The APEX of Life

March 12, 2019

In last night’s dream, I am with OB. I am teaching the baby the ropes on the dream space. The baby is a young adult maybe in its mid-20’s. I can not see my child but I sense it’s presence over my shoulder as if riding piggy-back. I am confident in my training as I systematically walk through the lesson. We are trying to get back to my childhood elementary school to eat at their cafeteria. Along the way, we stop at my Junior high school since it is closer and happens to be on the way. The kids are monitoring the walk up food counter. We say hello and they show us the avocado sandwiches they have prepared for the day. I tell OB we need to continue and go all the way back.

We are almost there. We come to a street which is cordoned off by the police. Instead of the yellow tape the police use a thin baby blue tape which has high technology encoded into the tape. It reminds me of the LED lights used in my aquarium. I tell him they are probably surveilling our every move. We walk under and past the tape and arrive on the playground of my elementary school. It is early and only a few administrators are here. The children have yet to arrive. It occurs to me I should probably show OB how to fly. Even though the play ground where we are standing has more open space in which to demonstrate flight I choose instead to march on to the cafeteria which is the destination.

Now on the front steps of the cafeteria, I take a moment to demonstrate flight. Since there is less space here than on the playground I decide to shoot straight UP in the air. I soar like a rocket to heights not humanly possible. I have so much reserved energy I continue climbing in altitude even after I’ve stopped.

Now floating at the APEX of life and am still climbing from sheer inertia and momentum. I look down in the direction of the playground and wonder how am I supposed to land on the playground from this altitude. I have learned to fly but have I learned how to land? I assume it must be no different than landing from horizontal flight but the altitude is just so great. Slowly as my forward momentum decreases I begin to descend back down and land gracefully on the walkway between the cafeteria and the playground. I feel a sense of accomplishment having successfully taught OB how to fly and returned to my point of origin.

~~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

This dream had striking similarity to my dream Wait One Cent (October 15, 1995). I’ve always known this dream to be a pivotal moment in my life. It solidly connected me to my dreams and inspired me to write my book. It left me feeling, “More will be revealed.” It is why I journal dreams today. I’m still looking for clues to the “more” from beyond to guide my life. I think this APEX dream confirms another pivotal moment and that is deciding to have a baby. The dream My Mother’s Name Is Penny which I journaled in 2008 10 years before I even embarked on having a baby links OB with the my penny dream. Some day I will put together another book to tell the story of all the dreams that have guided me to this APEX of my life of having a baby.

Green Man Addendum – A Measure of Wheat for a Penny

April 6, 2018

Waking up this morning it felt reminiscent of the dream that i had 2 nights ago the night I couldn’t remember my dream.  This is because when I awoke I initially couldn’t remember a thing except for a phone call I had just received  before I woke up.  I heard someone’s cell phone ring next to me.  I looked over at the cell phone and thought it might be mine but on closer examination it wasn’t mine.  I thought I would answer it on behalf of the person whose cell phone it belonged to.  I answer and say, “Hello.”  The person on the other end asks to speak with Nevitt.  I sit up look around the room to see if there is a Nevitt here.  I then realize I’m dreaming and the only Nevitt I know is my neighbor who lives up the street.  It also occurs to me that anytime I hear my cell phone in a dream its from my guardian angel Jennifer.  I was reminded of this fact yesterday when I read my dream from my book which i posted yesterday.   This phone call just didn’t feel like a dream even though it was.  At this point I’m sitting up in my bed looking for the owner of the cell phone which I guess must be me since I am the dreamer.

