You’re Majesty; The Queen

September 15, 2018

In last nights dream, I am in a village in a distant place with my dog Butters. The village is a place of twin cities which sit along a river. One side is a population of indigenous Indians like Mayans. I can see their elaborate and the earth tone colors they wear and beautiful head dresses. On the northern side is the City of Royals. They are the crystalline people. They have outfits made of shimmering particles.

Two women sit on thrones. One is a grandmother and the other is the great grandmother. The great grandmother is the furthers away and she sits upon a mount which oversees the City of Royals.

On the other bank of the river there is yet a third area separate from the twin cities where a giant monolith stands. He stand 100 times taller than any man in the village. He wears all dark grey silver color. He is a monolith of granite yet he is animated and alive. Some time passes before I realize he is standing across the river. I spend this time visiting with the villagers freely passing between the northern side where the Royals live and the southern side where the villagers live. I’ve spent time on both sides with them the entire time unaware of a divide.

I hear a voice ask, “Did you pay your respects to You’re Majesty the Queen?” I look around and for the first time witness the Monolith Man. HUH? Who and what is this? Who is he referring to as the Queen? I assume he is referring the the great grandmother who would in essence be the queen. I am now for the first time aware of the divide between the cities. I recognize the distinction between the two cities. I realize the two mothers are queens and they sit on the Royals side of the divide. The Monolith insists for a second time, “Did you pay your respects to You’re Majesty the Queen?” If this monolith has been standing here all this time he would be well aware I have visited and played with them for this entire time. They are family to me.

Overwhelmed by his sheer size I feel obligated to go back to the City of Royals and pretend to satisfy his request. With deep reluctance I travel back to the northern side where the Great Grandmother Queen sits. I approach kneel before her and ask in a whisper, “Great Grandmother what’s up with your son? Is he not paying attention?” Knowing she is regarded as nobility I seek her protection given my size in comparison to the Monolith. I ask her, “What should I do?” To which she answers in a loving tone placing her hand on my head and combing my hair with her fingers, “Well call me, You’re Majesty and Just go along with it.” This angers me because it seems unjust after all she is my great grandmother and who is this man who orders me around. To please the situation I whisper “You’re Majesty is that enough?” Now with an overwhelming sense of impending defeat beckoning every fiber in my body to respond. I turn inward for a moment to summon a response for the Monolith. In this moment of deep inner contemplation a rush of energy floods my body. From the my feet upward, my body fills with the energy and I immediately take flight. The rush is so great I am forced to temper the energy so as to not fly too high above and out of their sights. I realize this seems to be an adequate source for power to use in response to the Monolith.

While in flight I take the opportunity to learn how to control flight. I try different maneuvers. I suspect I am somewhat lucid here because this seems to be an automatic response to flight some earthly programming I have inserted into the dream to test things pertaining to flight. I notice some of the makeovers don’t respond as well as others. As time passes I seem to be losing the ability of flight. I try navigating to different places in the dream some with success some requiring a great deal of mental effort. I wonder if the way to more effectively control the dream is not my intent to move toward objects but instead my intent to have the scenery move toward me. Maybe my power is conserved by having everything else move around me in response to my desire while I remain still. I look down and behind me and notice I am now sitting on a chair while things are in motion around me.

With this new found awareness, I return to the villagers. As I approach from the skies I can see the surprise in their eyes as they cheer my return. I can see them going about their business in their homes. I am somehow in the mind of everyone here. I seem to know all that is happening. There is a feast where we eat and celebrate. It is now time for me to head back home. They offer me food to take back with me. The only place to carry the food is in my suitcase which is not the best place to store food but I do it anyway.

Upon returning home I have a false awakening. Where I believe I’m back home. Except the family I am now a part of are Indians from India. I bring out the food I have packed to share with them. Their customs are different from mine. Everyone eats of the food. I suddenly realize I have traveled back home and forgot to bring Butters with me. I enter a state of extreme panic like that of loosing a child. The dream must have known it needed to intervene to calm me down. I then felt my dog move who was nestled comfortably between my legs on the bed. I reached over and patted his head with an overwhelming sense of relief I returned to the dream now fully lucid.

