Last night I had a restless night that resulted in a series of disturbing dreams. In the first dream I am at a party and we are blowing up balloons. They are the type of balloons that are twisted into animal shapes. The balloon I am given is black. The objective is to blow up the balloon to the break point without breaking it. As I begin to blow up my balloon I notice it looks like a penis or dildo. I am disturbed by the image and I want to stop but I feel committed to the challenge. I don’t want to fail. I’m aware that the more I blow the more pleasure is felt by those around me who are observing me. They are urging me on. I’m approaching the break point. Just one more puff. The balloon bursts with a loud pop. I immediately wake up startled by the loud sound and burst of air at my face.
As I open my eyes there is a fat black man looking at me with puffed cheeks, pinched lips and bulging eyes. He reminds me of Louis Armstrong. I am extremely annoyed at his presence. He is the reason why my balloon burst. The look in his eyes tells the whole story. He is making a joke of me. I backhand him and roll on my side to go to sleep.
I then had a dream where I am dating a guy over the internet whose screen name is “ClergyWithSomeone.” Our conversations occur mostly over the internet. At first our chats are pretty typical and very delightful. Then something changes the mood shifts for some reason and I suspect something is wrong. I’m trying to figure out what has changed. Why is it that the internet acting differently? As I examine the computer I realize my hands are stuck to the computer. I am trying to figure out how to detach myself from the device. I’m pulling the computer away from me over my head like a pull over sweater. At this point when I am almost free a white note is passed to me seemingly a chat request. I feel it is from someone trying to help me. I immediately grab for the note in the hope of freeing myself. I’m beginning to wake up.
When I open my eyes I’m completely disoriented. I cannot make heads or tails of my room yet I am awake. I feel like I am recovering from just having passed out as if the blood is just now returning to my brain. As my brain begins to make sense of my bedroom, I see three men floating above my bed. They are standing together in a group facing each other. They are humanoid with the face of an animal specifically a bear or a beaver. Again I am extremely annoyed with them for the dream they have given me. I don’t feel they are making fun of me they are simply telling me the truth, a truth which doesn’t feel so good. I back hand them and turn once again in the other direction and fall back to sleep.
I have another dream. In this dream there is a police officer that has been stocking my house and watching me through my closed windows. He has been watching my movie played on my television screen, a movie of my life. I feel violated. He knows my most personal and intimate details. Upon becoming aware of him I step outside my house onto the front porch to confront him. Given that he is a police officer, I feel I must comply with his demands. He wants to enter my home to inspect it. I turn and walk back toward my front door. Something inside me says, “DON’T DO IT….DON’T BELIEVE HIM…DON’T LET HIM IN. I must react quickly. I make a run for it at a moment in time where he was not expecting it. I slam the iron door closed and quickly turn the dead bolt lock. I tell him he must wait outside while I call the station and confirm that he is in fact who he says he is and has the authority with which to search my home. My actions angers him greatly.
I am in a panic inside the house not knowing what to do next. Who do I call? What should I do? The panic places me in a lucid state a super conscious state where answers are coming to me. I remember that I know how to fly. I am the master of my dreams. I alone am the script writer. I alone must confront him but I will do it prepared with a super conscious awareness. I practice for a moment flying back and forth within my dream house to verify that I can indeed fly and I have my super human powers at my readiness. I then open the door to confront my oppressor. It is dark outside and he is now no where to be found but I know he still lurks in the darkness.
I now go about my business. I walk through the house taking note of all the details. There are mementos of my life and memories of my mother. As I start to remember where I came from, I become lost in the experience. As the wave of information starts to end, I come across a group of photos. They are photos of me with my friends taken in the past. In the first photograph I see the man my oppressor the same man who stood outside my house dressed as a police man. I clearly recognize him now. I hear myself say, “I hate him.” I can’t believe we were once friends but here is the truth on paper. We were friends. I flip through the photos. We are together in a majority of the photos. He smiles like a horse. I remember his presence even in those days was overbearing but he was my friend.
I then hear a sound at the door. He is back and the front door is wide open. He enters the house. We both take flight and confront each other in mid air in a great show of force. He is an extremely powerful opponent with powers that equal mine. His advantage is that he has lived in this underworld for a long time. It is his home turf. I am on his playing field. I on the other hand have been away from my powers having used them only sparingly during the course of my life on earth. The knowledge of how to use them is steadily coming back to me. We collide many times in mid air but I am not backing down. It is not only me for whom I am fighting for. I am fighting for the freedom to be as we really are in our full potential. I am fighting for my family’s right to sovereignty, peace and security. We finally lock each other in a choke hold. I’ve got him by the neck gripped under my arm.
The struggle wakes me up. As I open my eyes there is a face of a man beside me. His face is bright red and he has an expression that is undoubtedly evil. If there is a devil this man is him. Interestingly he has two piercing one on his lip and the other on his nose. He is completely red except for both piercing which are a vibrant luminescent blue. I am amazed that I am seeing this before me in a fully conscious state. I give no expression other that of sheer determinations and steadfast resolve to stand my ground. After a few minutes….his image fades. I then got up and went to the bathroom to pee.