A Beeded Breast

Día de Muertos, Fruitvale, Oakland, California USA; Takasphoto.com

December 28, 2018

I know I say this all the time but last’s night’s dream was very cool.  I am in a stadium.  Apparently I live here.  I am trying to decide where to put my office to make room for the baby.  The stadium is so expansive I want the layout to make sense.  It is recommended to me that I set my office on the stage as then it would be sectioned off for this specific purpose.  I believe it to be a good idea.  I am waiting for people to arrive.  It seems the business we conduct is growing and we therefore can benefit from the added space the stadium provides.  We still have use of some old freight containers where we used to conduct our business.  These containers can be put to other use.  There is a guy here dressed like a flamboyant gypsy.  He is very handsome.   I can see his pants ballooning as he walks.  He seems to be the one providing interior design ideas.  He shows me how he has repurposed the shipping containers.  As I walk through to look at the new layout a man catches me eye.  We look at each other.  There is an immediate intense attraction but I am somewhat distracted by the gypsy and his show and tell.

An opportunity arises for me to visit privately with the man as the gypsy walks off ahead of us.  The man comes over and I immediately offer him a hug.  As he goes to hug me his shirt opens up revealing his chest.  His chest has many beads with an emblem in the center of his heart.  The beads seem to be something I identify with.  I am so happy to see him.  I pull him in close to me. As I reach around to his back with my bear hug my hands feel beeds that hang on his back also.  The beeds offer me an ever greater assurance he is the one I’ve been searching for.

The warmth from our bodies creates ashes that float away in the wind.  When I first notice the ashes they look like bats because the seem to be flying in the air but as I look at them more closely I realize they are not bats but the ashes from the sage I have been burning in my offerings.   The ashes are going everywhere.    I worry they will be upset with me for the mess I am making with the ashes.  I want to continue hugging the man but the hugs are creating more ashes.  I hug him for just a little bit longer giving him one lasting hug.  I look again at the ashes to see what I might need to do to clean up but now I notice the ashes are turning into babies.  Hundreds of babies.  Each ash flake developing into a baby.  Oh no, what I am going to do with so many children.