I take advantage of my lucid state an asked the question, “What gives with the divide. I wish to understand the separation between the twin cities.” I instantly found myself on the banks of the river looking at two distinct time windows much like a portrait of each city. One millennia past and one today. The one today the river is very over grown with flowers and wild grasses along it’s banks. The one from past is pristine tranquil in its beauty yet dark and still.

Still wanting to understand more I find myself in the City of Royals. This time the city is empty only I walk here among the ruins of this place. I enter the school where I walk through it’s classrooms. I hear the voices of children play yet no one is here with me. I find an origami someone has left behind. I begin to unfold it examining how it was constructed. Fold by fold, I deconstruct the origami revealing an inner message. It is a code of secrets. In the lower right corner as I unfold the last piece of the paper I see a milky white head crowning through the crease in the page. I pause knowing this is a reference to a baby. I pause to look at the paper still not wanting to fully open it savoring the moment and trying to take in as much information as possible. I look back at the writing. It is not writing I consciously recognize yet I am intimately familiar with it’s message. At some level I understand. Deep within its creases I see the face of a woman. She is talking to me yet I cannot hear her words but I can see her lips move. I clearly understand the message. “Its possible if you want it badly enough.”

~~~~DREAM ENDS

I chose to take the alternate spelling of the word you’re instead of your given my knowledge of dreams and the wordplay that happens in dreams. Also given that each character in the dream is a reflection of me. I assume the dream is telling me I am majesty, I am hewn from stone. The dream I think is also telling me that I am the queen and ruler of my life. I have motherly instincts. I need to pay my own regards to myself and recognize and honor this part of me.

This dream is deep with meaning. I found it interesting that when I approached the queen I didn’t acknowledge her as queen I went back to refer to her as grandmother and asked what was up with her son? What made me assume the Monolith was her son? How and why did I equate the monolith as her son? and am I the monolith? Am I the son? Do I need to bring my self down a level and pay for what I want badly enough. Funny how in so doing I found my energy.

August 29, 2018

The Table Congregation

August 29, 2018

Last night I had a bizarre dream. I find myself in what appears to be a stairwell of a building possibly leading to a mechanical area. The way the stairwell is structured it is very complex. It reminds me of the skeleton of Arc de Triomphe. I am chasing an entity. It is elusive. It is a part of me that hides itself from me. It passes in flashes of light. This is an internal struggle where I alone can reconcile with this force within me. I must find the flash of light and confront it, unite with it and harness it. I must tame the beast. I can see it zipping past me in the corners of my vision.

I decide on a strategy. I scale the stairs to the top where there is a meeting hall with two separate, distinct and rectangular tables in the center. People come here to resolve issues. As the attendants walk in they take their seats. There are two balcony rows above the area where the tables are where spectators can come and gather to view the discussions. I sit at one of the tables and wait for everyone else to sit at either of the available tables. I observe who is on which side. Nancy Polossi walks in and sits at the opposing table. I am thrilled to see her but she does not say hello. She appears unfriendly and cold. This angers me as I notice people here are not in good spirits with one another. Since I am in charge of this space and this meeting that I’ve convened, I ask them to all stand and file themselves by their respective ages. Not wanting to come together all the participants scatter to the balconies. They don’t seem to want to follow instructions. I tell them they must accept the the terms or they cannot rejoin the table. I give them instructions on how to pair up one junior member and one senior member. The senior members must tutor the junior members and the junior members must assist with the responsibilities of the senior members. The senior members must learn to be like junior members in there curiosity and innocence for life. Every week when we gather going forward we will conduct this exercise and in time we will learn to work together. Still reluctant and dismissive of my demands. I sit back down in the center. The two tables are now one large circular table. As I sit the table becomes a pure white being. I begin talking with The Table Entity. We are as old friends so happy to be reunited. I decide to take a picture of us to send it to the members. The members are now calling me on the phone wanting to join the congregation. I can see them in the balconies having done a 180 in their attitude. They in return show me their painted faces and celebration outfits. Everyone is dressed up beautifully like the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