I got myself up and headed for the bathroom struggling to remember any part of the dream leading up to the phone call.  I then recall seeing my mom carrying a large bird on her shoulder.  The bird had bright yellow feet.  I also recall walking in my mom’s back yard off of Loma Drive in Los Angeles where I see a set of spiral stairs that she had recently put in.  The stairs are made of concrete.  I recall the risers being very smooth and shallow hugging the slope of the hill.  The treads contained large gravel stones that created small impressions and bumps on the tread.   I remember thinking to myself that the steps appear to be very similar to the ones I had had placed in a very similar space.  How is it that they are the same as the ones I recall yet I don’t even recognize them.  There is a familiarity yet there is not.  It felt like a paradox.  I then recall a gathering of people who were celebrating with sparkling water which at first glance looks like Cognac because of the purity of the water and its slight yellow coloration.  This elixir they are serving is referred to as liquid viagra.   Knowing drinking doesn’t agree with me they also have several vials of colored water.  There are vials in every color of the rainbow.  I’m told these too are liquid viagra and suggest that I partake.  I walk over to examine the vials.  The quantities are going quickly as guys are coming over to help themselves.  I decide to take one or two for myself.  There aren’t enough remaining to represent a full rainbow anymore.  I hastily grab two then notice that the person behind behind me is left with only one.  Feeling empathy for him, I offer him mine.  The dream ended there.

So why the addendum? Well during my morning coffee I thought of ways to improve or add to my sacred space.  Calling on sacred objects from the past that I can place in the present to enhance my morning prayers.  I remembered I have a Buddha in the basement which this Buddha also has a host of history that I can share.  We’ve had many a late night conversation.  So I ran downstairs to bring her up.  I always refer to my Buddha statue in the feminine  because she has a feminine sounding voice in my head when she talks to me.  I placed her on a bar stool in the dining room where I can see her from where i sit to have my coffee and morning prayer.  Staring at her and sipping my coffee I realize she is green and she in fact is actually a man.  She is a Green Man.

So today now April 7th, 2018 (tells you how long it takes for a dream to unfold and for me to journal one) I had a PIT Training Course to attend.  PIT is a training that is offered to new Mankind Project Initiates.  I became a Warrior this past March 2nd weekend.  Anyways, the training was held in a Meditation Studio.  Up on the wall was a very large Buddha sitting lotus in a Yellow robe.  Coincidence I think not.

An interesting story around my coming to the Mankind Project relates to another very powerful dream I had.  Before I can tell you about this dream first I must preface it with a story.  It takes me back to the very beginning when … well I will let the book tell it.

 

A Measure of Wheat for a Penny

“And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.”  (Revelation 6:6 KJV)

 

For me, all the magic has revolved around a single penny–a wheat penny.  It began in the fall of 1995 with a series of precognitive dreams.  I had been seeing a therapist who suggested that I journal my dreams to help me get in touch with a host of unresolved issues. I felt very much an outcast.  I was poor, Hispanic, gay, and HIV positive.

I desperately wanted to reconcile my life to God.  My best friend had just passed away from AIDS and I did not want to die without coming to know God.  The precognitive dreams concerned a book that ironically my therapist had also asked me to read.  The book was “Iron John, A Book about Men”, by Robert Bly.  For the last three chapters of the book, I would dream the night before about chapters in the book I had yet to read.  How is it that I knew the story line of the last three chapters in the book before ever having set my eyes upon those pages?  Information that seemed at first to be meaningless hooked my interest and forced me to look around and ask, “Is someone or something out there, or is God trying to get my attention?”

The answer came in a subsequent dream.  This dream is the hallmark of all the dreams in my life. It led me to know there is a God setting everything into motion guiding my path toward self-actualization and revealing my purpose in life.

Dream: Wait One Cent (October 15, 1995)

I am working at an elementary school servicing the lunch lines for the kids. I usually eat my lunch before their lunch hour begins but today I do not have a meal ticket. The supervisor of the cafeteria tells me that she has an extra meal ticket that I can have but before I can have it, I must agree to pick up all the pennies that have fallen on the ground.  I agree and proceed to get down on my knees to collect the fallen pennies.  There are so many pennies that I cannot hold them all in my hands.  They begin falling out of my hands.  I am trying hard not to drop any while at the same time picking up the remaining pennies that are still on the ground.  I am anxious because I want to get my food before it is too late.  I finally get to the last penny and I notice it looks different from all the others.  It is a very old penny with much wear on it.  As I pick it up and look closely, I realize that it is a wheat penny.

