Month: December 2008

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Love is Perfect; The Bedouin Man

BedouinIn the middle of the night I woke up with the feeling that someone had taken my wallet from off my nightstand.  Before I could even open my eyes, I grabbed for my wallet which was now in the hands of a man who walked beside my bed.  To the man’s surprise, I was successful at reclaiming my wallet from him.  As I opened my eyes, there standing beside my bed was this man.  He was a Bedouin.  Although he stood in my bedroom he also stood simultaneously in his world upon a precipice in the high desert.  He was a beautiful luminescent blue angelic being whose face radiated pure unconditional love.  At times the wind being so strong blew his scarf in front of his face obscuring my view of him.  I raised my hand and arm in front of me to hail his presence.  

                                                     

He then placed a vision in my mind; a dream where I am in a sexual embrace at the point of ecstasy with not a person but the entire universe.  The universe is inside my body.  The feeling was so overwhelming that I completely lost myself forgetting where I was. My being was totally and completely consumed by the experience.  For the first time I experienced real LOVE.  I understood that when we love our love is felt by everyone.  Love is perfect. 

 

As the dream continued and I regain awareness within the dream I realize I forgot to let the dog in from the cold.  I quickly run downstairs in the dream to let him back in.  My dog is so excited to see me.  I kneel upon the floor and my dog jumps into my arms to be cuddled by me.  We walk back upstairs and return to bed. 

 

The vision ends and my awareness is returned to the Bedouin man.  My arm is still outstretched.  My eyes rolled back in my head in utter amazement as my body fell back in bed.  After a few moments, I regained my composure and sat up again to look around the room.  The Bedouin man was nowhere to be found. 

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My Mother’s Name Is Penny

Last night I had a dream.  I receive in the mail a postcard addressed to a woman who does not live in my house.  The woman lives in Washington State whereas I live in Washington, DC.  It is addressed to the organization she represents in care of her.   My attention is drawn to the name of her organization, “The Foundation of Pennies” which is similar in name to my website “Penny For My Thought.” 

 

The next day again I receive another postcard addresses to the Foundation in care of this woman who I don’t know.  Each card I receive gives me a small clue as to the nature of the business she represents.  Over the next few days I continue receiving mail for this woman.  In my curiosity to find out more about the Foundation and it’s similarity in name to mine, I decide to open her mail.  Slowly but surely through the opened correspondences, I learn more about the woman without having ever met her.  I learn that she is a lesbian who is an advocate for gay, lesbian and transgender issues.  Some of her mail contains newspaper clippings with photographs of her at various events.  

 

One day I receive a package that contains a video tape documentary which tells all about the work the woman is involved in for the Foundation.  As I’m watching the documentary I hear a knock at the door.  It is a special delivery addressed to this woman.  I immediately sign for the package and in walks a little boy.  This is her son.  He is cute around the age of seven.  Since he sees me watching his mom on television he settles in to my house without questioning where he has been sent or that he might have been sent to the wrong address.  I think, now I’m really in trouble.  How do I explain to the boy or any other authorities my behavior of having opened mail that does not belong to me?  I’m sure it is a felony to do so.  I want to keep the child along with all the mail I’ve already opened because I am fascinated by the life this woman leads.  I’m worried that I would be accused of kidnapping the child even though he was rightfully delivered to my home.  For a few days, I say nothing to the boy as he remains happily in my care. 

 

Finally I decide to ask him about his mother.  He tells me his mother’s name is Penny.  I then tell him that he was delivered to the wrong address and I confess that I don’t personally know his mother.  He then shows me the envelope that came with his delivery which he had maintained in his pants pocket.  The envelope is sealed and addressed to me.  In it are a collection of postage stamps and a letter signed by Penny.  I now have the impression this was all done for a reason.  

foun·da·tion
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1: the act of founding
2: a basis (as a tenet, principle, or axiom) upon which something stands or is supported <the foundations of geometry> <the rumor is without foundation in fact>
3 a: funds given for the permanent support of an institution : endowment b: an organization or institution established by endowment with provision for future maintenance
4: an underlying base or support ; especially : the whole masonry substructure of a building
5 a: a body or ground upon which something is built up or overlaid b: a woman’s supporting undergarment : corset c: a cosmetic usually used as a base for makeup

FUTURE REFERENCES: A Family By Choice

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A Weasle In My Bed

WeasleLast night I had a dream where I am undergoing a surgical procedure to remove some calcified deposit from my brain.  The procedure will be done on an out patient basis.  The procedure is described to me in detail by a female surgeon who will be performing the surgery.  The surgery needs to be done immediately before I awaken.  I am worried because there is no time to notify my employer in the event that I am unable to report to work the following day.  I am very scared fearing for my life.  She is the only person from whom I can seek assurance of my safety.  Before I sit in the operating chair I ask her if I can hug her.  At that moment a gentleman walks by. He is a resident intern.  She turns in his direction to grab his attention.  She asks him if he would share his story with me to help reassure me concerning the need for and safety of the procedure I am to undergo.  He pauses in the doorway to gather his thoughts and begins to explain his story which is similar to my situation.  He explains that he would have otherwise died if it had not been for the procedure that is about to be performed on me.