 

~~~~ DREAM ENDS

I found this image on the internet.  I was thinking where can I possibly find an image of a man with a ton of beeds on his chest.  This one seems so perfect as it has the man wearing an emblem on his chest.  I assume the beeds probably hang down on his back.  He holds the same look the guy did in my dream.  A look of wanting or yearning.  A look that calls you close.

I like that much like the ashes relate to a ritual, the indigenous man probably also has rituals he engages in.

 

This image was used for editorial purpose only.

Shattering of the Universe; How Magick Happens

December 26, 2018

Last night’s dream was very cool.  I was watching Harry Potter before going to bed and I wondered if there was a train platform numbered 9 3/4 in my dream where magick happens and if my dreams have a school of Hogwarts for teaching magick.  I fell asleep with the thought.

In the dream, I find myself at work.  I am friendly with the guy who is the parking attendant for my building.  His company owns several businesses including several parking lots.  Since his workers don’t make a lot of money, he offers them investment tips.  On this day, I over hear him giving out some tips in the way of business news.  I then go about my business.

At work one of my coworkers is Marcus who is a very heavy set black guy who reminds me of the Marcus from MKP.  He is also gay as is Marcus from MKP.  In talking to Marcus, I notice his beautiful qualities and his inner potential.  Even though he is over weight, I help him see a bright future for himself.  In talking to him, something he tells me rings true with the conversation I overheard early regarding the business news.  Today’s news I believe Marcus can apply directly to his life.  Marcus is very excited and begins believing in himself.  He is loosing weight and is wearing a beautiful blue dress.  His hair is long and his makeup is done up nicely.  He likes dressing to accentuate his feminine side.

The next morning, I tell Marcus to meet me at the parking lot where I can introduce him to the parking lot attendant.  We are waiting just outside the parking booth for the attendant to arrive with today’s business news.  After he offers the news to his employees, I get his attention and introduce Marcus.  I stutter in explaining how he can possibly help Marcus.  My inner dialog doesn’t want to seem as if I am asking for his help under an Affirmative Action because he is black.  I want him to know I believe in Marcus and I think he can benefit greatly from his assistance.  As if to read my mind, the parking attendant tells me not to worry, he will help Marcus as I’ve indicated.  Excited with his approval I look at Marcus who now looks stunning.  I pause for a moment to see how Marcus has changed.  I think to myself, “I could really love someone as beautiful as Marcus.”

We walk together back to our office.  Marcus is very excited on his new prospects for the future.  I am happy to have been able to help him in this way.  A truck is driving out of the parking lot and down a road where there is construction.  He drives over a pot hole.  I yell don’t do it you won’t survive the fall.  His car splits in two and is swallowed up by the river that runs along side the road.  I tell Marcus he will have to pluck his car out of the river now.  Marcus and I continue walking.  As we walk, Marcus comes up with a way to apply this new knowledge to help the man recover his truck.  He is eager to help someone.  He comes up with a way to create a sonic boom.  The boom will fragment the Universe shattering it to pieces just enough for the man to recover his truck from the river.  The shattering of the Universe allows us to easily rearrange the pieces of the truck.

The idea works as the boom sounds.  The Universe now looks like a mosaic.  Through the cracks a worm hole appears and a beautiful lavender light comes rushing in.  I see and understand how magick happens.  I realize it is Marcus who helps me.

Just Do It; Alien Orb

November 16, 2018

Last night I had an incredible dream.   I am at a place where many roads cross.  It feels like the underground tunnels in the New York subway system.  Some of the roads are cobble stones.  I am here for a purpose.  There is an alien in one of the buildings.  I want to get close enough to see an alien first hand.  I spot him on a freight elevator.  I get close taking a good look at him.  He hides his face from me.  I feel he is doing so generically hiding his face because it is just what he normally does.  I don’t feel he is hiding it from me specifically.  I catch him at a moment where I am able to get a good look.  Once he has passed without noticing me I go to where the alien came from to learn more about him.  The room is filled with artifacts two of which are old turn tables to play records.  I attempt to play one of them placing the stylus on the musical grooves on the record.  The music plays and I wonder why an alien would have an interest in music.

I look at some of the other artifacts and one catches my eye.  It is a pin ball machine that works with your breath.  As you breath the pieces inside move.  The pieces are pink and blue.  I practice moving the pieces with my breath.

Someone calls my attention to a computer.  I am instructed to log in with the aliens password but I don’t know the password.  I then hear a voice in my head the voice of the alien sending me the password.  I’m worried about leaving my fingerprints on the keyboard to I type the password with my nails.  My nails are not making full contact with the keys so I decide it is more important to log in to the computer than to be concerned about my fingerprints.  The password is an easy one “Just Do It”.

The password unlocks a new world and experience.  I now find myself flying over the area where the aliens live.  They can see me.  The leader acknowledges me.  I want to affect them in a positive way so I send them love and healing energy though my hands.  I am starting to lose altitude and I’m coming up on the surface of the water where the lead alien awaits my arrival.  I worry I won’t be able to swim.

My positive energy is starting to reflect off the surface of the water causing vapors to rise like clouds and bubbles.  The bubbles float toward me.  They are the most beautiful colorful bubbles I’ve ever seen.  I am in awe with the site.  Yet I’m still  not upon the surface of the water which is now filled with the colorful bubbles.

An idea comes into my mind that maybe I can swim like a fish under water.  I decide to trust.  I allow myself to go below the surface.  I take one gasp …. I am able to breath.

In that moment I am jarred awake by the gasp.

Muddy Revival

September 8, 2018

Last night I had a very long and incredibly detailed dream.  In part this may be because I slept until noon because I’ve been down with a cold and trying to recover.  This gave me the opportunity to probe deeply into this night’s dream.  In the dream, I am at my niece Otiliia’s funeral.  I am there with my mom who is in a wheel chair.  My neice Otilia is named after my mom.  Right off the bat I am somewhat aware or dubious this can possibly be true because Otilia my niece is too young to die.  I simply accept the dream for what it is telling me. 

There are many funeral processions happening at the same time and since I’m not familiar with all the family members who may be present for the funeral I am unsure which party and procession we are supposed to be with.  My sister Grace gets in line at the reception where they are serving food.  Not wanting to go to the wrong line I sit and wait patiently with my mother.  Finally I decide to wonder over with my mom to see if we can find the correct reception party.  We stumble over one line that is clearly not our party.  Traversing with the wheelchair we are quite visibly intruding on their party. 

I finally find the line that is our family and it is very long.  My sister is standing in the middle of the line already able to get servings of food.  I think there must be a better way to serve all these people.  We stop where my sister is standing.  I can see her face clearly.  I am tempted to cut in the line where she is but I feel guilt and instead my mom and I go the the end of the line and wait.  

While at the end of the line I begin to ask myself how I got here.  I remember taking a metro here and I clearly remember the path I took.  I want to remember so I don’t get lost heading back home.  The steps and directions are clear in my mind.  I decide to look at my cell phone’s GPS to plot where I am.  In my mind I can see a map of my location but looking at my cell phone it is not the iphone X I have in real life it is a flip phone which doesn’t have GPS on it.   I’m curious about the functions of this flip phone so I begin to play with it studying its parts and how it works.

For a moment my attention is called back to the party where I see Maria my brother Paz’s wife who has a very thin waist.  I think to myself.  she must have lost weight because I don’t remember her being that thin.  My awareness then goes back to my concerns about my phone.  Again I look carefully at the phone.  The more I concentrate on the phone the bigger the phone gets until finally it is the size of a television but it seems to be broken because it has two disassembled pieces.  It occurs to me that maybe the two pieces are improperly positioned.  Head to toe, top to botttom there must be some rhyme or reason here.  I turn them over and am able to reassemble to two parts.  The two pieces fit like tongue and groove with each other with the now quite large keyboard remaining inside.  With the phone reassembled the phone becomes one within itself.

I try to figure out the phone in its new configuration.  I am playing with the screen and accidentally hit the panic mode.  The phone siren sounds off continuously like my car’s panic button. I can see the screen clearly which is quite foreign to me.  I’ve never seen a screen quite like this one.  I am finally able to cancel the alarm.   It then becomes apparent that in canceling the alarm the phone now seems to be responding to my thoughts as if it has sync’d up with my mind.  This awareness causes me a bit of confusion.  Wasn’t the iphone broken?  With that thought I can see my iPhone X in a distant place in perfect shape.  So I think OK that’s my perfect phone but there is still doubt in my mind with all the strange things that have been happening.  I question what is happening in the dream.

Now the phone in my hand is back to its small self.  Is this my real phone?  I look to the distant place and now see the phone in the distance place is broken.  It seems this phone has an affect on the distant phone they are somehow interconnected.  Now I’m looking at the broken phone with the knowledge of how to put it back together I fix the phone in the distance.   With the near and distant phones repaired I have the awareness that this is my dream phone which immediately triggers me to become lucid.  All the awareness of everything from this dream is in the present moment.  I start to wake up becoming aware that I am in my bed.  I gather my thoughts and recall what is important to me from this dream to bring into my waking life.

I faintly recall something about my partner.  Yet there was nothing about a partner in the dream.  The phone however had a partner.  I ask who is my partner?  In the distance I see the chest of a man.  The vision of his chest fills my entire field of vision.  I try to figure out whether this image is before me or in the phone because last I remember I was looking at the screen on the phone.  Am I in the phone?

The man before me is immense.  I want to see the face of the man.  Does this man have a beard like me?  The image begins to move.  He is a wild man.  A savage. I can now see the long wild lion like hair on his head and full beard.  The man also has twigs and leaves in his hair.  He is completely unkempt.  The image is a monotone color of brown black and slight shades of yellow.  I want to know more about this man, who he is. I also want to know the answers to the questions in the dream.  I don’t want to wake up without knowing my truth.

The image begins to move.  I see a river start to flow over his shoulders.  He appears to be standing in a creek.  There is mud flowing over him and becoming deeper and deeper.  It reminds me of those endurance events where the men crawl through mud.  I can see him struggling in the mud.  The mud gets deeper and deeper.  I notice the twigs in his hair have remained with him throughout his struggles.  I am captivated by this fact.  How could the twigs be part of this man.  He is now fully submerged in the mud.  The mud now becomes passive and tranquil.  I wonder for a moment what happened to the man when all of the sudden I see his twigs spring forth from the ground followed by his face.  Blue and lavender color begins pulsing from deep as leave and branches begin to emerge from his face.  Small wild flowers come into bloom.  His countenance remains forever present in the foliage.

I awake from the dream.

 

The Table Congregation

August 29, 2018

Last night I had a bizarre dream.  I find myself in what appears to be a  stairwell of a building possibly leading to a mechanical area.  The way the stairwell is structured it is very complex.  It reminds me of the skeleton of Arc de Triomphe.  I am chasing an entity.  It is elusive.  It is a part of me that hides itself from me.  It passes in flashes of light.  This is an internal struggle where I alone can reconcile with this force within me.  I must find the flash of light and confront it, unite with it and harness it.  I must tame the beast.  I can see it zipping past me in the corners of my vision.

I decide on a strategy.  I scale the stairs to the top where there is a meeting hall with two separate, distinct and rectangular tables in the center.  People come here to resolve issues.  As the attendants walk in they take their seats.   There are two balcony rows above the area where the tables are where spectators can come and gather to view the discussions.  I sit at one of the tables and wait for everyone else to sit at either of the available tables.  I observe who is on which side.  Nancy Polossi walks in and sits at the opposing table.  I am thrilled to see her but she does not say hello.  She appears unfriendly and cold.  This angers me as I notice people here are not in good spirits with one another.  Since I am in charge of this space and this meeting that I’ve convened, I ask them to all stand and file themselves by their respective ages.  Not wanting to come together all the participants scatter to the balconies.  They don’t seem to want to follow instructions.  I  tell them they must accept the the terms or they cannot rejoin the table.  I give them instructions on how to pair up one junior member and one senior member.  The senior members must tutor the junior members and the junior members must assist with the responsibilities of the senior members.  The senior members must learn to be like junior members in there curiosity and innocence for life.  Every week when we gather going forward we will conduct this exercise and in time we will learn to work together.  Still reluctant and dismissive of my demands.  I sit back down in the center. The two tables are now one large circular table.   As I sit the table becomes a pure white being.  I begin talking with The Table Entity.  We are as old friends so happy to be reunited.  I decide to take a picture of us to send it to the members.  The members are now calling me on the phone wanting to join the congregation.  I can see them in the balconies having done a 180 in their attitude.  They in return show me their painted faces and celebration outfits.  Everyone is dressed up beautifully like the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