 

The next day after I finished reading “Iron John”, I decided to stop after work at Borders Bookstore to buy another book.  At the suggestion of my therapist, I purchased, “Fire in the Belly, A Book about Being a Man”, by Sam Keen.  As I walked out of the store, I quickly took the book out of the bag to page through it.  Standing in front of Borders Books, I suddenly had a very strange feeling of déjà vu, except I could not pinpoint what it was that I had already seen or experienced.   Puzzled, I scratched my head and looked around to try to piece the puzzle together.  My eyes then fell to my feet and to my total disbelief I found myself standing in the middle of a bunch of pennies that someone had apparently dropped on the ground.  Memory of the dream immediately came rushing back into my mind.  There were no nickels, dimes or quarters; only a bunch of pennies.  I could not believe it.

This was apparently just another manifestation in a series of precognitive dreams.  I knew God had to be at work here. I just did not understand what he was trying to tell me.  Remembering the dream and knowing I had agreed to pick up the pennies, I got down on my knees to collect the fallen pennies.  One by one I picked them up.  Would the last penny in fact be a wheat penny?  I just knew in my heart that it had to be true.  I had called on God and this was God’s way of answering.  This was about a dream come true.  In my mind I prayed, “God, if there is something you want me to do, Lord, please make it clear to me now.”

There were dozens of pennies.  When I came to the last penny, I paused, not knowing what to expect.  Were the heavens going to open up?  Was I going to hear God’s voice?  Would an angel appear in front of me?  Since it was already nightfall, I picked up the last penny and stood up and walked over to the window display of the bookstore to have a close look at this miracle penny.  Upon examination and to my amazement the penny was in fact a wheat penny.

I felt overwhelming joy and peace in knowing God was really out there.  On the other hand, I still had no clue what he was trying to tell me. I had a great sense of frustration come over me in not knowing what was being asked of me. “What do you want me to do?”  All my energy drained from my body and I just stood there with my body and head pressed up against the bookstore display window.  With my eyes closed and tears of frustration running down my face, I called out to God, “Please God, what is it you want me to do?”  Nothing.  I heard no voice, I saw no divine apparition, nothing.

“Whatever, let’s go,” I heard my ego say to me.  I wiped my tears and as I opened my eyes and regained my composure, it suddenly hit me. The answer was staring me in the face. I could practically hear God’s voice saying, “I want you to write a book.”

This book is the fulfillment of that request.

 

The saying, “Pennies from Heaven”, took on a personal meaning for me and dream journaling became my connection to God.  For the next 10 years, God would confirm his lessons in my external world with synchronicity by placing pennies in my path for me to find at precisely the right place and time.  The synchronicity of the pennies became unmistakably God’s voice.  Interestingly enough I always found pennies in groups of ones or threes and I knew God in His own way was winking at me letting me know that I was on the right track.

 

For those 10 years not much happened; I did my dream work and studied anything and everything I could get my hands on: Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, Edgar Cayce, Self Realization Fellowship, philosophy, mysticism and mythology.  Having been raised Catholic, and being gay, I really did not have a good taste for Christianity.  However, with the sense that God really cared about me, I wanted to give Christianity another try and study it for myself instead of relying on what others had to say.  Therefore, I renewed my interest in Christianity and began studying the Bible independently and with different Christian denominations, including the Mormons. Of course, as soon as I told them I was gay, they all wanted me to renounce my so-called lifestyle choice and be baptized.  Since I would not do that, they eventually wrote me off as a lost soul and went about their business.  However, I knew that God had not abandoned me; he was with me.  I persisted in my independent study and eventually found a non-denominational Christian church that did accept me.  I was baptized by them since I felt baptism into the Catholic faith was not my conscious choice as an infant.