Curiously as I was journalling the dream not knowing where it was going or how it would unfold one of the things that struck me was the focal point of The Table(s). I attend a church called the Table Church. I really liked the way it became an entity unto itself. I assume this entity is what I was seeking to find and reconcile with. I also thought it humorous that those things that keep the table separate and in conflict turned out to the the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgences. I also love the ending where we could come together and poke fun at ourselves be happy festive and reunited as one Table Entity. Is this the way God would want it? I think so.

August 10, 2018

Castle Lights

August 10, 2018

Last night I had a dream where I find myself in a huge castle. I’ve been here before. I seem to be very familiar with the layout and where things are and how they work. I am well known for the inner workings of the castle. The castle is so big it has small streets within it. There are a set of inner lights that are not often used. I think it is a good occasion to turn them on but I need to replace one of the light bulbs for it to work. The electrical system has two sources one comes from the castle itself and the other comes from the city in which the castle sits. This set of lights because they serve the roads within the castle are served by the city. I find the junction boxes. My sister Grace is with me. I tell her to be cautious because we would need to turn off the city power first to tamper with the junction box. I also tell her that she can’t use just any light bulb to replace the one that is burned out it must be a special light bulb which is similar to the ones used in the tail lights of cars with the small prongs on them. She is impatient and feels she knows it all. I decide to use an old light bulb and not a new one just in case if it blows out. I vaguely remember what happened last time I tried to change the light bulb. As if to go back in time to the point where the light bulb blew out I insert the light bulb. For about 3 minutes the lights in the inner city turn on. The streets within the castle look simply beautiful. I had forgotten how beautiful and magical the city looks when the lights are on. One of the wall torches begins to flicker signalling a possible short in the wiring. We need to access the problem area by going down in a manhole under the castle grounds. I take my dog which is an unusual looking white dog. He is very nice but a bit too adventurous. This work requires caution. I’m afraid the dog will fall in the manhole and I’ll have trouble getting him out. The dog looks in the manhole and I guess doesn’t find it interesting or it doesn’t grab his attentions and Instead he goes off running toward the corner sniffing the buildings. I cautiously do what I need to do to fix the problem in the manhole.

Later in the dream I run into Joe my ex. He tells me he has the money he owes me. I hardly believe it true since Joe is all about lies and procrastination. Why would he of his own volition want to repay a debt to me? He then shows me the calculations he has made. They are not numbers in the sense that we would know them but instead an arrangement of artifacts. The placement of things seems to tell a story. I ponder the items and the story they tell. Just as I am about to wake from the dream the thought enters my head…Aha! the baby. It add up to a baby.

August 5, 2018

Mum’s Nun But A Moose

Dame’s Portrait Gallery Alanna Wood, Sechelt, BC, CANADA. Bar Nun and Moose

Last night I had a dream where it felt like I was in a silent movie. No words are spoken. Everything is communicated in silence. My friend Dinah is sharing my house with me and has rented one of the rooms. She has a guest, a man she is interested in who comes to visit. I examine the locks on the door to ensure she is safe. It feels like the world is shifting and changing. I now find myself seating in church pews. There is a canopy above my head which I secure in front and behind me. I am now aware of Nuns who are seated in front of me. They in turn take the canopy and extend it to the pews in front of them. There are now Nuns seated in front of them. They too take the canopy and extend it to the seats in front of them. This goes on several times maybe 5 – 7 times such that it now feels like I’m riding in a bus. The world is shifting around us except under this canopy. It feels like we too are moving but we are moving as a collective.

A faerie is seated beside me to my right and below my under arm. He hands me Moose antlers with the understanding that I am to use them for flight. I’m a bit confused as I am unsure how I am to use them for this purpose. Do I put them on my head or to I extend my arms? I extend my had to accept the antlers from the faerie. As soon as I do their power pulses through my body.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

As I sat here trying to remember my dream to journal it. I thought about what the name would be and what image could possibly go with it. I wanted to use both the Nun and the Moose in the title but how in the world was I going to find an image. Well it appears an artist Alanna Wood has created a work of art that depicts just that? As I clicked through to the larger image I was drawn to the way the grass is depicted in the image the texture reminded me of the canopy in my dream. The antlers were very similar. I also found another picture with nun holding deer antlers but the antlers didn’t match my dream. Very interesting similarities.

SYMBOLISM OF MOOSE:

