August 2008 – Ruben Bailey

August 28, 2008

The Logos of the Man

Last night I had a dream where I am lonely living life without a partner. I then look in my closet and I see stacks of T-shirts many with logos on them. Somehow I know each represents a potential mate. I’m still skeptical. How do you get from the T-Shirt to the Man?

Still absent a partner, I continue with my hobby of building a shuttle craft. It is my soul passion. My craft is so good NASA is now considering my work. One day, I get help from the aliens. They deliver to me a secret for mind control and levitation. While I sleep and when NASA is unsuspecting, (NASA erroneously believes all the work happens during the day) my shuttle craft takes lift using mind control instead of propulsion. The fuselage is an empty canister of light which glows brightly like the belly of a firefly. My craft is now perfected to the point that it is a living organism of light.

This LOGOS holds always but humans always prove unable to understand it, both before hearing it and when they have first heard it. For though all things come to be in accordance with this LOGOS, humans are like the inexperienced when they experience such words and deeds as I set out, distinguishing each in accordance with its nature and saying how it is. But other people fail to notice what they do when awake, just as they forget what they do while asleep. (Diels-Kranz 22B1)

For this reason it is necessary to follow what is common. But although the LOGOS is common, most people live as if they had their own private understanding. (Diels-Kranz 22B2)

Listening not to me but to the LOGOS it is wise to agree that all things are one. (Diels-Kranz 22B50)[7]

August 22, 2008

A Game of Hide and Seek

Last night as I lay in bed I began to meditate. I immediately started seeing a depth of vision within my third eye as if I was lying on a table within a large empty room. I could see beautiful bright blue lights panning back and forth in a spiraling motion. The lights and depth of perception were so vivid and intense which is very uncommon for this early stage of meditation. I had just shut my eyes. I decided to open them again to see if what I was seeing was within me or outside of me.

I opened my eyes as the lights intensified. I could now see them both with my eyes open and with my eyes closed. Except now the phenomena was supper imposed upon my bedroom. Beside me were standing 3 beings that I could barely make out. I carefully looked around the room knowing wherever there is such lights beings are normally present. They were 3 completely etheric being that stood immediately to my left. They were each about 4 ½ feet tall. I could see completely through them yet I know they were there because I could see the vibratory signature of their energy. I held out the palm of my left hand to them right side up in a welcoming gesture. The one next to me reached out and as she did a vortex of light came streaming from here as she reached and placed her palm in mine. As she moved her essence seemed to be electrified and magnetized by the movement and the interaction with my aura which I could now clearly see. Her energy was a deep burgundy maroon in color. She held my hand for a few minutes. Vortexes opened up in front of the other two which then connected to the energy of my aura. I could see into these light filled vortexes. The light so excited completely filled my bedroom. The one who held my hand telepathically suggested that I close my close my eyes and meditate.

I promptly responded to her request by closing my eyes. I was now in another room, a place on a different plane of existence. I could clearly see them walking around me examining me from above. I could see their shadows move against the wall. I could see them only as shadows. In there shadows, I could make out their form. Although humanoid they were significantly different from me. They were however completely benevolent. I could tell this because I felt their energy. I had connected to their auras and I knew them and their intentions. They have allowed me to see a little more of them each time and with each time understand why they are here and what my roll is in all the change that is about to sweep our globe.

I then fell asleep and had dreams about them all night long. I kept trying to get at them because they like to hide in the dreams. It was an all night game of hid and seek. I never tired of looking for them and I always found them. I would have them for a minute and then they’d get away from me again. At one point in the early morning, I nearly had them cornered under my bed sheets. As I went to grab him he slide out onto the floor next to the closet door beside my bed. I slid out of the bed with him the act of sliding woke me up. I was sitting there looking at him and my closet door for about two minutes before I had realized where I was. He instantly vanished.

August 18, 2008

To Know the Stars at Night

Last night I had a dream where I am an heiress to an incredible fortune that came to me by way of a divorce. I am living in Hawaii. Everything is so beautiful here. At one point I look up at the sky and see very large fish swimming among the clouds looking at me, observing me. I ask myself how this is possible. I am told that both the water and the sky are so clear that they reflect each other perfectly. The fish I see swimming in the sky are those that are in the sea and are simply reflected in the sky. It is like a mirror unto itself. This land is a paradise. You can be at sea level while at the same time, be among the tops of the highest snow caped mountains. Most here are wealthy enough to afford to have their own small private planes. It is the easiest way to move about from island to island. Even though this land has everything I could ever want for and my fortune allows me to access to just about anything, I still want only one thing in life; to know the stars at night.