~~~~~ DREAM ENDS

Curiously as I was journalling the dream not knowing where it was going or how it would unfold one of the things that struck me was the focal point of The Table(s).  I attend a church called the Table Church.  I really liked the way it became an entity unto itself.   I assume this entity is what I was seeking to find and reconcile with.  I also thought it humorous that those things that keep the table separate and in conflict turned out to the the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgences.  I also love the ending where we could come together and poke fun at ourselves be happy festive and reunited as one Table Entity.  Is this the way God would want it?  I think so.

Sketch: Side Shoot Process

June 18, 2018

I had a dream that kept repeating all night long.  Every time I rolled over or slightly woke to readjust myself or drink water (i was thirsty all night) I would think about the focus of the dream.  The message was that something had to happen first; a side shoot process.  I clearly see the process in my mind. I held it in my right hand and the main process is in my left hand.  Everyone in my dream seems to want to jump the gun and move directly to the main process.  I keep having to correct them and remind them about the process and showing them what is in my right hand which must come first.  Everyone is excited about moving forward.  The process seems to relate to the surrogacy.  I describe the main process as getting pregnant and implanting the embryo.  The side process I equate to finalizing the legal contract which must come first.  Every time I woke up during the night I felt so good about what was happening around me in the dream.  I feel confident and assured in the process.

