Baby Blue Ceremonial Dress

My mom and her sisters are all wearing similar dresses that my aunt Helen made.  The dresses are white and baby blue.  There is a room with some old sofas where some young adolescents are hanging out some are trying to sleep there.  The beds do not have mattresses just the springs upon which the cushions would go so they have laid comforters over the springs to lessen the pain.  They are installing a peep hole but this peep hole is about 3 inches in diameter and about a foot long with a large camera inside that allows you to look to the other side.  I pause to think, “That is the largest peep hole I’ve ever seen.”  My mom wears her dress ceremoniously along with her sisters.  I can see them crossing the street walking one after the other.  My mom changes into another dress immediately after the processional crossing.  I ask, why she took the dress off to which I’m not really given a straight answer.  I get the impression she wants to maintain its significance.

Bug In Mouth

June 26, 2018

This dream is so incredible.  I am fully lucid during the entire time.  It was so intense with information the best I can do to represent it is a mash up of what i learned.   I find myself doing things spirits do and I am so present and aware of my presence I believe I must have died.  I’m not too concerned about being dead I figure it will be true or it won’t.  I take advantage of the situation to explore the mechanics and properties of my surroundings.  I spend a great deal of time learning new things.  I learn about my mission, how things work. I visit parts of my life and how they are connected.  I look at motives, aspects of myself, I look at vices and my desires toward selfish things.  I learn how I can shift those desires toward holding space for goodness and clean healthy desire.  I study what happens when I make the choices I take.  How my choices influence and affect my life at different times and how those choices relate to or affect my spiritual condition and where those actions place me on my path.

I have the ability of flight and am succeeding at it yet I am aware there is more to learn.  I am able to test things and discover the impact on the ethers based on my actions.  I become of aware of the connection between my waking state and the dream state and how they influence each other.  It becomes clear I cannot do it alone.  I must help others because in reality I am in everyone and everyone is in me.  There is nothing that distinguishes me from another person.  I must help others regardless if they are friend or foe.  I look at what happens when I try to hoard things and the desire to want and preserve things exclusively for myself.

I look at reincarnation and I understand how some people are able to go through life putting very little effort and still being able to achieve things banking on spiritual rewards from previous lives.  I understand what creates generous people.  I understand how hoarding things for myself actually pulls me back and limits my growth.  It is in giving that we receive.  I look at my own greed and the desire to preserve myself.  I look at how I can temper this desire and transform it to serve a greater good and at the same time enriching me. Those things shared are multiplied 10 fold.

I am able to talk to people without actually speaking and they understand me and I understand them.  By examining my behavior I understand what to do and when to do the right thing that which brings about the greatest good.  I learn how to share of myself and how much to share, allowing people their process and how to guide my own actions so that I am not trying to control outcomes.  The moral of the story is we are interconnected and yet we are also individuals, like children of each other.  It seems an oxymoron but it is true.  We are one and the same.

I learn the inner light reflects and projects itself into the outer world.  I am able to see myself and I see how I show my light to others and how I receive light from others like a matrix and by angling our light we experience the whole of our collective our greater self.  To come to know the whole I must collect all aspects of the light so I must be able to connect with everyone with an open mind.  It’s through sharing and receiving this light that we grow an evolve into higher states of consciousness. 

I came to understand my want to have a partner as something maybe I don’t need to want, maybe I don’t need to spend time obsessing about whether I have someone in my life or not. Maybe these things will come in their own time and of their own accord.  They will come by simply focusing on the present while fully engaged, fully open to those things I desire will come.

My back is connected to some kind of balloon. I hear the rubber of the balloon  against my body.  I realize in the end everything comes together in accordance to a divine plan.  I do not need to fear anything.  I do not need to control anything.  Unexpected things happen when I get out of my way.  We sabotage our own plans when we attempt to control outcomes.  There is divine order in the process if we allow it it will unfold naturally.   Maybe we do agree to come back to experience suffering.