 

Things finally began to shift into high gear in the summer of 2005. I began to see with my eyes closed, colored lights panning back and forth in my field of vision when I was falling asleep at night.  Trying to find the cause of these lights, I researched the Internet and found instances where terminally ill patients often reported having mystical experiences similar to mine several months before dying.  Was I having a mystical experience?  More importantly, was I nearing my own death?  In November of that year, I took a trip to visit my parents in California.  While on that trip one day my sister and I were talking and out of the blue she shared with me that she had this synchronistic thing happening with finding pennies.  She had never shared her penny experiences with me and I never thought to share mine with her.  We looked at each other in disbelief.  I also shared with her my mystical experience of seeing the colored lights.  I affectionately termed the experience “my night lights”.

I took this coincidence to be a sign from God signaling me to put pen to paper or fingertips to keyboard and began the actual writing process for the book He had wanted me to write.  I still did not know what God wanted me to write about, but I assumed it had to do with my life experience and dream work as a source of divine guidance.

That trip was full of synchronicities but now the synchronicities were shared between me, my sister and the universe. Suddenly the phenomenon involved a person outside of me. We were like kids in a candy store. My sister and I began talking almost every day.

END EXCERPT

The coincidence here is that the Mankind Project basis much of it’s work on the story Iron John.

My Mother’s Name Is Penny

Last night I had a dream.  I receive in the mail a postcard addressed to a woman who does not live in my house.  The woman lives in Washington State whereas I live in Washington, DC.  It is addressed to the organization she represents in care of her.   My attention is drawn to the name of her organization, “The Foundation of Pennies” which is similar in name to my website “Penny For My Thought.” 

 

The next day again I receive another postcard addresses to the Foundation in care of this woman who I don’t know.  Each card I receive gives me a small clue as to the nature of the business she represents.  Over the next few days I continue receiving mail for this woman.  In my curiosity to find out more about the Foundation and it’s similarity in name to mine, I decide to open her mail.  Slowly but surely through the opened correspondences, I learn more about the woman without having ever met her.  I learn that she is a lesbian who is an advocate for gay, lesbian and transgender issues.  Some of her mail contains newspaper clippings with photographs of her at various events.  

 

One day I receive a package that contains a video tape documentary which tells all about the work the woman is involved in for the Foundation.  As I’m watching the documentary I hear a knock at the door.  It is a special delivery addressed to this woman.  I immediately sign for the package and in walks a little boy.  This is her son.  He is cute around the age of seven.  Since he sees me watching his mom on television he settles in to my house without questioning where he has been sent or that he might have been sent to the wrong address.  I think, now I’m really in trouble.  How do I explain to the boy or any other authorities my behavior of having opened mail that does not belong to me?  I’m sure it is a felony to do so.  I want to keep the child along with all the mail I’ve already opened because I am fascinated by the life this woman leads.  I’m worried that I would be accused of kidnapping the child even though he was rightfully delivered to my home.  For a few days, I say nothing to the boy as he remains happily in my care. 

 

Finally I decide to ask him about his mother.  He tells me his mother’s name is Penny.  I then tell him that he was delivered to the wrong address and I confess that I don’t personally know his mother.  He then shows me the envelope that came with his delivery which he had maintained in his pants pocket.  The envelope is sealed and addressed to me.  In it are a collection of postage stamps and a letter signed by Penny.  I now have the impression this was all done for a reason.  

foun·da·tion
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1: the act of founding
2: a basis (as a tenet, principle, or axiom) upon which something stands or is supported <the foundations of geometry> <the rumor is without foundation in fact>
3 a: funds given for the permanent support of an institution : endowment b: an organization or institution established by endowment with provision for future maintenance
4: an underlying base or support ; especially : the whole masonry substructure of a building
5 a: a body or ground upon which something is built up or overlaid b: a woman’s supporting undergarment : corset c: a cosmetic usually used as a base for makeup

FUTURE REFERENCES: A Family By Choice