The last time I I woke up to roll over I began a new dream which served to clarified the process in my right.  I am in a prison of sorts under confinement.  I don’t necessarily belong here I just happen to appear in the dream in this place.  My friend Quetta is with me.  We are talking and talking and exploring the various realms within the dreamland.  I sense it is time to go as the gates of the prison are closing.  I believe they suspect I am here and want to confine me or entrap me.  We start walking toward the exit or an opening which we believe to be the exit.  As we approach, I sense this to be what the opposing force wants me to do to confine me.  I am unafraid and therefore continue walking toward the opening.  I pass by a set of windows where the guards are seated inside.  I wave at them putting my thumbs in my ears and fanning my palms just like kids do to mock someone.  They immediately react.  I believe I caught them off guard not expecting me to approach this close to them within their territory.  The opening becomes narrower and narrower.   I remain unafraid.  I’m told of an alternate route through which we can pass.  There is a train beyond the opening.  If we can make it onto the train we will be free.  We seem to be high up on the walls looking down on the doors below us.   If we are to leave through the doors we must descend the wall.  Knowing I wouldn’t be able to descend a wall like that in physical form I choose instead to ascend using my dream powers.  As I ascend, my body passes by  a watch tower where another set of guards are stationed.  Again they see me and scramble.  I wave to them in the same way.

I now find myself on the train platform.  The train has just arrived and the doors are now open.  I embark the train but realize I have lost contact with my friend Quetta.  I pause for a moment and wonder if he might have gotten on the train.  Then I remember Quetta is passed away and is no longer with us on earth.  Knowing he is ok and possibly still with me invisible I continue onto the train.  I have no idea where I’m headed.  I sit on the seat and remember I have left my car in the parking lot of the prison.   Yet I’m not worried since I don’t seem to need it for the moment.

As the train departs, my consciousness takes flight.  Instead of simply leaving this place I hover around taking note of what is happening below me.  I recall other dreams where I am able to fly at extreme heights.  I try to ascend to those heights but something seems to be holding me back.  I am on the train.  Trying a new thought, I wonder if I can possibly swivel my seat one would assume the train seat is fixed.  With the thought my seat swivels responding to my want and desire.  Once again I take the opportunity to swivel back and forth over the area now controlling the direction the train is going.  I am able to overlook the space of my confinement to examine how things work here and learn the inner workings and relationships at play.  Those who are following me are simply feet away.

I become aware Quetta is still with me somewhere at a distance.  I am somehow still able to communicate with him.  I tell him there are those who pursue me trying to impede my progress.  I say it very matter of fact as an observation and simply move on with our conversation picking up where we had left off.  I feel like a kite in the air flying too and fro with no real urgency to go in any which direction.  I think eventually I may need to find a hotel to stay in and possibly reclaim my car.  We decide to send someone else for my car and learn the vehicle has been removed and confiscated by the opposition.  I lament briefly believing it was a nice Mercedes but thinking after all it is just a car.

The dream ends here but before it ended I am presented with a few images.  The images look like pencil drawings; outlines.  The first image has the most detail quite possibly the finished product a vision of what is to come.  The screen is erased.  A new image appears.  I see every line being drawn on the canvas until the image is complete.  It too is erased.  Once again a new image appear slowly line by line.  This process repeats with each iteration of the same image differing slightly and with each successive iteration becoming more simplified.  The final few iterations vert simple and they serve as lessons on how the canvas is drawn.  I am allowed to see the lines as they are drawn in slow motion.  The lines have form and intent.  I can see they are purposeful and not random.

 

 

IMAGE: Title: Penn’s greene country towne; pen and pencil sketches of early Philadelphia and its prominent characters
Year: 1903 (1900s)
Authors: Hotchkin, S[amuel] F[itch], 1833- [from old catalog]
Subjects: Penn, William, 1644-1718
Publisher: Philadelphia, Ferris & Leach
Contributing Library: The Library of Congress
Digitizing Sponsor: Sloan Foundation

The Kids Table

I had a dream where I am trying to coordinate a flight with my ex Joe.  I have to find a place to park my car but the airport parking lot is full and I’m told by the parking attendant that there is a detour and he advises me to find another option.  He points me in the direction of a metered spot but I am suspicious of that spot because I don’t want to get a ticket just in case I don’t get back in time to pick up the car.  Instead I go looking for another parking space.  I am able to find street parking nearby.  I don’t know when the flight is but I do know it is scheduled soon.

I then find myself trying to save my goldfishes.  Someone has placed them in a bucket with very little water.  The fish are struggling to swim.  I feel a strong connection to them as if they were my children.  I go looking for a water bottle to try and save them. I find a blue and grey bottle in the kitchen cupboard.  I fill it up with water and pour it in the bucket only to find the bucket has holes everywhere.  Someone is trying to sabotage my effort. One of the fishes is already dead.  Mocha and Cleo now eat the fish not knowing they are special.

My brother Paz is trying to entrap me between a concrete wall. Paz  has sided with Trump and is now a terrorist.  He is jealous of my spiritual connection and wants to kill me or have me go missing so that he can claim my property.  I’m really tired of dealing with the Paz’s character and decide I will no longer be part of it.  I refuse to give him power over me.  I step into my faith in the knowledge that I am OK regardless of what Paz is  doing.  I then surrender and step into the space between the  concrete walls.  My friends Toni C and Stephen are here along with other friends from various groups who have come to this space to support me.  The space between the walls begins to provide a clearing.