August 15, 2008

The Dark Night

Last night I had a dream where I am at an IASD Conference. I am upset because I have temporary residence within the organization. Little do I know that during the interim sessions all the members who hold residency status must vacate their quarters and return home for a period of time. Then return a new. All my possessions are being displaced. I should have known this but I guess I just did not pay attention to the details. They have already come through and dismantled most of my living quarters. I demand to see the President but my request is ignored.

Now I lay and wait for the dark night when we all must return home. My friend Ed and I are sitting around waiting. He rode his bicycle to the conference and is planning the trip home in the same way. The distance he must cover is at least 12 hours by car. It is also the dead of winter with little if any daylight. The sun never rises during this period. He plans to head south on his bike by way of Boston. We are laying in bed watching television just waiting for the right moment. We are cuddled up with each other to help keep each other warm. All of the others have long since left. He then gets up and begins applying tar all over his body as a form of insulation for the long ride home. He is covered from head to toe in black tar. He reminds me of a black crow. I know my time has come, it is time to ready myself to make the same journey back home.

Dark Night of the Soul (Spanish: La noche oscura del alma) is a treatise written by Spanish poet and Roman Catholic mystic Saint John of the Cross. It has become an expression used to describe a phase in a person’s spiritual life, a metaphor for a certain loneliness and desolation. It is referenced by spiritual traditions throughout the world.

The phrase “dark night of the soul” emerged from the writings of Saint John of the Cross, a Carmelite priest in the 16th century. Dark Night of the Soul, the name of a poem and its theological commentary, are among the Carmelite priest’s most well-known writings. The texts tell of the saint’s mystical development and the stages he is subjected to on his journey towards union with God.

The Dark Night of the Soul is divided into two books that reflect the two phases of the dark night. The first is a purification of the senses. The second and more intense of the two stages is that of the spirit, which is the less common of the two. Dark Night of the Soul further describes the ten steps on the ladder of mystical love, previously described by Saint Thomas Aquinas and in part by Aristotle, referred to by medieval Catholic theologians as the Philosopher, for he established justification for the existence of one true God and thus refuted his master, Plato. The text was written while John of the Cross was imprisoned by his Carmelite brothers, who opposed his reformations to the Order.

Saint Thérèse of Lisieux, a 19th-century French Carmelite, underwent similar experience. Centering on doubts about the afterlife, she reportedly told her fellow nuns, “If you only knew what darkness I am plunged into.”

While this crisis is assured to be temporary in nature, it may be extended. The “dark night” of Saint Paul of the Cross in the 18th century lasted 45 years, from which he ultimately recovered. Mother Teresa of Calcutta, according to letters released in 2007, “may be the most extensive such case on record”, lasting from 1948 almost up until her death in 1997, with only brief interludes of relief between. Franciscan Friar Father Benedict Groeschel, a friend of Mother Teresa for a large part of her life, claims that “the darkness left” towards the end of her life.

The “dark night” might clinically or secularly be described as the letting go of one’s ego as it holds back the psyche, thus making room for some form of transformation, perhaps in one’s way of defining oneself or one’s relationship to God. This interim period can be frightening, hence the perceived “darkness.”

Tar is a viscous black liquid derived from the destructive distillation of organic matter. Most tar is produced from coal as a byproduct of coke production, but it can also be produced from petroleum, peat or wood.Tar is used in treatment of the skin disease psoriasis, where coal tar is the most effective. Tar is also a general disinfectant. Petroleum tar was also used in ancient Egyptian mummification circa 1000 BC.

Crows, and especially ravens, often feature in European legends or mythology as portents or harbingers of doom or death, because of their dark plumage, unnerving calls, and tendency to eat carrion. They are commonly thought to circle above scenes of death such as battles.