I find myself so engrossed with the inner workings of the dream.  I am fascinated with how the dream constructs this reality that defies the laws of physics.   I worry about the amount of time it will take me to fully understand it.  I realize time does not exist and I have all the time in the world.  I can literally stop the clock and ponder my present state for as long as I need.  Which means I can take the time to fix or rearrange things to pause life never waists time. I can pray and meditate anytime.

I examine my own behavior.  There is someone behind me trying to take something from me.  I turn and look to see who is trying to take energy from me.  Selfish desires bring me back to a lower state.  People feed off my energy but those people who are steeling my energy turn out to be me.  As I turn to look I see a man, I am the man a copy of me.  From a distance, I look into his eyes and asked him,  “If you have my body why did you take it? He responds, I never had a body.  We are faeries with distinct bodies yet we share the same spirit. You have a body.”  He gives me the analogy of me and my dog.  We are one in spirit.  My dog is a splinter of me.   We have distinct bodies yet very different bodies.  We coexist one depending on the other.  We can pass through each other, we share stories, we empathize, we have myths.

I recognize I carry part of your psyche into the dream. We have an innate need for self preservation and survival.  We have not learned that we are the same.   In the dream I try to respond to things with my waking psyche but I can evolve and embrace a new paradigm to encompass the properties of the dream which are the same as those in the spirit world.  I must expand my awareness to encompass a new paradigm.

At the end I allow myself to fly down to the ground to see if my etheric body can pass through the ground.  As the ground resists my etheric body a ladybug crawls in my mouth.  I awake.

 

THE BABY IS IN THE BAG!

 Kari Strand http://jpgmag.com/photos/3110860
Picture by Kari Strand

June 22, 2018

While on my first MKP Staffing at Claymont Court in Charles Town, WVa it was my first night there we had arrived on the 21st and as customary I was eager to have a dream to share in open circle this morning.  When I was about to wake up I remembered, don’t forget you’re bags.  My mind wanted to recover the dream but the dream interpreted it as my bags.  So I returned to the dream.

I re-enter the dream space to recover my bags.  Sitting in the the right side of an otherwise empty room is one of those grocery shopping bags you take with you to the market to avoid using plastic bags.  I rush over and quickly grab the straps of the bag.  As I turn I become aware of the walls in the dream which are constructed of flowing energy the energy is alive like colonies of ants withing bubbles that float to and fro across the canvas waiting their next assignment.  I recall my purpose completing my turn and glimpse the contents of the bag.  I am expecting to see my cloths and sheets and other articles from the weekend adventure but instead deep in the bad is a baby swaddled in a blanket sleeping.    The surprise jars me awake.

In morning circle I shared my dream and as I was sharing it the meaning hit me, The Baby is in the Bag.  It is quite coincidental I found this picture on the net with a baby boy in a King grocery bag.  If you are familiar with the work men do within Mankind Project you would know we look at our shadows and the archetypes of King, Magician, Warrior and Lover in mythological story of Iron John so the picture seemed PERFECTLY suited for my dream.

 

 

 

Sketch: Side Shoot Process

June 18, 2018

I had a dream that kept repeating all night long.  Every time I rolled over or slightly woke to readjust myself or drink water (i was thirsty all night) I would think about the focus of the dream.  The message was that something had to happen first; a side shoot process.  I clearly see the process in my mind. I held it in my right hand and the main process is in my left hand.  Everyone in my dream seems to want to jump the gun and move directly to the main process.  I keep having to correct them and remind them about the process and showing them what is in my right hand which must come first.  Everyone is excited about moving forward.  The process seems to relate to the surrogacy.  I describe the main process as getting pregnant and implanting the embryo.  The side process I equate to finalizing the legal contract which must come first.  Every time I woke up during the night I felt so good about what was happening around me in the dream.  I feel confident and assured in the process.