Those gathered here tell me that they have gathered my seed and I have born a child but that the child has the defect of illegitimacy.  They bring the child to me and I feel compassion for his situation.  I take the child and he grows up in my arms.  I teach him how to fly and watch him become a man.  We take flight together and become one.  I feel him against my loins and groin and in my spirit with a feeling of ecstasy.  The feeling is beautiful and overwhelming.

Now in full flight we ascend to an elevation high above to the tops of the buildings where I see a bezeled window with a cut out shape much like a cookie cutter opening.  The opening is large enough for my spirit to pass .  We pass through the opening.

We are in flight.  He is now a full grown man.  Having taught him everything I pass my power to him and now he carries me.  I can feel the wind touch my body.  We are facing each other.  I am moving backward as he is moving forward.    Its time to find a resting place.  As we descend he becomes younger and younger.  Once we land his presence leaves me.

I then find myself sitting at a wooden picnic table where I meet a man.  He is seated beside me.  I am talking to the memory of my son as if he were still with me.  I feel silly talking to someone that is not there.  I’m afraid the man seated next to me will think I’m crazy.  I am telling the man about my dreams and how wonderful they are.  I’m getting confused.  I can’t distinguish whether I’m dreaming or not.  Although I am in a dream, I do not feel like I’m dreaming.  A young boy comes up to me from out of the blue.  Without skipping a beat, I continue talking to him as my son.  He tells me about school and what he is learning.  We have a fun conversation about playful things.  I share with him how my life is.  He then runs off telling me he needs to head back to school. As he is leaving, I remind him how much I love him.

I then resume talking to the man who is sitting next to me.  I tell him how my dreams reveal my son.  I struggle to describe what I have experienced in all its fullness.  You have to be present to fully appreciate the magic.  Once again I feel silly believing the man will question my sanity.

In that moment from out of the blue a young boy appears to hand me a chocolate.  The chocolate is wrapped in an orange shinny tin foil paper with crinkled edges.  I open it to find a hand written note inside.   Reading the note, I recognize it as something I have written.  In that moment the universe opens up as my awareness expands.  I am fully aware of the dream and the magnitude of what it presents.  I am in a dream yet I am awake.  I experience synchronicity and deja-vu in the dream as in my waking life.  Knowing this is my opportunity to see my son’s face,  I take a good look wanting to know if he bears any resemblance to me.  I am surprised to find that he is the same person as the λλale Carrier from my previous dream where I asked him if he had any male for me.

 

λλale Carrier

λs I was drifting off to sleep.  I begλn to see beautiful spiraling strands of light pulsating through the ethers.  It reminds me of the heavens where Angels dance.  Their density increases as the strands begin to take form.  Cartoon like images appear and take form as they cluster together.  I can see cells form forming tubules that gather in stands of tubules which began forming a mesh that then enveloped me to carry me off as if in a worm hole.

I then find myself at work.  I feel I have a bone to pick with my co-workers.  I somewhat know I am in a dream cocky in my attitude and with mandate in hand.  I am determined to find what I am looking for.  I WANT THE TRUTH.  I want to know what has been hidden from me and why I have been made to struggle to find it.  I can see the people working in their respective office spaces.  Each has a role to play.  There is a science about it with precision and certainty.  I know my job here to be one in communications.  I study the setup I have in place.  I know it intimately for I am the one who set it up.  The overlords  have been using my equipment to their benefit and withholding information.  I want clarity.  I want transparency.  I see a woman in her cubicle who shares a wall with me.  She is not aware or possibly she is aware but hiding the fact that she knows I am overlooking.  She works to decipher the communication on the wire.  She inconspicuously looks through a post card that serves a dual purpose.  One of concealment and the other of insight.  Used in combination with her computer she is able to decipher the transmission on the wire.   λs I eavesdrop through the transparency of the post card she holds I clearly perceive the hidden strands.  They are not unlike the stands which brought me here when I entered the dream portal.

I know I must press forward.  I leave my cube and enter the main area of this section of the pod where I work.  There is a mobile mail station at a junction point.  Assuming if I work here I must have mail being addressed to me at this location.  I look at the many mail slots on the mobile station not knowing what name I work under.  I can’t seem to find my mail.  The λλale Carrier approaches from the right junction and looks at me.  With authority,  I ask him to hand me my male.   He then asks, “Who are you?”.  Taking a chance, I answer, Ruben Bailey.  I add a clarifying statement and disclose I often don’t pick up mail here so it may have been backlogged.  He then answers, “I’m not aware of any male.” but hands me several flyers which he is delivering to all employees.  I pause somewhat disappointed yet knowing any information received is the next clue and its more than what I had when I arrived.  I am empowered to change. Turning inward, I glance at the flyers and look around to see what is within my control to change.  The flyers indicate there is a ωelcome πeception today.  I move forward to excuse myself with the young λλale Carrier end enter the restricted space where the ωelcome Party is being held.  There are λliens here and I am aboard a space ship which has just landed.  I can clearly see out the windows of the çraft.  I move to a position where I see clearly.  The windows are full length floor to ceiling in 360 degrees all the way around around çraft.  There are so many λliens here who look very different from humans.  I am unafraid yet a bit overwhelmed by their numbers.  I reach beyond any fear and wave in their direction letting then know I have arrived.

Knowing my time is limited, I return to my duties to see what changes I can make to give me an edge with the overlords.  I know they need me for their business.  I also know they can’t do it without me.  They rely on me to harvest the fruit of my labor.  I sit and ponder how I might effect a paradigm shift to better harmonize with my desire and intent.  I play the scenarios to determine their possible outcomes and come to the decision to leave things as they are and take no action.