They are symbolic of bravery and dominance. Antlers are a moose’s greatest system of defense. They also come in handy to get the ladies. To explain…during mating season (in the Fall), male moose vie for the attention of the cows (female moose).

August 4, 2018

A Hat is a Hat of Course

August 4th, 2018

I had a dream where I return to a resort where I’ve stayed before. A part of me believes I should have a my room reserved at this location. I find my room close to the pool and walk in. The room has changed. They have made it more agreeable and amenable for more people to stay with me. There are two rooms with beds in them and one room even has bunk beds. It looks more generic than personalized but I do like the layout. Considering this is a vacation space I think the layout works nicely. I look for the bathroom and notice the door is closed. I can hear someone inside using it.

Knowing I have to go to the bathroom I remember there being a restroom on the other end of the resort. I recall something new about the resort. I recall the entire resort being available for my needs. I recall not only additional restrooms available but additional sleeping areas. The choice is mine to make. I walk out the door toward the pool on route to the other restroom. There are people in the pool. One woman is completely naked. She walks on water. She is walking toward another woman who is in the pool leaning against the pools inner wall. Although she is a woman she has both male and female attributes. The woman who walks on water, walks on the surface of the water toward the other woman. Before arriving in front of her she goes under the water and fondles the other woman’s private masculine parts. I’m surprised at their open display of affection. I wish I had time to be as free to enjoy that type of intimacy but I have to find a restroom.

I finally couldn’t wait any longer and woke up to go to the real world bathroom. I did my business and returned to bed. I quickly returned to the dream.

I am now entering the other bathroom where a man stands. He is an Amish man with a full beard with a soft breathable cotton shirt, leather suspenders and a relaxed look. He wears a suede leather Amish style hat. He sees me enter the restroom and salutes me by taking off his hat. Except under the hat he has another hat. He then proceeds to take the second hat off only to discover under that hat he has yet another hat. This continues for about 5 hats. The last hat on his head is small with a 5 inch brim and is tied under his neck. Atop the crown of the hat are two small Moose with full antlers. It feels like a magic trick as the outcome is completely unexpected. Like a child amused with laughter we both laugh with full bellied joy. It becomes apparent he is doing this to amuse me. His interest in pleasing me touches my heart and soul.

August 1, 2018

Ready to Ride

August 1, 2019

This dream i had two days ago but I didn’t get around to adding it. Last night’s dream seemed to dove tail into it. The dream is complex but simple. I am on a roller coaster ride that continuously comes back to the same place for me to do something and then get back on. The something I have to do is journal the dream from the night before. I remember feeling very very tired of continuously looping around and around on the track. At one point, I simply can’t ride it anymore and I get off. This is when I recall being in the dream from the previous night where I notice a computer screen this is the same computer screen from the night before which I remember has journal entries. Again as I did in the previous night I read the journal entries presented on the screen. I am keenly aware the screen controls the track the roller coaster uses and I must write the script to differentiate the track to effect a new path.

In the previous night when I look at this same screen I am unaware of the roller coaster. All I know is I am somehow a contributor to this effort. We have work to do. As I start reading the screen it contains information on the work being conducted. I recognize the work and it becomes apparent it is a journal of the work which has been performed to date. I ask someone nearby if they can confirm my assumption. The person confirms it is in fact a record of the work conducted. It somehow feels like a story of my life and my life’s mission. The record is missing the latest developments and the course for the future. I begin typing into a tiny keyboard that is very very small. Someone notices I am struggling with data entry and hands me a cell phone which has voice to text dictation. I begin using it to input the data stream.

My awareness now returns to the present moment in the dream. The roller coaster now contains new instructions. I no longer feel fearful or reluctant to embark on the coaster once again. I am ready for the ride of my life.

July 18, 2018

Vignette of a Daddy

The humanistically oriented has an aesthetic-artistic profile

July 18, 2018

DREAM 1: I had a dream where I am rearranging my website to show images of my daddy poses. My objective is to show what daddies look like. There are three images of me as a daddy I choose to settle on for the website.