In the Epic of Gilgamesh, the Chaldean myth, the character Utnapishtim releases a dove and a raven to find land, however, the dove merely circles and returns. Only then does Utnapishtim send forth the raven, who does not return. Utnapishtim extrapolates from this that the raven has found land, which is why it hasn’t returned. This would seem to indicate some acknowledgement of crow intelligence, which may have been apparent even in ancient times, and to some might imply that the higher intelligence of crows, when compared to other birds, is striking enough that it was known even then.

Amongst Wiccans, crows are often thought to be highly psychic and are associated with the element of ether or spirit, rather than the element of air as with most other birds. This may in part be due to the long-standing occult tradition of associating the color black with “the abyss” of infinite knowledge (see akasha), or perhaps also to the more modern occult belief that wearing the “color” black aids in psychic ability, as it absorbs more electromagnetic energy, since surfaces appear black by absorbing all frequencies in the visible spectrum, reflecting no color.

August 8, 2008

The Cicada of Truth

Tonight I had some of the most incredibly vivid dreams I have ever had. I must have gotten up to go to the bathroom at least 3 times and each time the dreams continued right where they had left off the minute I closed my eyes without waiting for me to fall back asleep.

In the first dream I am visiting my first lover Jerry who is now living on a secluded mountaintop in a very large house. Walking through his house, I am amazed that he has been so successful in his life to have acquired so many wonderful things to adorn his house with. He has obviously exercised good judgment in his decision making. He has several young daughters, twins and triplets from about the ages of 3 to 5 years old. All of them love to play games with him. He is their Daddy. He sets up scenes for them to play house and hide in miniature worlds which he cordons off with curtain sheers. He illuminates their play area from within. He hides behind the curtain and watches them play. He interacts with them in this way by moving the curtain to create shadows. Every once in a while one of the little girls will pop her head out through the curtain to see what he is about to do next. She has caught on to his game. They are so engaged with each other it is such a joy to watch the love that is between them. The girls look up to him and want to be around him all the time. They crave his attention. His activities with his children keep him so happy and busy that he does not have any time left to live the gay life he used to live. His life is now consumed by his children. It is a simple life yet he would not have it any other way. He is simply a man.

I walk over to one of the other rooms of the house and find a bed where I lay my head down to enjoy the comfort of his home while my sister prepares a meal for us. As I lay there it occurs to me that I might be dreaming, because my sister is not one to be preparing a meal. I then begin to hear a loud buzzing sound. It is a sound I can clearly place outside of the dream. Believing it is a sound in my bedroom, I open my eyes (in real life).

Hanging upside down from the ceiling are two non human creatures. They are a transparent luminescent green and remind me of those long tubular balloons they have at the fair that are twisted to form different animal like shapes. My ceiling in the bedroom is at least 12 feet high. These beings hung upside down and were at least 5 feet long. I raised my arm at the one on my right to let him know I could see him. The deafening sound they were making reminded me of a cicada bug. One of the two jumped down off the ceiling and landed on my bed and quickly jumped on the floor and stood by my left bedpost at my feet. The other remained suspended from the ceiling. Within the shrill of their speech was a telepathic message. They kept asking me to do them a favor. They insisted I do something for them but they refused to say please so I refused to carry out their wish. For some reason I can’t remember what they wanted maybe they blocked my memory of the conversation but they were apparently not able to block my intention. What I do remember distinctly is that they would not say please.

I finally got tired and grabbed my nightshirt which was lying on the floor beside me and swung it in their direction to get them to shut up. The one hanging from the ceiling quickly jumped on the bed and both rushed off into the hallway.

I got up out of bed and followed them with my night shirt in hand but they were nowhere to be seen. I wasn’t about to go looking for them downstairs I had a dream to continue so instead I took advantage of the opportunity and found my way to the restroom to take a leak then returned to bed to continue the dream.

The moment I laid down I began to hear voices. I knew they were alien voices. I knew I would see their craft if I looked for it. I knew they were close by I just needed to meditate and take myself there. After a few minutes I did see their space ship clear as day. It was an amber craft that looked like an upside down tea cup without the handle. It had a high dome saucer shape which was unlike any of the ones I’ve seen in the media. It did not look very aerodynamic to me with such a high profile. It looked more lake an old beetle, nevertheless this thing could fly.