When i woke up I looked at my phone and noticed my niece had sent me a message.  It became the image of the dream.  It seemed fitting for this dream.

CEDELIA craft = 3- Self-expression, Joy of Living, Creativity, Perfection. Art, Inspiration, Enthusiasm, Perfection, Spiritual-Physical Connection, Communication and Triad Paradigm.
Positive Traits
On the positive side, the energy attributes of the number three resonates with love demonstration, creative imagination, fulfillment, encouragement, and talent. It’s also related to culture, innovative skills, wit, pleasure, freedom-seeking, adventure, free-form, brilliance, non-confrontational, natural rhythm, self-expression, enthusiasm, psychic ability, holy triad knowledge (heaven-human-earth, father-son-holy spirit, past-present-future, thought-word-action). The number three resonates with the energies of the Ascended Masters and their guidance. Three also resonates with expression both artistic (writing, painting, singing, sculpture, etc.) as well as feelings (love, affection, friendship, etc.)
Negative Traits
On the negative side, the number three resonates with indifference through superiority, lack of concentration or focus.

Jacobs Ladder

This is an old dream that i had maybe a year ago (2017).  It has been forever present with me.  It was more than just a dream or vision.  It felt very real that it has not moved from my consciousness.  I think about it all the time wanting to know more about it.  Since my recent dream where I discovered I can replay an old dream I thought I should write this one down.  A year ago I wasn’t journaling my dreams yet I still have them and the most powerful ones I do still remember.  This is one of them.

I wake up in the dream to find that I have been asleep for many many years. I have not aged but somehow it is now at least 25 years into the future.   I don’t know this until later in the dream.  I am witnessing the President of the United States who doesn’t say a whole lot throughout the dream but his presence is known.  It seems only some people are aware of me yet I am there among them.  The President has an entourage of people around him constantly.   I am observing all that is going on and I somehow I know the topics under discussion.  We are all sleeping in close quarters several assistants along with the Press Secretary are constantly attending to the Presidents needs.  The President is one of the one’s that is not aware of my presence or at least he has not acknowledged me directly.   In the future they’ve made drugs such that they are no longer harmful.  Even drugs that were once illegal now have versions that can be taken for pure pleasure with no harmful side affects.  They have eliminated the substance abuse problem.

The President needs a prescription and therefore his personal medic is called in to administer the drug.  A young man enters who is a member of the a naval academy.  He is studying to be a doctor and can already prescribe medicine.  He comes in and notices me but doesn’t say anything so I’m not sure he can actually see me or simply senses my presence.   As the conversation continues I get more and more signals that confirm he is aware of me.  It is as if I can hear his thoughts.  The sound of his voice is so beautiful to me.  His name is Jacob.  He is such a caring individual with a deep curiosity for life.  His desires are noble.  He tells me he wants to change the world from the inside out.  Although he is working for a Republican President he himself is not a Republican.  He has only claimed to be a Republican to effect change.  We seem to hit it off and begin playing on each other bantering back and forth.  The Press Secretary also is fully aware and loves the young man and respects his naivete.  His innocence is simply intoxicating.  He tells me he finds me very attractive.  Something else about life in this century is that sexual expression is more openly accepted as an exchange of energy.  It’s not uncommon for people to be intimate and rejoice in one another’s presense.  He again tells me he finds me very attractive.  I ask for clarification to which he tells me that I am exactly the type of person he has always dreamt about being with.  I ask him if he is gay to which he says that’s a thing of the past its more about being with the one you connect with and love.  Somehow he understands I’m not from this time period.  He then shows me how they are intimate with each other freely male and female without any hangups.  He then comes to me and begins to pleasure me.  The feeling of pleasure is overwhelming.  I tell him I don’t date guys in their 20’s.  He again emphasizes that he is in love with me as I AM EXACTLY what he has dreamt about.  With his touch I can feel exactly what he is referring to.  Knowing what he knows, I too now feel him and sense the connection.  I am falling in love with this young navy cadet.  He is paying me more attention than his responsibilities.  He tells me to wait for him.  While I wait he tells me to experience others as he has demonstrated.   The sense of pleasure is overwhelming.  I can hear a bit of scuttle between him and the President as he has neglected his duties in spending time with me.  He then assures me that he has everything under control.  I can still over hear the conversation but it sounds like he is loosing his patience with the President.  I tell him I don’t want him to risk his career.  He then asks me if I would love him regardless meaning if he didn’t have a career would I still love him to which I say of course. I now realize I’ve always wanted someone like him.  I tell him to fulfill his duties and come home to sleep with me and cuddle with me.  He is welcome to sleep with me anytime.  I’m starting to get tired as sleep falls upon me.  He is now in my bed cuddled with me late at night.  I can feel his body pressed against my body.  We dream of a time when we can be together forever.

When I woke up in the morning the presence of him was gone.  I felt like I had allowed myself to fall asleep and allowed him to slip away.  In my desire to recapture that moment I heard a voice say “You are him. You are the connection you seek.”

And Jacob went out from Beer-sheba, and went toward Haran. And he lighted upon the place, and tarried there all night, because the sun was set; and he took one of the stones of the place, and put it under his head, and lay down in that place to sleep. And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven; and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it. And, behold, the LORD stood beside him, and said: ‘I am the LORD, the God of Abraham thy father, and the God of Isaac. The land whereon thou liest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed. And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth, and thou shalt spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the north, and to the south. And in thee and in thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed. And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee whithersoever thou goest, and will bring thee back into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.’ And Jacob awaked out of his sleep, and he said: ‘Surely the LORD is in this place; and I knew it not.’ And he was afraid, and said: ‘How full of awe is this place! this is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.’