The last time I I woke up to roll over I began a new dream which served to clarified the process in my right.  I am in a prison of sorts under confinement.  I don’t necessarily belong here I just happen to appear in the dream in this place.  My friend Quetta is with me.  We are talking and talking and exploring the various realms within the dreamland.  I sense it is time to go as the gates of the prison are closing.  I believe they suspect I am here and want to confine me or entrap me.  We start walking toward the exit or an opening which we believe to be the exit.  As we approach, I sense this to be what the opposing force wants me to do to confine me.  I am unafraid and therefore continue walking toward the opening.  I pass by a set of windows where the guards are seated inside.  I wave at them putting my thumbs in my ears and fanning my palms just like kids do to mock someone.  They immediately react.  I believe I caught them off guard not expecting me to approach this close to them within their territory.  The opening becomes narrower and narrower.   I remain unafraid.  I’m told of an alternate route through which we can pass.  There is a train beyond the opening.  If we can make it onto the train we will be free.  We seem to be high up on the walls looking down on the doors below us.   If we are to leave through the doors we must descend the wall.  Knowing I wouldn’t be able to descend a wall like that in physical form I choose instead to ascend using my dream powers.  As I ascend, my body passes by  a watch tower where another set of guards are stationed.  Again they see me and scramble.  I wave to them in the same way.

I now find myself on the train platform.  The train has just arrived and the doors are now open.  I embark the train but realize I have lost contact with my friend Quetta.  I pause for a moment and wonder if he might have gotten on the train.  Then I remember Quetta is passed away and is no longer with us on earth.  Knowing he is ok and possibly still with me invisible I continue onto the train.  I have no idea where I’m headed.  I sit on the seat and remember I have left my car in the parking lot of the prison.   Yet I’m not worried since I don’t seem to need it for the moment.

As the train departs, my consciousness takes flight.  Instead of simply leaving this place I hover around taking note of what is happening below me.  I recall other dreams where I am able to fly at extreme heights.  I try to ascend to those heights but something seems to be holding me back.  I am on the train.  Trying a new thought, I wonder if I can possibly swivel my seat one would assume the train seat is fixed.  With the thought my seat swivels responding to my want and desire.  Once again I take the opportunity to swivel back and forth over the area now controlling the direction the train is going.  I am able to overlook the space of my confinement to examine how things work here and learn the inner workings and relationships at play.  Those who are following me are simply feet away.

I become aware Quetta is still with me somewhere at a distance.  I am somehow still able to communicate with him.  I tell him there are those who pursue me trying to impede my progress.  I say it very matter of fact as an observation and simply move on with our conversation picking up where we had left off.  I feel like a kite in the air flying too and fro with no real urgency to go in any which direction.  I think eventually I may need to find a hotel to stay in and possibly reclaim my car.  We decide to send someone else for my car and learn the vehicle has been removed and confiscated by the opposition.  I lament briefly believing it was a nice Mercedes but thinking after all it is just a car.

The dream ends here but before it ended I am presented with a few images.  The images look like pencil drawings; outlines.  The first image has the most detail quite possibly the finished product a vision of what is to come.  The screen is erased.  A new image appears.  I see every line being drawn on the canvas until the image is complete.  It too is erased.  Once again a new image appear slowly line by line.  This process repeats with each iteration of the same image differing slightly and with each successive iteration becoming more simplified.  The final few iterations vert simple and they serve as lessons on how the canvas is drawn.  I am allowed to see the lines as they are drawn in slow motion.  The lines have form and intent.  I can see they are purposeful and not random.

 

 

IMAGE: Title: Penn’s greene country towne; pen and pencil sketches of early Philadelphia and its prominent characters
Year: 1903 (1900s)
Authors: Hotchkin, S[amuel] F[itch], 1833- [from old catalog]
Subjects: Penn, William, 1644-1718
Publisher: Philadelphia, Ferris & Leach
Contributing Library: The Library of Congress
Digitizing Sponsor: Sloan Foundation

Journeyman: Maggie’s Dragonfly

June 15, 2018

I don’t remember much of last nights dream except for the very end after having gone to the bathroom to wiz and during my snoozing i came face to face with a man.  He is the same man from my previous dream.  I am the man.  It feels like the dream wants to give me another opportunity to see myself as I truly am.  This time instead of the image of the man as a picture it is the actual man with substance and form.  However his substance is etheric.  His body is luminescent pale grey and somewhat transparent.  His features are clearly detailed by the hand of a master.  His eye are light blue and his iris’s are full with detail.  I gaze directly into his pupils to see deep within his soul.  His presence remained with me for a fair amount of time in this fully lucid and semi awake state.  I understood this being to be my higher self the greater part of me which is all knowing which transcends time and space.

