The APEX of Life

March 12, 2019

In last night’s dream, I am with OB. I am teaching the baby the ropes on the dream space. The baby is a young adult maybe in its mid-20’s. I can not see my child but I sense it’s presence over my shoulder as if riding piggy-back. I am confident in my training as I systematically walk through the lesson. We are trying to get back to my childhood elementary school to eat at their cafeteria. Along the way, we stop at my Junior high school since it is closer and happens to be on the way. The kids are monitoring the walk up food counter. We say hello and they show us the avocado sandwiches they have prepared for the day. I tell OB we need to continue and go all the way back.

We are almost there. We come to a street which is cordoned off by the police. Instead of the yellow tape the police use a thin baby blue tape which has high technology encoded into the tape. It reminds me of the LED lights used in my aquarium. I tell him they are probably surveilling our every move. We walk under and past the tape and arrive on the playground of my elementary school. It is early and only a few administrators are here. The children have yet to arrive. It occurs to me I should probably show OB how to fly. Even though the play ground where we are standing has more open space in which to demonstrate flight I choose instead to march on to the cafeteria which is the destination.

Now on the front steps of the cafeteria, I take a moment to demonstrate flight. Since there is less space here than on the playground I decide to shoot straight UP in the air. I soar like a rocket to heights not humanly possible. I have so much reserved energy I continue climbing in altitude even after I’ve stopped.

Now floating at the APEX of life and am still climbing from sheer inertia and momentum. I look down in the direction of the playground and wonder how am I supposed to land on the playground from this altitude. I have learned to fly but have I learned how to land? I assume it must be no different than landing from horizontal flight but the altitude is just so great. Slowly as my forward momentum decreases I begin to descend back down and land gracefully on the walkway between the cafeteria and the playground. I feel a sense of accomplishment having successfully taught OB how to fly and returned to my point of origin.

~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

This dream had striking similarity to my dream Wait One Cent (October 15, 1995). I’ve always known this dream to be a pivotal moment in my life. It solidly connected me to my dreams and inspired me to write my book. It left me feeling, “More will be revealed.” It is why I journal dreams today. I’m still looking for clues to the “more” from beyond to guide my life. I think this APEX dream confirms another pivotal moment and that is deciding to have a baby. The dream My Mother’s Name Is Penny which I journaled in 2008 10 years before I even embarked on having a baby links OB with the my penny dream. Some day I will put together another book to tell the story of all the dreams that have guided me to this APEX of my life of having a baby.

Dream Drape

March 8, 2019

In last night’s dream I seem to be traveling to another planet. It is a planet which we are in the process of terraform. I wake up from being incubated for the flight. I still have a sleep drape which also acts as an invisibility cloak. It is how people are transported. I am one of the first to arrive as the terraforming has just begun. When I awake in the dream, I guess you can call it a false awakening because I am not truly awake in real life. What is surprising here is as I awaken I immediately recognize the process used to transport people. The invisibility protects you just in case you were to surface in a hostile environment. The threads of the invisibility drape conduct light and are multi-dimensional. It is how you pass between dimensions. The first thing upon arrival is the process of re-hydration. There is a clear needle that looks much like an orange peeler. It is a smart needle knowing exactly where to enter your body. I can see one of the other men on the mission who is also in the process of being re-hydrated. The re-hydration liquid is a silicon based material as it has an oily aspect to it. As I wait my turn for processing, I am very happy to spend time with the dream drape of invisibility viewing all the beautiful colors and peering into many many dimensions. It is so beautiful.

~~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

This was a truly spectacular dream and so surreal. It felt so real to me as if it were just another part of my waking life. It seemed purposeful with intent. Makes me wonder if there is a place beyond the physical to which we return to and originate from.

I Can Pray For Love

February 9, 2019

I wasn’t happy with last night’s dream so I wasn’t sure if I was going to journal it but I decided to do it anyway.  In the dream, I am with my ex Joe down in Miami.  We are going through the normal challenges of life.  Days pass and we seem to get out of touch with each other until one day I realize I haven’t showered with him in a very long time.  I have a longing within me for intimacy but I seem to simply be moving through life from one place to another unable to pause for a moment to enjoy it with anyone.  The pain of loneliness strikes me today in a way that it hasn’t before so I pause to see if Joe has taken a shower already.  When he passes by me, I can see his hair is combed and styled nicely and still looks wet.  There is another guy “a friend” in our house who has been visiting for a long time.  I notice he too has his hair nicely styled and looking wet.  I ask Joe if they showered together, to which he replies, “Yes.”