DREAM 2: I had another dream where I invite friends to celebrate. My wallet is full of money. I take a bite of my wallet as if it was a sandwich. I worry I can’t exchange the money I’ve chewed. I close my wallet and pause to think what to do about the money I’ve chewed up. I open my wallet a second time and discover the wallet is as if I had not bitten into it. My wallet has recovered and has more money in it than before so much so that the money is falling out. It is stuffed so thick it is busting at the seams. Someone beside me tries to grab at my wallet and succeeds at taking money from me. Angered by this, I attack him pointedly targeting the return of my dollars. I am successful at recovering my money. Emboldened by this I go in for another grab at his money. I am successful at getting his money in addition to my money. I recognize I am in a dream and wonder if he is playing with me or testing my reaction in the dream. How assertive am I with the things I want in life?

DREAM 3: I then had another dream. I am in a castle. I contemplate how I might remodel it desiring to change the windows on the first floor. There is a white bottle of of lotion sitting on the counter with black lettering along with a symbol that looks like a large K. I am aware of a young man who is in the castle with me. He has approached to be a potential boyfriend. I know for him to be the one he must be able to read and understand the meaning of the symbol and writing on the bottle of lotion. If he is able to understand then he is the one if he can’t then he is not.

June 12, 2018

Post It Ruben

I woke up briefly in the middle of the night to roll over half asleep and still dreaming, I got comfy in my new position. I then saw a group of post-it notes fly in front of me as if on a cloths line. The post-its dangled forcefully in front of me as if to imply, THIS IS IMPORTANT. As I examine the writing i notice the writing is in cursive in a faint baby blue color. I can barely make out what it says. Knowing I won’t be able to translate it literally since I am never really successful in reading things in dreams, I take in the note in it’s entirety allowing myself to feel the writing. I imagine myself as the writer and what i felt at the time the note was written. What message do I want to tell myself right now? Still awake in real life, I think to myself, “you better grab your voice recorder under my pillow and try to record what is on the note.. But my tired eyes would not allow the movement of my arms.

The scene changes and now in place of post-it notes I see faces on the line just like the post-it notes. They are still images of a man. I recognize the man. It is me. The picture is of me but it is not a me I recognize yet I know the person in the image to be me. I am the man in the picture.

I then fell deep into my sleep no longer recalling anything that came after.

The minute I woke up in the morning I had the thought, “that was an important dream that must be noted.” I struggled to reflect for a moment what was so important to remember. I thought you’ll never remember since I knew it occurred in the middle of the night and I was doubtful I had recorded anything on my voice recorder. It then came rushing back. I could see once again the post-it notes and the face of the man.

I found this image of anti-bullying post-it notes from Spring High School in Eugene Oregon.

May 27, 2018

Sasha’s Pocket Pastries

May 27, 2018

I am the co-producer of a movie actually more like the technical director of the movie. Hillary Clinton is in the movie playing one of the parts. She has to travel from Los Angeles to DC. When I see her I know she had to travel all that distance to get here and is apparently in good shape. She is refreshed and ready to go. She is not one for detail so I have to explain the technicalities to her such that she is able to carry out only her actions. For her to remember more is simply ineffective. Plus I don’t want to tell her too much about the movie because there are a lot of sex scenes so it is best to just tell her the technical details of her scenes.

I am now on a coffee break with my friend Sasha, she is here on a short term assignment. I am looking through the pastry cart at the offerings available. The coffee smells delicious. There are so many pastries to choose from. I spot a double decker pastry I like. I reach for the dish with one hand while pouring my coffee with the other. At the same time, I’m chatting with Sasha. Distracted I look down at my pastry and realize it has changed. I am frustrated because I want the other one I chose. I internalize a thought that says to me, “I should have known the dream would change the scene on me, (apparently I am aware I am in a dream).” I slap the pastry dish down on the counter to look for the one I desire. I feel it is near me. I look and look and look, turning around several times to find it. I sense it is close but I don’t see where it might be or who might have taken it from me. I feel they are playing a hide and seek or bait and switch games with me. It occurs to me to check my pockets. I reach behind me and in my back pocket are the pastries of my desire in perfectly wrapped single servings portioned out for me. The pastries have multiplied. As I pull one out of my pocket there is another on it’s heels remaining in my pocket. I pull one after another after another until four pastries are sitting on the counter. There seems to be an endless supply within my back pocket.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS.