I am presented with a post card.  The post card is addressed to me.  Where the stamp would go is his image just as he appeared to me over which is the postal carriers seal.  The post card details his journey and the places he has been and his many experiences.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

 

I am often left in a state of awe.  Today is one of those days.  Just yesterday my surrogate IM shared something quite amazing that relates to my dreams in a very special way.  While at Lowes something caught her daughter’s eye when she realized there was a dragonfly trapped in the greenhouse.  She was able to get it onto her hand and walk out to the open garden section where it could fly free.  It flew away but quickly looped back to her and paused for a minute before leaving completely.

Now one might say oh just a dragonfly who cares but in light of the dreams I’ve had recently with dragonflies and the connection to the surrogacy process they bring its just one more affirmation from spirit confirming what is in the heavens being materialized.  Now this was no ordinary dragonfly this one was huge.  Most of the ones I’ve ever seen have been small 1 or 2 inches.  This one was extra large maybe 4 inches with an incredible wingspan.  The dragonfly sat perfectly still on her daughters hand while she journeyed through the store  and outside.  She shared this image.

 

Swiss Privilege

June 13, 2018

I am somewhere like the Swiss Alps up in the mountains.   There has been an emergency evacuation of the building and now I need to find my way back to the 7th floor where I work.  I am standing near the elevator but I am not sure what floor I am on.  I ask someone nearby which way is it to the 7th floor.  I am told I can go either up or down but I must take the stairs to get there.   I decide to go down and end up on the 1st floor.  Once on the first floor I see my coworker Bing walking up the steps.  She pauses on the landing where I am standing and asks me if this is the right place.  She places a post-it note on the ground in front of me.  It has writing on it.  I attempt to read the note knowing my ability to read things in dreams is always difficult.  Although I can’t make out what it says,  I recognize the trademark information it contains to be privileged or top secret.   I tell her she shouldn’t disclose the information because the information is actively being sought out and is top secret.

Post It Ruben

I woke up briefly in the middle of the night to roll over half asleep and still dreaming,  I got comfy in my new position.  I then saw a group of post-it notes fly in front of me as if on a cloths line.  The post-its dangled forcefully in front of me as if to imply, THIS IS IMPORTANT.  As I examine the writing i notice the writing is in cursive in a faint baby blue color.  I can barely make out what it says.  Knowing I won’t be able to translate it literally since I am never really successful in reading things in dreams,  I take in the note in it’s entirety allowing myself to feel the writing. I imagine myself as the writer and what i felt at the time the note was written.  What message do I want to tell myself right now?  Still awake in real life, I think to myself, “you better grab your voice recorder under my pillow and try to record what is on the note..  But my tired eyes would not allow the movement of my arms.

The scene changes and now in place of post-it notes I see faces on the line just like the post-it notes.  They are still images of a man.  I recognize the man.  It is me.  The picture is of me but it is not a me I recognize yet I know the person in the image to be me.  I am the man in the picture.

I then fell deep into my sleep no longer recalling anything that came after.

The minute I woke up in the morning I had the thought, “that was an important dream that must be noted.”  I struggled to reflect for a moment what was so important to remember.  I thought you’ll never remember since I knew it occurred in the middle of the night and I was doubtful I had recorded anything on my voice recorder.  It then came rushing back.  I could see once again the post-it notes and the face of the man.

I found this image of anti-bullying post-it notes from Spring High School in Eugene Oregon.

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Cactus Pod

June 10, 2018

I am signed up to take a course that teaches you how to produce medicine from a cactus plant.  We are instructed to bring a cactus to the class in order to participate in the experiment.  I buy two cactus one is a tiny baby cactus that is barely the size of a pee.  The other is considerably larger.  While at the store, I notice they have a sale on iPods the tiny ones like the one my ex Joe bought me to hang around my neck.  I ask the person selling them how much they cost.  The woman tells me they all are $24 dollars monthly.  I want to know the cost to buy it out right.  They offer several models which they display on maps.