A few minutes later I was among them on a carousel under their custody and protection. They asked me how I got there. I told them I didn’t know how I got there I just knew I had fallen asleep and was lying in bed dreaming. Standing in their presence it occurred to me that I might be having an out of body experience. They took me to a high ledge and asked me if I knew how to fly. I took one look below at the profound depth above which I stood and replied, “Of course I know how to fly.” I then let myself drop off the cliff. Instead of flying to greater heights I went straight for the shadowy depths. I could hear their concerned voices trying to instill fear in me telling me I would not be unable to return from such terrible depths. They said the shadows would attach themselves to me and imprison me. What they did not tell me which I know to be true is that the shadows can be transformed by the light. I resisted their attempts to instill fear in me knowing that even the shadows of death can be transformed. I walked upon the dead sand in the depths of darkness and as I did slowly things around me began to come back to life. Things began to illuminate from within. I found that I was standing upon the belly of a man. I walked over to his mouth and opened it to look inside. I could hear them counseling me otherwise. Within his mouth lay another man asleep. I knew that man to be me.

Scary gruelly figures started to come out from all areas. One was like Medusa with worms and creatures coming out of her hair and skin but I was unaffected and unafraid. She looks at me and asks, “Do you know who you are?” I reply, No I don’t, but what I do know is that I have the power to bring light to darkness.”

August 5, 2008

A Feminine Viewpoint of a Man's World

I had a dream where I am with Joe at a resort. We are sitting by the pool. I get up and leave him there to go off on my own. Little do I know, I will never be able to return to him and my past because, as the story unfolds my world will forever change.

I am headed back to our room when I come across a man. We get into an interesting conversation. He is a robust man wearing shorts and a light vest with no undershirt. He reminds me of a captain of a ship. I am captivated by the golden hair on his chest and the way it glistens in the sunlight. He allows me to place my hand over his heart to feel his fur against my hand. I am distracted long enough such that by the time I look back everything has changed. My world is nothing like it used to be.

With this new world reality, I become lucid. I know I am experiencing a world of those who have visited me. In this new paradigm, the men and women are segregated. I am experiencing a man’s world from the vantage point of the women. I have gained access to this insight through the women who have concealed my presence. The men are completely unaware. All those in a man’s world have their backs to me. They are going about their business. Unlike the women who are much like me, the men are tree climbers. I can see how different their world is from mine. I am discouraged because I lack the ability to climb trees. I could never survive in their environment. How would I ever integrate myself into a man’s world? I observe them for a bit longer before I decide to leave.

Knowing I must retreat I go back into the protection of the women. The world of the women is much different from the men. The women are exactly like me. I believe the women are offering me asylum into their world a place they call England.

Now free within their world. I still don’t feel quite a part of being that I’m not a woman. I can feel the pull of my yearning to be with my own kind. I wonder into a small shop a candy store where two children are play with some of the gumballs. One of the two boys has a sling shot. I watch him take a gumball and place it in his sling to shoot it forward. From behind I feel the gumball hit the back of my head. Knowing there is no such thing as distance or time here I know it was the boy intention to sling his sling that I felt upon my head.

I leave out the candy store wanting to return home. Standing outside the candy store I begin to float away.

This dream really spoke to me as having a very important message. I was curious to the hidden meaning of England as the place of asylum. Quite interestingly here is what I found:

England is a country, which is part of the United Kingdom. England is named after the Angles, the largest of the Germanic tribes who settled in England in the 5th and 6th centuries, and who are believed to have originated in the peninsula of Angeln, in what is now Denmark and northern Germany.

Immediately I saw the word twist with Angles and Angels. Looking up Angles the dictionary brought me to the word angle which at first I had not even picked up on. From the definition of angle the following struck me with the tone of synchronicity.

ANGLE: the precise viewpoint from which something is observed or considered <a camera angle> <consider the question from all angles>; also: the aspect seen from such an angle <discuss all angles of the question> b (1): a special approach, point of attack, or technique for accomplishing an objective <try a new angle> (2): an often improper or illicit method of obtaining advantage <a salesman always looking for an angle>

The women offered me a new angle (viewpoint) from which to experience a man’s world.

Oh the magic of the dream is so amazing.