When I did wake up i had a pain in my ankle just above my heel. Since dreams always enjoy word play I point this out since the word also showed up in a physical sense. I also thought it interesting that my friend Sasha who I hardly know was in the dream. I wonder if that is close to Santa and if that is a play on words. I put the reference here for future use. I like the message of the dream because it is an indication to me that what I desire is already in my back pocket. The highlight of my day is always my morning coffee and danish.

May 2, 2018

Addendum: Socks At The Kids Table

DREAM FEARLESSLY

This isn’t a dream but it came to pass that I met a guy who happens to have a thing for socks. It just so happens I had planned to have a date with this gentleman who I will name CJ. I became aware that CJ was celebrating his birthday the week of our date so that week I thought it a nice gesture to get him a tiny box of chocolates along with a birthday card and a Mylar balloon. On the day we were to have our date he had to cancel unexpectedly so I put the balloon in a vase in the dining room because it is pretty and it also gave me the opportunity to dream about the birthday parties I might have someday for my little one. The card and chocolates I stuck in a drawer.

Later I had the Kids Table dream where in the dream the little boy re-appears to give me a piece of chocolate. I knew my little one was calling my attention to the box of chocolate I bought for CJ. and quite interestingly it had writing in it, writing I recognized as something I had written.

When I finally came around to having that date with CJ, I went looking for his gift. I knew where the balloon was I just couldn’t remember where I had put the chocolates and card. After looking all over the house I finally found the card but the box of chocolates was still nowhere to be found. It was not in the most obvious place with the card. I knew there could be no way I would have put all three pieces in 3 distinct places. The box of chocolates had to be in the drawer with the cards but was mysteriously absent just like the sock that mysteriously appeared in my house one night. Yes a sock had mysteriously appeared in my house which I journalled as Mysterious Sock. I must have originally named the post Mysterious Booty because the link WordPress assigned to the post is Mysterious Booty. Interesting double meaning to the choice of words because CJ who you might say was a booty call has a thing for socks. He likes them so much he wanted me to wear socks when I answered the door. He wanted to see me wearing socks. I felt a strong association with the missing chocolates and the socks.

Now I’ve been a bit reserved on explaining some of the meanings in the dreams because I have just not been ready to do so. Backing up a bit if you haven’t guessed I’m in the process of having a baby. How I came to decide to pursue this dream of having a baby is a long story which I will tell at some point. Here i will say that the image of my child has been ever present in my dreams. So strong that I simply cannot over look it. The day the little booty sock showed up in my bedroom I took as a sign. A physical manifestation or signal from spirit that this is what I am supposed to be pursuing. When my little one who I will call OB1 (after Obi Wan Kanobe because it is a force to be reckoned with) showed up with the chocolate and having left the sock I just felt compelled to give CJ the magic sock after all he really likes socks and OB1 had given me his chocolate sock.

So after my visit with CJ we came to a point in our conversation where he was telling me that he is an elementary school teacher. I then mentioned that I may someday need advice. I then asked him if he had noticed my vision board in my bedroom where I have cut out magazine pictures of babies. I also have on there a few pictures of handsome men who can ether represent what I would envision my son to look like as a grown man or if God so chooses (lord knows I’ve prayed) a handsome man for me who is worthy of a relationship. I also have one special picture I cut out of a man especially for me. He is an uber handsome man who wears a T-shirt that reads DREAM FEARLESSLY. As we were looking at my board I suddenly realized the one picture of the man I placed in the middle with the Dream T-shirt looks exactly like CJ. A striking resemblance. Maybe someday I’ll ask his permission to post his picture here. It’s nothing short of a miracle.

Now I am not jumping to any conclusions oh CJ although he is definitely handsome as one can be but with all the heavenly chimes ringing there is a a message obviously intended for me. I take the message to be God has heard my prayer and has clearly demonstrated nothing is beyond his capacity to make manifest and he / she does communicate with me in dreams.

If I look at my board I had placed a picture of a beautiful woman who is pregnant in a rainbow colored bathing suit smiling and enjoying the sun. I place her there so that God would bring me a surrogate. I have been matched with a surrogate with whom I also share a magical story. See Santa’s Paradox. The morning I was introduced to her I woke up to find the Grinch sitting beside my bed. That day I received her profile and one of the pictures was of her and her family during Christmas with her husband dressed up as the Grinch.

Dreams are so incredible with a wealth of fairy dust to guide. It’s ashamed we don’t spend more time reflecting on them. I hope to someday share with OB1 how it came to be.

__________

Side bar: The Tab is on Me: Why 753?