Button Recruiter

June 9th, 2018

Vignette:  I remember seeing large trucks that have encircled the city.  The trucks are so close to the pedestrians I feel trapped by them.  I am standing on the sidewalk and one of the trucks nearly runs over my toes.  It literally clips the tips of the souls of my shoes.

Main Dream: Someone calls me looking for a job so I become his recruiter.  He presents his qualifications including his medical records and I offer him assistance in preparing his resume for the questions he might be asked in the interview process.  He meets with my bosses yet my bosses aren’t aware that he was coached by me.  They are very impressed by his resume and he gets the job based on his preparedness.  Slowly over time it is revealed that I coached him in the process.  I hear someone say,  “No wonder he is so well prepared.”  I apparently don’t work close to their group I just happen to know a great deal about what they do and what they are looking to create. We are all sitting around a conference table.

I excuse myself and get up to go the the bathroom for number 2. As I enter the bathroom I am given a button to turn on the lights.   It functions as a remote control.  The button controls the lights in the house. including the bathroom.  They suggest I take the button with me into my waking life.  I sit on the pot to focus on relieving myself all the while examining the button in my hand.  Feeling relieved I return to the conference room holding my button.  I am told the button is a new piece of technology the group has been working on.  They  are offering me the button in recognition of my contribution to the technology by having prepped the guy.  They encourage me to take the button with me.  As they are explaining the technology I am sensing something is not quite right.  I still have the urge to pee.  Knowing I’m in a dream I tell them I have to really go to the bathroom.  They motion to me to press the button.  I press the button and immediately wake up in real life.

~~~~~ Dream Ends Here.

After waking up I thought how unusual that in the dream I had to use the bathroom.  I don’t remember ever using a restroom in a dream.  I have been in a dream bathroom before but never actually believed I was actually using the restroom to relieve myself.  I definitely didn’t go number 2 in my bed.  I remember being in the conference room and needing it.  I even excused myself to go.  I apparently knew where this dream bathroom was located.  It was in the bathroom where I was given the button.  So if that part of the dream only happened because I really needed to go then did the dream create a bathroom on the fly for me to use.  I remember it being a normal bathroom.  The buttons were on the counter.  I was told to take one and specifically to take one back with me implying that I was in a dream and I was expected to return.  At that moment I didn’t fully understand.  I assumed it meant to take it back to the conference room.  After using what I thought was number 2 and feeling relieved I took the button with me back to the conference room.  That’s when they explained what the button was for.  It was what they were creating.  It was the work for which they hired the guy I prepped for the job.  The button is a remote control to turn the light on.  I was to take it back with me into my waking life.  When I realize I still had to use the bathroom and attempted to excuse myself again they instructed me to push the button.  I immediately woke up.

When I woke up I recognized the button as something I already have in waking life.  Its a night light.

Last Word: I initially recorded the dream with my voice recorder but when I sat down to journal it I journaled it from memory.  Interestingly the vignette i didn’t remember until after I heard the recording and so I added it in.  The weird part is tonight I almost ran over a pedestrian.  I was coming up a main road and along the side walk were a line of people waiting to go into a bar / restaurant.  I wasn’t traveling that fast when a guy decided to cross the street.  There was a cross walk there but no light.  I thought he was waiting in line with the rest of the people standing on the sidewalk.  For some reason he just began crossing.  I slammed on the break and nearly ran over his toes.  I was just telling my Airbnb guest about what happened before I sat down at my computer to listen to the recording.  The first thing i hear is the vignette.  How coincidental that I nearly ran someone over just like in the dream.

Look At Me Bobby

June 6th, 2018

I had a dream where my mom has a museum where she displays artifacts from history.  The artifacts have religious or spiritual connotations.  Things like tuning bowls, instruments, mandalas etc.  My mom lives in the house behind the museum.  Someone comes into the museum looking for her wanting to borrow my bike. The person is a cousin possibly Victor.  I’m thinking I hope my mom hasn’t started lending out my things to people because these things are things I cherish and have great value and memories tied to them.  I don’t seem to remember how to get to her house.  He tells me they need access to the water lines.  As he is leaving, I tell him,  I am the son of Otilia.  I then discretely follow behind him knowing if I follow him he will lead me to where my mom is or lives.  I may learn more about my mom.  Behind the house is a natural body of water which is very deep.  The water glows orange and yellow in the light of the sun.  He now has lion hair and a furr coat on.  He now reminds me of my cousin Jeannette.  She dives in to retrieve what they need to access the water main.  When she comes out at the other end I tell her she didn’t have to jump in the water with her coat on.  She then takes the coat off to dry it and now she is a man with a beautiful hairy chest.  I think to myself, why would you cover that up his beautiful furry chest with a furr coat?  He rushes off to get his firetruck.  I am looking in the direction where he went waiting to see him return when from behind a truck and trailer approach.  The truck has no sides or top.  I ask him if it is legal to drive around like that.  He gets off the truck and tells me this is his firetruck.

Scenes flash before me like short 3 second movie clips.  Messages from these people come rushing in.  In one clip, I see my son when he is young.  I stop the clip because after all its my dream and I want to see my son.  The dream pauses for just a moment long enough for me to get a good look.

(Click on above image it’s a 3 second clip)

In the time span of a breath I take in his image.  Feeling complete I exhale allowing the dream to continue.  I then see a man who looks at me.  I am still coming off the intense high of seeing my son so I am not paying much attention to anything else.  I feel like I have what I came for.  Again he makes a facial gesture indicating he too has a message for me.  I am still unable to focus.  He looks directly into my eyes and says,  “Look at me.”  I pause long enough for me to get a good look at this man.  The dream ends here as his image slowly fades from my mind.  Who is this man?