I am angry at him for cheating on me and angry at myself for not having asked for what I want.  I grab Joe by the neck and tell him this does not work for me.  I tell him it is over.  Our friend who is now presumably his boyfriend is now angry at me claiming stake to our home.  He has installed microwave lights in the ceiling with the intent on slowly causing me to have cancer and die.  I am clued in on his plot to destroy my life.  They are simply waiting for the effects of the radiation to kill me so they can live out their lives.

There is not much I can do but I remember … there is one thing; I can pray.  I open my palms up toward the radiant light coming from the ceiling and pray that it pass through me and reflect back justice on those who might want to cause harm to me.  I believe justice with prevail.  I remain standing unaffected by the cancer causing light.  Joe and our friend are forced to leave and I remain in the house alone.

~~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

As in the dream sometime I feel cheated in life because I don’t have a relationship and I find myself alone.  It also occurred to me that I can’t simply pray for justice i have to pray for the things that matter to me.  I have to ask for what I want.

Faerie Godmother Caught On Tape

February 3, 2019

I had fair number of dreams last night where I was very much engaged with the elements of the dream but I can’t quite place my finger on what I was doing.  The only thing I can remember is when I woke up to go to the bathroom while I was yet resisting the urge to pee, I had a vision where I can see what is a very magical scene.  My awareness is at ground level looking up at a very tall figure elongated from the base to the waist line.  The figure is surrounded by what looks like a blue shimmering faerie jelly.  It is iridescent with glitter stars all over it.  I struggle to look up at the entity.   I can see up to it’s waist.  Wanting to ascend higher, I relax and allow myself to float up along it’s base.  I arrive at the upper body.  Upon seeing the head I immediately have a flash of insight,  I am seeing myself but what am I doing dressed as a Faerie Godmother?  Her wings are infant sized just now growing and developing within the faerie jelly which surrounds her.  Her upper body is disproportionate to her lower body which makes me believe she is floating.  I am so surprised and awake in a gasp not to mention the sense of urgency around needing to pee is pressing against my bladder.

I immediately get up and head on down to the bathroom.  In my head I’m thinking this is a fluke of a dream.  Where did that come from?  Having done my business I return to bed to cuddle with the dog kissing his head I fall back into the dream.  Again I find myself at the base of what is a magical scene.  Faerie dust and jelly surrounds me.  It feels refreshing and renewing as it cascades over me.  I know given the opportunity I must ascend again to see the head.  I want to know if what I saw before it in fact correct.  Relaxing into this state of consciousness I begin to float up toward the waist.  From this new vantage point, I turn to look up at its torso.  Again I am astonished to see myself once again playing with this magical jelly floating high above the waist.  I must be having a good time all dressing up.  How did I get here?  What brought me here?  I almost feel like when someone walks in on you and surprises you while you are fantasizing and dancing around and you don’t want anyone to see your child like innocence, your playful spirit, an adult being a child.  There I stand unnoticed by me yet I know I’m seeing myself.  It feels as if someone caught my galavanting on tape and is playing it back to me.  The wings are baby wings tiny compared to my size yet I wear them with pride believing I can fly.

 

 

Souls for Santa’s Shoes

January 16, 2019

In last night’s dream two story lines are playing at the same time.  I am at work and have given notice that I will be changing positions.  As I’m ready to leave, I am having flashbacks reminiscing of the times I have spent here.  In the flashbacks is where the story lines diverge.  The story lines are my work and my home life with Joe.  I am separating from both of them yet they share common elements.

I can see the work stations at the helpdesk where I sat for many years.  There are two stations, plus one for the supervisor that is off to the side and an office with a door for the boss.  I consider what my life would be like if I stay at this job.  I’m looking to gather my computer equipment to take home with me but I seem to be missing my monitor.  There is something I need to do on the computer before I leave and I am unable to visualize what that is without the monitor.  My mind computes what needs to be done to separate myself from my ex Joe.  I think back to the many days I spent in Miami.  I am trying to gather my things and account for everything.  The monitor was working when it was in Miami.  I reconcile with the fact that during these last years I’ve not been with Joe so it seems an easy decision to part ways with him.  I ask why didn’t it work? The thought comes to me it is neither here nor there but I am confident I will be able to access what I need without the monitor.

There is a little boy with me.  He is having a slumber party with a friend of his who he is trying out as a sibling.  I think he is considering whether he wants a sibling or not.  He tells me it was fun for the first day but that the baby sleeps too much so we should leave and go on our way.  Feeling this is an acceptable response I gather my things and ready myself to go.