August 4, 2008

The Sacred Heart

Last night I had a dream where I am with Paramahansa Yogananda. He wants to re-establish the original church according to prophesy. We must go back in time to a world called Pakistan. Without hesitation and fully devoted to my guru, I follow him. In preparation for the trip back, I’m told that his heart must be transplanted into the body of another man. I witness the entire transplantation process. As if through x-ray glasses, I can see his beating heart reconnecting with all the major organs and systems of the man’s body. His heart is now in the body of a man I do not fully recognize. If I had not been allowed to witness the process I might not have been able to believe it, yet I feel his presence. I know it is him. I am amazed that his essence moves with him through this other man.

We now embark upon our journey to go back in time. I’m a bit confused however. So I ask him, Guru, is it not India where you’d like to go? He replies, “No, Pakistan is the seat of the original church, as told by prophesies.” When we arrive I am in culture shock. I feel estranged. The civilization here is so primative. You can’t even get a cup of coffee here. The place is a region near the boarder of both worlds. I feel so out of place. I can’t adjust to this environment. It is so foreign to me. I want to go home.

The ordeal seems unending and at times I wonder if I am not enslaved here in this foreign land. At times, my faith in my Guru slips me because I don’t understand all that is in his plan. I wonder if I will ever see the day when I will reconnect with my homeland. I miss my home. I want to go home but I know this mission is very important and for that I am willing to stay in this foreign land.

Then the day finally comes. I had almost come to the point when I had forgotten about my homeland. The day has come to go home.

Yogananda taught his students the need for direct experience of truth, as opposed to blind belief. He said that “The true basis of religion is not belief, but intuitive experience. Intuition is the soul’s power of knowing God. To know what religion is really all about, one must know God.”

Echoing traditional Hindu teachings, he taught that the entire universe is God’s cosmic motion picture, and that individuals are merely actors in the divine play who change roles through reincarnation. He taught that mankind’s deep suffering is rooted in identifying too closely with one’s current role, rather than with the movie’s director, or God.

He taught Kriya Yoga and other meditation practices to help people achieve that understanding, which he called self-realization:

Self-realization is the knowing in all parts of body, mind, and soul that you are now in possession of the kingdom of God; that you do not have to pray that it come to you; that God’s omnipresence is your omnipresence; and that all that you need to do is improve your knowing.

The Sacred Heart is a religious devotion to Jesus’ physical heart as the representation of the divine love for humanity. Christ, in his appearances to Margaret Mary, allegedly promised these blessings to those who practice devotion to his Sacred Heart. This tabular form of promises was not made by St. Margaret Mary or her contemporaries. It first appeared at 1863. In 1882, an American businessman spread the tabular form of the promises profusely throughout the world, the twelve promises appearing in 238 languages. In 1890, Cardinal Adolph Perraud deplored this circulation of the promises in the tabular form which were different from the words and even from the meaning of the expressions used by St. Margaret Mary, and wanted the promises to be published in the full, authentic texts as found in the writings of St. Margaret Mary.[9]

1. I will give them all the graces necessary for their state of life.

2. I will give peace in their families.

3. I will console them in all their troubles.

4. I will be their refuge in life and especially in death.

5. I will abundantly bless all their undertakings.

6. Sinners shall find in my Heart the source and infinite ocean of mercy.

7. Tepid souls shall become fervent.

8. Fervent souls shall rise speedily to great perfection.

9. I will bless those places wherein the image of My Sacred Heart shall be exposed and venerated.

10. I will give to priests the power to touch the most hardened hearts.

11. Persons who propagate this devotion shall have their names eternally written in my Heart.

12. In the excess of the mercy of my Heart, I promise you that my all powerful love will grant to all those who will receive Communion on the First Fridays, for nine consecutive months, the grace of final repentance: they will not die in my displeasure, nor without receiving the sacraments; and my Heart will be their secure refuge in that last hour.

The last promise has given rise to the pious Roman Catholic practice of making an effort to attend Mass and receive Communion on the first Friday of each month.

Great efficacy of converting people has been attached to the use of the image of the Sacred Heart.