— Genesis 28:10-17 Jewish Publication Society (1917)

Green Man Addendum – A Measure of Wheat for a Penny

April 6, 2018

Waking up this morning it felt reminiscent of the dream that i had 2 nights ago the night I couldn’t remember my dream.  This is because when I awoke I initially couldn’t remember a thing except for a phone call I had just received  before I woke up.  I heard someone’s cell phone ring next to me.  I looked over at the cell phone and thought it might be mine but on closer examination it wasn’t mine.  I thought I would answer it on behalf of the person whose cell phone it belonged to.  I answer and say, “Hello.”  The person on the other end asks to speak with Nevitt.  I sit up look around the room to see if there is a Nevitt here.  I then realize I’m dreaming and the only Nevitt I know is my neighbor who lives up the street.  It also occurs to me that anytime I hear my cell phone in a dream its from my guardian angel Jennifer.  I was reminded of this fact yesterday when I read my dream from my book which i posted yesterday.   This phone call just didn’t feel like a dream even though it was.  At this point I’m sitting up in my bed looking for the owner of the cell phone which I guess must be me since I am the dreamer.

I got myself up and headed for the bathroom struggling to remember any part of the dream leading up to the phone call.  I then recall seeing my mom carrying a large bird on her shoulder.  The bird had bright yellow feet.  I also recall walking in my mom’s back yard off of Loma Drive in Los Angeles where I see a set of spiral stairs that she had recently put in.  The stairs are made of concrete.  I recall the risers being very smooth and shallow hugging the slope of the hill.  The treads contained large gravel stones that created small impressions and bumps on the tread.   I remember thinking to myself that the steps appear to be very similar to the ones I had had placed in a very similar space.  How is it that they are the same as the ones I recall yet I don’t even recognize them.  There is a familiarity yet there is not.  It felt like a paradox.  I then recall a gathering of people who were celebrating with sparkling water which at first glance looks like Cognac because of the purity of the water and its slight yellow coloration.  This elixir they are serving is referred to as liquid viagra.   Knowing drinking doesn’t agree with me they also have several vials of colored water.  There are vials in every color of the rainbow.  I’m told these too are liquid viagra and suggest that I partake.  I walk over to examine the vials.  The quantities are going quickly as guys are coming over to help themselves.  I decide to take one or two for myself.  There aren’t enough remaining to represent a full rainbow anymore.  I hastily grab two then notice that the person behind behind me is left with only one.  Feeling empathy for him, I offer him mine.  The dream ended there.

So why the addendum? Well during my morning coffee I thought of ways to improve or add to my sacred space.  Calling on sacred objects from the past that I can place in the present to enhance my morning prayers.  I remembered I have a Buddha in the basement which this Buddha also has a host of history that I can share.  We’ve had many a late night conversation.  So I ran downstairs to bring her up.  I always refer to my Buddha statue in the feminine  because she has a feminine sounding voice in my head when she talks to me.  I placed her on a bar stool in the dining room where I can see her from where i sit to have my coffee and morning prayer.  Staring at her and sipping my coffee I realize she is green and she in fact is actually a man.  She is a Green Man.

So today now April 7th, 2018 (tells you how long it takes for a dream to unfold and for me to journal one) I had a PIT Training Course to attend.  PIT is a training that is offered to new Mankind Project Initiates.  I became a Warrior this past March 2nd weekend.  Anyways, the training was held in a Meditation Studio.  Up on the wall was a very large Buddha sitting lotus in a Yellow robe.  Coincidence I think not.

An interesting story around my coming to the Mankind Project relates to another very powerful dream I had.  Before I can tell you about this dream first I must preface it with a story.  It takes me back to the very beginning when … well I will let the book tell it.

 

A Measure of Wheat for a Penny

“And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.”  (Revelation 6:6 KJV)

 

For me, all the magic has revolved around a single penny–a wheat penny.  It began in the fall of 1995 with a series of precognitive dreams.  I had been seeing a therapist who suggested that I journal my dreams to help me get in touch with a host of unresolved issues. I felt very much an outcast.  I was poor, Hispanic, gay, and HIV positive.

I desperately wanted to reconcile my life to God.  My best friend had just passed away from AIDS and I did not want to die without coming to know God.  The precognitive dreams concerned a book that ironically my therapist had also asked me to read.  The book was “Iron John, A Book about Men”, by Robert Bly.  For the last three chapters of the book, I would dream the night before about chapters in the book I had yet to read.  How is it that I knew the story line of the last three chapters in the book before ever having set my eyes upon those pages?  Information that seemed at first to be meaningless hooked my interest and forced me to look around and ask, “Is someone or something out there, or is God trying to get my attention?”

The answer came in a subsequent dream.  This dream is the hallmark of all the dreams in my life. It led me to know there is a God setting everything into motion guiding my path toward self-actualization and revealing my purpose in life.