I am now looking for my desk chair to take with me.  I reminisce back to the day I first sat in this chair.  We were making shoes, Santa’s shoes.  We were deciding which souls to put in them.  I can see the leather shoes Peter Jelen is stitching for me.  (I met Peter at the Green Man Festival one year in Greenbelt and he made some shoes for me.  I had him make the shoes with an ambigram of the word DNA.  The letters were cursive and read the same right side up or upside down.)  In the dream, I can see the red and green shoes he is stitching together.  They are still without souls.  I look around me for material suitable for the souls.  I know the material needs to be durable and long lasting because their journey is long.

444 A Passing Grade

 

January 13, 2019

This is a series of vignettes from a few dreams I had over the last two nights each on its own didn’t seem worth journaling but as a group may offer some insight.

The first dream which I hesitate to even call a dream because it was simply messages or affirmations that kept repeating over and over and over again.  Everything shown me was very exact, bound, deliberate, and determinative.  My fate or the results was crystal clear.  There could only be one outcome only one conclusion.  There was no ambiguity.  I’m sure there were images in my mind but they were not moving more like pictures or a report or summation of results.  What was shown me was not important.  What was important was the results. I didn’t retain any of the images I simply retained the message.  I somehow knew it had to do with the baby and what my life would become.  The result of my life felt very good.  There was conviction and power conveyed in the messages.  When I woke up,  I remember feeling very good about what I’ve accomplished in life.  It was similar to the feeling when you achieved a high score on a test.

The next day I had a similar dream.  I am given a grade a report card which reads, 444.  In the dream the grade is given to me for having dog sat for my friend Stephen.  I am staying at his house.   I remember taking the dog out for a walk and coming back to the house and noticing the dogs feet were a bit dirty but thinking to myself dogs are supposed to have muddy paws.  I remember looking around Stephens house and seeing him in his room asleep.   I walk into the living room with the dog and notice there are 3 pianos in the room.  I think I can choose to play any one of these.  Stephen wakes up and explains the grading system to me.  He says, the grade is determined by how well I walk the dog.

In the morning when I woke up, I’n my minds eye I could see two young men on bicycles.  One trailing the other close behind.  As the peddled they each would put there head down periodically such that I could only see their hair.  I remember thinking I wish they would look at me and then they did.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

I looked up the numerological meaning of 444.

Repetitively seeing 444 is a blessing. Seeing 3-digit number patterns like 444 is a sign that you’re receiving divine messages from higher realms.  These angel messages are very important to you at this time of your life and they serve as clues or guideposts to help you along your journey. Because you’re `always being guided, have faith that you have total divine support.

Above all, when you see number 444 repeatedly, the Universe wants you to know that whatever you’re going through, you’re going to be okay.  Just remember that your guardian angel was assigned to protect you in all ways – so hold on and persevere, follow your inner compass that points toward the light, and you’ll get through this safely. That’s a promise.

https://willowsoul.com

He’Wanna Believe

January 8th, 2019

Last night’s was very much like the Baghdaddy dream I had the previous night in that it felt so real I was sure I was not dreaming.  Even though there are things happening that are not possible in the real world I somehow was so convinced it was in fact real.

In the dream,  I am with my MKP Brothers attending an event at a hotel.   The night is quite festive.  There is even a drag show where some guests are naked.  I want to join in the festivities because it looks like everyone is having a roaring great time.  I proceed to take off my clothes and drop them off on the bed.  The night proceeds where we are having such a good time.  I next find myself in a conga line to enter a dance hall where the drag performance is to take place.  A person is collecting tickets to enter.  I’m told since I don’t have a ticket simply pull one out of the box where she is collecting the tickets and put it back in.  I do exactly that.  The person collecting tickets waves me on into the event.

The drag show is sensational.  The colors and music and festivities are so captivating.  The energy here is simply intoxicating so much it causes me to loose track of time or whereabouts.  After a long night of party, I decide it is time to return to gather my cloths but I can’t remember where the room is or in whose name the room is registered.  My wallet, phone and identification are with my clothes.  My consciousness in a moment of full awareness floats over the city trying to pin down where the hotel room is located. My awareness returns to my body and I decide to leave the dance hall through the exit door.

The door places me in the lower level concourse of the building with no sense of direction I simply start walking toward whence I came.  I think to ask someone on the hotel staff to assist me but I don’t even know the name under which the reservation is held.  I simply walk and eventually my inner counsel guides me to the place where I laid my cloths but my cloths are no longer there.  I can see where they once laid an etheric impression of where my clothes lay.    I pick up the cell phone and notice it only has one bar and 10% power remaining.  I am going to have to find my way home on my own.