“Even at the hour of death, incredulous, indifferent, hardened souls have been converted by simply showing them a picture of the Sacred Heart, which sufficed to restore these sinners to the life of hope and love, in a word, to touch the most hardened. It would, indeed, be a great misfortune to any apostolic man to neglect so powerful a means of conversion, and in proof of this I will mention a single fact which will need no comment. A religious of the Company of Jesus had been requested by the Blessed Margaret Mary to make a careful engraving of the Sacred Heart. Being often hindered by other occupations, there was much delay in preparing this plate. ‘ This good father,’ writes the saint, ‘is so much occupied by Mon- signor d’Autun in the conversion of heretics, that he has neither time nor leisure to give to the work so ardently desired by the Heart of our Divine Master. You cannot imagine, my much-loved mother, how greatly this delay afflicts and pains me. I must avow confidently to you my belief that it is the cause of his converting so few infidels in this town. I seem constantly to hear these words : ‘ That if this good father had acquitted himself at once of his promise to the Sacred Heart, Jesus would have changed and converted the hearts of these infidels, on account of the joy He would have felt at seeing Himself honoured in the picture He so much wishes for. As, however, he prefers other work, even though to the glory of God, to that of giving Him this satisfaction, He will harden the hearts of these infidels, and the labours of this mission will not be crowned with much fruit.’

August 1, 2008

A Scarf Among First

I had a dream where I am given a burgundy scarf by two elderly women to replace a stripped blue and white scarf that I had been wearing. I am told to set out on my appointed mission.

Now in my house, I am preparing to ready myself for my journey. I am living in a house that is haunted. My mind is on the task ahead of me when the spirit in the house begins to make his presence known. He is opening and closing doors to make me aware of his presence. As I am getting ready to leave he confronts me in the stair well. I don’t have time to deal with him. I try to push my way through him. A fight erupts between me and the spirit. We tug at each other as each struggles to have the upper hand. The conflict is so intense it wakes me up.

Over me was the spirit from my dream. He had me pinned to the bed. I was so irritated that I immediately jumped up out of bed and stood up. The spirit backed off and became an orb of vibratory green light resting just above my closet door about 3 feet from where I was standing. In my right hand I held an in-flight pillow those they sell at airports. I normally sleep with one every night and use it between my legs so that my knees don’t rest against each other. Without hesitation, I whacked the green orb with my pillow squashing it against the door as if it was a fly on the wall. I saw the green light from the orb turn dull against the door as the vibration ceased within the orb.

Angrily, I grabbed my pair of shorts and walked over to the bathroom to pee. I did my business and forcefully jumped bank in bed and grabbed my voice recorder to capture the details of the dream.

As I journal this experience, I have to wonder what was the significance of the scarf? Apparently there is such a thing as an academic scarf which felt appropriate here. I felt the dream was conferring honor, knowledge, authority and power to proceed on my journey. I believe my mission is to gather my research for my next book on the nature of evil and the shadow self.

In many British and Irish colleges and universities, sets of two or more colors have traditionally been used as part of the distinctive visual identity of the institution. These colors are used in clothing and symbols of all kinds, from ties to trophies, but notably in the long woolen winter scarves that students often wear to show their pride in their Institution.

In looking at the colors of the scarves and the universities associated with those colors I found:

Blue and White

Hatfield College whose coat of arms reads, “Vel Primus Vel cum Primis” which literally means “Either First or With the First”

Trinity College, Oxford

Burgundy

Kings College

Saint Mary’s College

Now St. Mary synchronizes well with the dream because of the two women. I see them as both Mary the mother of Jesus and Mary Magdalene. Mary Magdalene is thought in metaphysical circles to have possessed knowledge of all the ancient Egyptian mysteries (see Mystery Schools) which is why she is depicted in art with the skull. Both are also considered the expression of the divine feminine the Easter Egg, the vulva vestibule, or the giver of life which is the aspect of spirituality we have lost in our patriarchal religions today. The divine feminine possesses the mysteries of life. If you’ve read The De Vince Code you know this to be the Holy Grail. As you might have noticed this dovetails nicely into yesterday’s dream, The Assembly of Vestibules where I was among those secret societies like the Masons and Illuminati who are cloaked in mystery.

Lastly is the meaning of color. Colors are allocated to various fields of learning and have been apparently standardized by the American Council of Education in their Academic Costume Code.

White is Liberal Arts, Literature and Humanities.

Blue is Education and Philosophy

Burgundy is Law

Am I onto discovering the Holy Grail and the secret of life. Is evil a mere front to shroud the heavily guarded secrets to the mysteries of life such that only he who overcomes fear can penetrate the veil. Hmmm… I think I’m on to something.