Dream: Wait One Cent (October 15, 1995)

I am working at an elementary school servicing the lunch lines for the kids. I usually eat my lunch before their lunch hour begins but today I do not have a meal ticket. The supervisor of the cafeteria tells me that she has an extra meal ticket that I can have but before I can have it, I must agree to pick up all the pennies that have fallen on the ground.  I agree and proceed to get down on my knees to collect the fallen pennies.  There are so many pennies that I cannot hold them all in my hands.  They begin falling out of my hands.  I am trying hard not to drop any while at the same time picking up the remaining pennies that are still on the ground.  I am anxious because I want to get my food before it is too late.  I finally get to the last penny and I notice it looks different from all the others.  It is a very old penny with much wear on it.  As I pick it up and look closely, I realize that it is a wheat penny.

 

The next day after I finished reading “Iron John”, I decided to stop after work at Borders Bookstore to buy another book.  At the suggestion of my therapist, I purchased, “Fire in the Belly, A Book about Being a Man”, by Sam Keen.  As I walked out of the store, I quickly took the book out of the bag to page through it.  Standing in front of Borders Books, I suddenly had a very strange feeling of déjà vu, except I could not pinpoint what it was that I had already seen or experienced.   Puzzled, I scratched my head and looked around to try to piece the puzzle together.  My eyes then fell to my feet and to my total disbelief I found myself standing in the middle of a bunch of pennies that someone had apparently dropped on the ground.  Memory of the dream immediately came rushing back into my mind.  There were no nickels, dimes or quarters; only a bunch of pennies.  I could not believe it.

This was apparently just another manifestation in a series of precognitive dreams.  I knew God had to be at work here. I just did not understand what he was trying to tell me.  Remembering the dream and knowing I had agreed to pick up the pennies, I got down on my knees to collect the fallen pennies.  One by one I picked them up.  Would the last penny in fact be a wheat penny?  I just knew in my heart that it had to be true.  I had called on God and this was God’s way of answering.  This was about a dream come true.  In my mind I prayed, “God, if there is something you want me to do, Lord, please make it clear to me now.”

There were dozens of pennies.  When I came to the last penny, I paused, not knowing what to expect.  Were the heavens going to open up?  Was I going to hear God’s voice?  Would an angel appear in front of me?  Since it was already nightfall, I picked up the last penny and stood up and walked over to the window display of the bookstore to have a close look at this miracle penny.  Upon examination and to my amazement the penny was in fact a wheat penny.

I felt overwhelming joy and peace in knowing God was really out there.  On the other hand, I still had no clue what he was trying to tell me. I had a great sense of frustration come over me in not knowing what was being asked of me. “What do you want me to do?”  All my energy drained from my body and I just stood there with my body and head pressed up against the bookstore display window.  With my eyes closed and tears of frustration running down my face, I called out to God, “Please God, what is it you want me to do?”  Nothing.  I heard no voice, I saw no divine apparition, nothing.

“Whatever, let’s go,” I heard my ego say to me.  I wiped my tears and as I opened my eyes and regained my composure, it suddenly hit me. The answer was staring me in the face. I could practically hear God’s voice saying, “I want you to write a book.”

This book is the fulfillment of that request.

 

The saying, “Pennies from Heaven”, took on a personal meaning for me and dream journaling became my connection to God.  For the next 10 years, God would confirm his lessons in my external world with synchronicity by placing pennies in my path for me to find at precisely the right place and time.  The synchronicity of the pennies became unmistakably God’s voice.  Interestingly enough I always found pennies in groups of ones or threes and I knew God in His own way was winking at me letting me know that I was on the right track.

 

For those 10 years not much happened; I did my dream work and studied anything and everything I could get my hands on: Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, Edgar Cayce, Self Realization Fellowship, philosophy, mysticism and mythology.  Having been raised Catholic, and being gay, I really did not have a good taste for Christianity.  However, with the sense that God really cared about me, I wanted to give Christianity another try and study it for myself instead of relying on what others had to say.  Therefore, I renewed my interest in Christianity and began studying the Bible independently and with different Christian denominations, including the Mormons. Of course, as soon as I told them I was gay, they all wanted me to renounce my so-called lifestyle choice and be baptized.  Since I would not do that, they eventually wrote me off as a lost soul and went about their business.  However, I knew that God had not abandoned me; he was with me.  I persisted in my independent study and eventually found a non-denominational Christian church that did accept me.  I was baptized by them since I felt baptism into the Catholic faith was not my conscious choice as an infant.

 

Things finally began to shift into high gear in the summer of 2005. I began to see with my eyes closed, colored lights panning back and forth in my field of vision when I was falling asleep at night.  Trying to find the cause of these lights, I researched the Internet and found instances where terminally ill patients often reported having mystical experiences similar to mine several months before dying.  Was I having a mystical experience?  More importantly, was I nearing my own death?  In November of that year, I took a trip to visit my parents in California.  While on that trip one day my sister and I were talking and out of the blue she shared with me that she had this synchronistic thing happening with finding pennies.  She had never shared her penny experiences with me and I never thought to share mine with her.  We looked at each other in disbelief.  I also shared with her my mystical experience of seeing the colored lights.  I affectionately termed the experience “my night lights”.

I took this coincidence to be a sign from God signaling me to put pen to paper or fingertips to keyboard and began the actual writing process for the book He had wanted me to write.  I still did not know what God wanted me to write about, but I assumed it had to do with my life experience and dream work as a source of divine guidance.

That trip was full of synchronicities but now the synchronicities were shared between me, my sister and the universe. Suddenly the phenomenon involved a person outside of me. We were like kids in a candy store. My sister and I began talking almost every day.

END EXCERPT

The coincidence here is that the Mankind Project basis much of it’s work on the story Iron John.