 

As she begins to apply the anesthesia to my scalp above my left ear, I begin to awaken from the dream.  Over me in my bed is an ethereal humanoid being who is by no means human.  I recognize him to be extraterrestrial.  Both my hands are holding my comforter tightly close around my neck to keep the warmth from escaping my sheets.  This visitor has a pointed jaw line and a few teeth protruding from his mouth.  He reminds me of a weasel or ferret.  I don’t trust him.  In a moment of quick thinking I try to push my comforter forward netting the being the being in my comforter and thereby pushing him away from me.  As my arms began to move forward in his direction he quickly reached down grabbing both my arms tightly and pinned me back down to my bed.  I felt the pressure of his forward motion and the weight of his body against my mine.  He looked squarely into my eyes.  I could see his lips moving but I did not hear any sound.  I laid there motionless under the weight of his presence with no alternate recourse.  He examined me visually then released me and backed away vanishing into space.  I looked at my clock on my nightstand. It was 4:25 am.  I then got up and went to the restroom.

In traditional symbology however, the weasel is represented as brave, graceful,[2] and a symbol of the brave Christian who triumphs over more powerful foes.[3] A weasel is shown as the companion of St Jordan of Battberg. It was also used in Christian hagiography as a symbol of resurrection,[4] and was respected as a hunter of snakes, and the one creature that could reliably kill a basilisk.

Weasels are one of many villainous races, along with rats and ferrets — although ferrets, biologically speaking, are a species of weasel.  In reference to the weasel’s reputation for skullduggery, the phrase “weasel words” means insincere or devious speech.

 

Basiliscus LizardIn European bestiaries and legends, a basilisk “little king” is a legendary reptile reputed to be king of serpents and said to have the power to cause death with a single glance. According to the Naturalis Historia of Pliny the Elder, the basilisk of Cyrene is a small snake, “being not more than twelve fingers in length”,[2] that is so venomous that it leaves a wide trail of deadly venom in its wake, and its gaze is likewise lethal; its weakness is in the odour of the weasel, which according to Pliny, was thrown into the basilisk’s hole, recognisable because all the surrounding shrubs and grass had been scorched by its presence.

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What Becomes A Name

GodI’ve been trying to get off of my anti-depressants because I haven’t felt that they are working for me anymore because I’m always depressed.  I began by discontinuing my Prozac and Seroquil and I tried to stop taking my Remeron but couldn’t because I simply couldn’t sleep without it.  During my last trip to visit my family I continued the Remeron while stopping the others and figured I’d work on discontinuing the Remeron once I returned to DC from LA.  The day of our departure back to DC I had a 6am flight.  In order to have enough time to return the car rental and get to the airport on time I had to wake up at 2:30 in the morning. I had had very little sleep.  I thought upon arriving to DC this would be a great opportunity to stop the Remeron because I thought with my body being so tired it would naturally fall asleep with ease.  For the next few nights I did just that and for the most part it worked.  I was Remeron free although my sleep was less than perfect very broken causing me to awaken every few hours but nevertheless I was dreaming so I felt good.  I even had a visitation from a grey bearded gentleman one morning when I awoke I found him standing beside my bed.  He never said a word but simply looked at me and smiled.  I smiled and waved at him and closed my eyes and hoped for sleep.

 

I thought I had licked the Remeron and was on my way to recovery when the migranes started.  This night I took two Excedrin before bed.  The pain was tremendous but I was determined not to fall back on the Remeron.  My sleep was the worst it had been all week but my dreams on the otherhand were incredibly vivid. I was dreaming while awake.  This night I remained 100% lucid for the entire night because I was so close to the surface of conscious awakening.  

 

I journeyed to some of the most incredible places I have ever seen walking through tunnels with lights that pulsated through them.  At one point I wanted to determine where the beautiful lights were originating from that were pulsating through the tunnels.  I discovered these powerful lights in the depths of darkness were emanating from my spirit.  As I moved the lights moved with me.  I was a beacon of light.  The light essence formed walkways before me that had not existed before upon which I could traverse.  Along the walkways appeared heavily wooded cottages with small gardens that were simply beautiful for as far as my eyes could see.  As I moved through the walkway with a clear line of site before me I noticed the cottages at the end of my line of sight moved with every movement I made.  I was amazed.  They are not only absolutely beautiful but they also respond to my beckoning.  As I walk along the winding road I am amazed that the light from my spirit is so bright going forth and illuminating all the gardens.  At one point I pause stopping for a moment then take a few steps backward to see if the light is still responding to my movements, which it is. 

 

After enjoying the gardens I know it is time for me to wake up.  A woman appears to escort me out of the garden and bid me farewell.  She tells me “What you take with you, you may name or you may keep its name and wait 10 yrs.”   

 

With that I awoke in total amazement from within a very light sleep.