This morning when I woke up I immediately reflected on what my dream might have been but I could not remember having had any dreams. Absolutely nothing came to mind. Blank was my recollection when suddenly like a fireball came the words, “The Stadium” I then remembered fully the dream I had actually just woken up from with the surprising words and shocking revelation; “The Stadium”. Somehow like with the twist of a Rubik’s Cube or more precisely Ruben’s Cube the next puzzle piece in the mystery that is my life was revealed. I knew at that moment that several dimensions of my existence my Rubik’s Cube had just come into alignment. It will take time to explain beyond this dream but here is how it unfolded.
In the dream I am at Disneyland with three other friends getting ready to ride the Madahorn. Our turn comes to board the ride. The conductor separates my group into two cars. “Why does this always happen to me?” My three friends are placed in a car together while I am placed separately in another car with someone I don’t know. Early in the line we were given seat pads on which to sit. Hesitant to get in the car with this strange person, I pause and in pausing the unknown person takes my seat pad leaving me without a pad for use on the ride. Seeing this, one of my friends throws a purple towel at me indicating that I should use it as a substitute for the seat pad.
The Madahorn has two tracks. The main track goes off to the right and a second track which is still under construction goes off to the left. My friends are placed on the main track while I am placed on the second track. Resentful at having been separated and placed on an inferior track I challenge the ride. I am critical of all loops and turns as I examine the ride’s structure as my car travels downs its path. The track is incomplete without a predetermined ending. Having to come up with a suitable ending the conductor decides to let us off over a large pool of water. As my ending becomes apparent to me I quickly voice my complaint. I’m not a good swimmer and my worst irritation is being subject to the chill of being dunked in a pool of water. Such is my fate and I go plunging into this pool of water. It doesn’t turn out to be quite as bad a shock as I had imagined as the pool is nicely heated. I am able to quickly gather myself and swim to the pools edge to climb out. As I get out I am complaining that such an ending is not a safe one. It involves too much risk. One should not assume the occupant knows how to swim. As Murphy’s Law would have it the unknown person I am riding with is unable to swim. He is now drowning in the pool of water. The park workers quickly dive in to save him. A park police officer comes to accuse the unknown person of wrong doing. He is stripped of his pants only to find that the person had done no wrong. Further angered by their actions I come up upon the officer and heckle him calling him a faggot as I grab and squeeze his genitals to induce pain.
What has come over me? When I was in Jr., High School I had a physical education teacher who always yelled at his students. He probably did this to motivate them but he used very inappropriate language. He always yelled at us and called us FAGGOTS. That probably rolled off the backs of most but for me it was always extremely painful to hear because I knew I was gay. I knew I was a faggot, I was different. I did not have the same abilities or inclinations other boys had toward sports. I always dreaded going to PE class.
The dream continues as I am now trying to find my way back to the Disney Park. I then see a group of green people wearing blue hats. I recognize them as the film crew. They are highly advanced spiritual beings from another dimension. They have taken their green reptilian base self and merged it with a highly evolved blue awareness of spirit. They have been observing me all along. They have learned from me a love of spirit. I somehow unknowingly had something to do with their acquiring their blue hats. Beyond them I can see the green disc shaped starships in which they travel the cosmos. I am admiring the beauty that is their starships when suddenly I see the bleachers within their observation decks. “THE STADIUM,” I yell out, “it is … THE STADIUM.” Instantly I become lucid and become aware that there is a woman standing next to me. She probably thinks I’m crazy yelling out what might appear to be nonsense but I clearly remember the Stadium.
The Stadium has appeared in many of my dreams. Recently I had a profound dream which I didn’t have a chance to journal but since the Stadium showed up here I will give a summary of that dream.
In that dream I become aware of the illusions we are subject to in our 3rd dimension of reality. I can clearly see through the looking glass at the many spirits who sit in the bleachers of the stadium observing my existence. Feeling like Truman in the Truman show I want to expose them and free myself of their watchful eyes. I find a way to open the glass partition between the two worlds exposing their existence. Not knowing what would happen if I open the door. I take a chance and open the door only to find that I can see the bleachers but not the people in the stadium seating. They are still invisible to me. I can only see them through the glass. Disappointed I go on with my life but things are not quite the same anymore. I go to use the phone and notice that I can no longer dial the numbers because the 3rd row of numbers, ie 7, 8 and 9 are completely missing. I look at my partner Joe to confront him about the missing numbers. I know you are behind this trickery, I tell him. I then break the phone open and throw it at him. The phone lands at an angle that suddenly makes it possible for me to see the missing row of numbers. They have been there all along. I simply couldn’t see them. I then have an idea to use a permanent marker to mark where the numbers appear in space. The numbers are not located on the surface of the phone but suspended in space. I am aware of the Stadium.