I now find myself on a street.  I decide to start walking,  any direction will do.  I come to a cull-de-sac and decide to cut through the houses assuming there is short cut between the houses.  I come to a short wall and look over the wall.  It is a manageable jump should I choose to take it.  The homes are closing in on me allowing me very little space to maneuver.  I peak over the wall once again and notice it is about 11 feet high now a much more deadly jump.  I pause and complain inwardly to the dream for changing things on me.  I am now in a tiny alleyway between the two houses pinned in with nowhere to go.  The windows and doors are now faux windows leading nowhere.  The doors don’t even open.  With no more options except to jump over the wall a door opens and in walks a young man.  He is one of the men from the drag show.  He is no longer in drag but I can still see some feminine qualities to him remaining.  I ask myself how is it that he was able to open a door.  While the door is open, I can see beyond the door at all the possibilities waiting just beyond the door.

The door closes with both of us now confined in this small space I decide we should look for things to do to make ourselves useful given we have no choice but to exist here.  The space begins expanding showing the makings of a swimming pool.  It needs cleaning and construction to bring it up to a point of swimming.  A courtyard proceeds to unfold.  There is a birdcage that now hangs from the eves of the house in which a small iguana and hamster live.  Both seem to be friendly with one another.  A small yellow finch flies into the cage.  The slats are wide enough to allow the finch to fly in and out with ease.  The bird doesn’t seem to be worried about the iguana.  They all seem to cohabitate harmoniously together.

