stroller says it comes with an optional bassinet available at a significantly reduced price. It is not the bassinet I had intended on buying so I am somewhat reluctant to inquire about getting it. Slowly with each iteration of the dream, I become more open minded. Each time looking over the features of the bassinet they offer. The features seem very nice and acceptable but I still have my heart set on a different one which I had previously previously picked out. Again the dream repeats until finally my alarm clock sounds.
I quickly snoozed it pausing for a moment to reflect on the bassinet offered at a significant discount. I am torn between the one I want and the one which is being offered in the dream. As I fell back into my snooze, I see a woman who looks at me as if to ask, “Have you decided yet?” I think she can tell I am having difficulty with this one. A thought comes to her mind and she opens her eyes wide open implying she has a bright idea. Her image disappears when my alarm rings for a second time.
Wanting to know more about the bright idea, I quickly snoozed the alarm. I grabbed the dog gave him some morning kisses and readied myself to receive the gift. I slowly fell back into my dream state where I am now looking through an obfuscated window. The glass on the window is made of honey combs. I can see through the hexagons, through the golden jelly which fills each hexagon and off into the distance where blinking lights seem to be fluttering. As the lights approach the window, I can tell they are not lights but instead flying butterflies or possibly dragonflies. The light is produced by the sun shining on the wings of the butterflies. Their wings are flapping slower than a bee or humming bird. They approach even closer to reveal their little bodies which look more like Tinker Bells. At times the light coming through the honey combs is refracted off the Tinker Bells which reminded me of a kaleidoscope. It was beautiful beyond words. Again my alarm sounds.
I quickly snoozed it yet again feeling I needed more clarity on the vision. I quickly fell back into the dream state. This time, I could see shooting stars falling toward me. Each star when it entered the atmosphere of the night sky in my mind blazed in a splendor of color, yellows, orange and peach tones.
Before the alarm sounded again I knew I had no sleep left. I turned off the alarm and laid in bed meditating on the meaning.
~~~~~ DREAM ENDS
The subconscious speaks in pictures which are not easily translated. Maybe they are meant to be felt and experienced. Where the images come from I don’t know. What amazes me is the clarity with which the mind can formulate the images with such perfection. I am not an artist with any ability to draw so how does my mind create such things. Simply amazing.
In last night’s dream, I am with OB. I am teaching the baby the ropes on the dream space. The baby is a young adult maybe in its mid-20’s. I can not see my child but I sense it’s presence over my shoulder as if riding piggy-back. I am confident in my training as I systematically walk through the lesson. We are trying to get back to my childhood elementary school to eat at their cafeteria. Along the way, we stop at my Junior high school since it is closer and happens to be on the way. The kids are monitoring the walk up food counter. We say hello and they show us the avocado sandwiches they have prepared for the day. I tell OB we need to continue and go all the way back.
We are almost there. We come to a street which is cordoned off by the police. Instead of the yellow tape the police use a thin baby blue tape which has high technology encoded into the tape. It reminds me of the LED lights used in my aquarium. I tell him they are probably surveilling our every move. We walk under and past the tape and arrive on the playground of my elementary school. It is early and only a few administrators are here. The children have yet to arrive. It occurs to me I should probably show OB how to fly. Even though the play ground where we are standing has more open space in which to demonstrate flight I choose instead to march on to the cafeteria which is the destination.
Now on the front steps of the cafeteria, I take a moment to demonstrate flight. Since there is less space here than on the playground I decide to shoot straight UP in the air. I soar like a rocket to heights not humanly possible. I have so much reserved energy I continue climbing in altitude even after I’ve stopped.
Now floating at the APEX of life and am still climbing from sheer inertia and momentum. I look down in the direction of the playground and wonder how am I supposed to land on the playground from this altitude. I have learned to fly but have I learned how to land? I assume it must be no different than landing from horizontal flight but the altitude is just so great. Slowly as my forward momentum decreases I begin to descend back down and land gracefully on the walkway between the cafeteria and the playground. I feel a sense of accomplishment having successfully taught OB how to fly and returned to my point of origin.
~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS
This dream had striking similarity to my dream Wait One Cent (October 15, 1995). I’ve always known this dream to be a pivotal moment in my life. It solidly connected me to my dreams and inspired me to write my book. It left me feeling, “More will be revealed.” It is why I journal dreams today. I’m still looking for clues to the “more” from beyond to guide my life. I think this APEX dream confirms another pivotal moment and that is deciding to have a baby. The dream My Mother’s Name Is Penny which I journaled in 2008 10 years before I even embarked on having a baby links OB with the my penny dream. Some day I will put together another book to tell the story of all the dreams that have guided me to this APEX of my life of having a baby.