~~~~ DREAM ENDS HERE

I then woke up and recorded the details of the dream.  After my coffee I wanted to know who this man was.  Why was it so important for me to look into his eyes.  I said a prayer and walked into my library glancing slowly at the pictures on the shelves.  I wanted to find a picture with someone I can look into their eyes.  I then came to my Grandmothers photograph.  I stared at my Grandma for a few minutes and felt complete.

I then went upstairs to start my day.  The man’s face a man I’ve never seen before yet clear as day in my mind’s eye sat there not wanting to leave me.  I turned on the TV to watch MSNBC.  The news was having a segment honoring Robert F Kennedy.  It was a long segment on his life.  I am slightly annoyed because I want the regular news.  What is going on with Bobby Kennedy today that they are taking so much time recounting his life.  They then turned to a picture of him and OMG it was his face in my dream.  It was his face exactly.

I then went online to look for pictures of him to possibly look into his eyes.  Come to find out today it is the 50th anniversary of his death.  He died 50 years ago at Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Angeles.

My grandmother Simona Camargo also died at Good Samaritan Hospital when I was in the 8th grade probably 1978.  This is the picture I have of my Grandmother in my library.  I worked at Good Samaritan as a candy stripper the summer she died.  My aunt Helen also worked there as a nurse.  I thought it unusual when I came to her picture how perfect it felt to looking into her eyes.  I felt it must have been her.  I thought maybe my grandma came to me as a man in my dream but why would she do that?  Apparently there was so much more to be told.  What is the coincidence that today would be the anniversary of Bobby’s death.  Curious too the image I found online of bobby near the body of water is a 3 second clip much like the clips presented to me in the dream.  Had he possibly been swimming there in that picture?  And apparently he has a hairy chest.  So many coincidences.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it was OB I saw before this man showed his face.  Was it then OB all along showing me his firetruck?  I like the picture of Bobby and the little girl.  I imaging myself someday with OB.  I wonder is that was his daughter.  I don’t know much about Bobby Kennedy.  Was OB my Grandma and Bobby all in heaven conspiring to send me messages.  I think so. I am a blessed man to have a direct connection to the higher realms.

May you rest in Peace Bobby.  And to my Grandma I remember you like it was yesterday.  I will never forget you.  Le tengo mucho amor abuelita.