I poke my finger in the cage to pet the yellow finch.  It allows me to pet it’s head then passes through the cage to perch on my finger.  I have completely forgotten that I am confined in this space when I hear a Godly voice say, “Only I open doors, believe in me.”   The iguana and the hamster are now personified as people living in the cage.  I tell them I believe because God has opened doors for me.  The iguana looks at me with one eye half closed.  I can read his mind.  I tell him not to worry, he need only open both eyes and believe.

~~~ DREAM ENDS

It reminded me of the BaghDaddy dream because of how real it felt to be there and how long it was taking.  The dream seemed to not want to end when I was lost and trapped not knowing how to return home.  The dream would simply not end.  Confronted with the realization, This is my reality,  I looked for new possibilities.  I looked for things to do and create to make use of myself in this tiny space.  I loved loved loved loved the ending.  Out of nowhere comes the voice of God.  I just need humble myself and ask for help and believe he/she will open doors.  I also loved the play on words.  I guess all I have to do is trust in my inner voice.

 

Shattering of the Universe; How Magick Happens

December 26, 2018

Last night’s dream was very cool.  I was watching Harry Potter before going to bed and I wondered if there was a train platform numbered 9 3/4 in my dream where magick happens and if my dreams have a school of Hogwarts for teaching magick.  I fell asleep with the thought.

In the dream, I find myself at work.  I am friendly with the guy who is the parking attendant for my building.  His company owns several businesses including several parking lots.  Since his workers don’t make a lot of money, he offers them investment tips.  On this day, I over hear him giving out some tips in the way of business news.  I then go about my business.

At work one of my coworkers is Marcus who is a very heavy set black guy who reminds me of the Marcus from MKP.  He is also gay as is Marcus from MKP.  In talking to Marcus, I notice his beautiful qualities and his inner potential.  Even though he is over weight, I help him see a bright future for himself.  In talking to him, something he tells me rings true with the conversation I overheard early regarding the business news.  Today’s news I believe Marcus can apply directly to his life.  Marcus is very excited and begins believing in himself.  He is loosing weight and is wearing a beautiful blue dress.  His hair is long and his makeup is done up nicely.  He likes dressing to accentuate his feminine side.

The next morning, I tell Marcus to meet me at the parking lot where I can introduce him to the parking lot attendant.  We are waiting just outside the parking booth for the attendant to arrive with today’s business news.  After he offers the news to his employees, I get his attention and introduce Marcus.  I stutter in explaining how he can possibly help Marcus.  My inner dialog doesn’t want to seem as if I am asking for his help under an Affirmative Action because he is black.  I want him to know I believe in Marcus and I think he can benefit greatly from his assistance.  As if to read my mind, the parking attendant tells me not to worry, he will help Marcus as I’ve indicated.  Excited with his approval I look at Marcus who now looks stunning.  I pause for a moment to see how Marcus has changed.  I think to myself, “I could really love someone as beautiful as Marcus.”

We walk together back to our office.  Marcus is very excited on his new prospects for the future.  I am happy to have been able to help him in this way.  A truck is driving out of the parking lot and down a road where there is construction.  He drives over a pot hole.  I yell don’t do it you won’t survive the fall.  His car splits in two and is swallowed up by the river that runs along side the road.  I tell Marcus he will have to pluck his car out of the river now.  Marcus and I continue walking.  As we walk, Marcus comes up with a way to apply this new knowledge to help the man recover his truck.  He is eager to help someone.  He comes up with a way to create a sonic boom.  The boom will fragment the Universe shattering it to pieces just enough for the man to recover his truck from the river.  The shattering of the Universe allows us to easily rearrange the pieces of the truck.

The idea works as the boom sounds.  The Universe now looks like a mosaic.  Through the cracks a worm hole appears and a beautiful lavender light comes rushing in.  I see and understand how magick happens.  I realize it is Marcus who helps me.

The Cosmic Egg


December 3rd, 2018

Last night’s dream was absolutely incredible.  My body is being elevated.  I am ascending in the universe at an incredible speed.  I can see the stars all around me.  I come to a point in space where a picture frame hangs in front of me.  I am positioned at a 45 degree angle to the frame.  The frame is metallic and in the center is a white egg shape symbol.  The frame is reflective much like a mirror.

Out of the blue I decide to hold my right palm in front of the image much like swearing an oath to the object but my intention is to offer the object a blessing by sending it healing energy.  The egg begins radiating an intense light.  I am amazed at how beautiful the light appears in the heavens.

The light causes an elevator door to appear to the right of the frame.  I notice many beings approaching from the left.  I turn to look at the beings now congregating around the frame, immediately to my left.  Taking a good look at them I can see they are shadows of angels because they all have wings.

The elevator door opens and a man appears in the elevator.  The man has dark olive skin and wears a big head dress.  His face looks larger than a typical human might look but yet he has human features.  I wonder if he might be an alien or a heavenly being.  I wonder if this is some kind of space ship.  Why would he need an elevator?  Not wanting the man to see me I take two steps back to blend in and hide among the angles present.  Feeling as though I’m not quite camouflaged sufficiently behind the angels I take two steps to my right.  This last move places me more in line of sight with the being in the elevator.  I turn to slightly giving him my profile.  I can still see his profile out of the corner of my eye.  The man’s features are striking and I wonder if I am the man.  I ponder the coincidence he too offers me his profile.

All of the sudden my consciousness begins to fly at an incredible speed ascending even higher traversing many levels of the stratosphere.  I turn to look behind me to see what happened to the angels who were standing with me.  They appear to be following in flight right behind me.  I attempt to understand what is going on and wonder if I am trying to flee or if they are simply following me.  I turn again to wave at the angels behind me.  The wave causes a few of the angels to dissipate but they are quickly replaced by more angels.

I then find myself in a cargo bay with all the angels we are sitting around after a long flight.  It feels like we are getting comfortable maybe taking off our shoes or flight gear and getting dressed into our normal day cloths.  As I look around I can see their faces clearly and I think to myself, I need to remember all this because it is so incredible.  Someone looks at me as if reading my mind and gives me a peace sign with two fingers.  He is indicating there are two types of dreams, one which I’m familiar with and the other ….. he goes silent here even though he is not really saying anything but yet he is communicating with me.  The second type are those you feel but instead of messaging me telepathically he sends me his feelings.

We Are Here

October 17, 2018

In last night’s dream I am with a group of people.  We are enjoying some casual social fun yet working in some capacity.  It is work that is casually fun and social.  A man and woman come up to the podium where I  am stationed and discretely offer me a sandwich bag with squarely folded money.  Along with the money are shavings of white chocolate.  They also offer me a transparent box with an assortment of deserts, danishes and ice cream.  The man and wife identify themselves as old friends.  I take a contemplative second look at them and immediately recognize them.  The man says the sandwich bag is for my personal consumption.  He instructs me to offer the box of deserts to my coworkers.

Inside the box is an ice cream cone with a caramel top nuts.   The cone is beginning to melt so I take it for myself and offer the remaining items to those around me.  I am very happy to see the man and wife.  They follow me as we walk around.  We are in Los Angeles.  We reminisce as we walk past the areas where we used to live.  We arrive at an apartment building with an exterior flight of stairs.   As we walk up the stairs the the woman sees a billboard in the distance and remarks to herself as if speaking to the billboard.  The billboard is a picture of my mom and dad.  The man says to the woman, “Would you stop talking to the billboard, we are here.